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Hey oloni Ive been with my bf for 4 years and honestly Ive started resenting him due to the fact he brings no value or purpose to my life.i feel like he’s just there I hardly see him even though we are not far from each other and we don’t do anything like go out,spend time together.i feel like he contacts me when I’m bored and in the beginning he was alright with being there but now it’s like I feel annoyed seeing his face.like last week he saw me shopping and came over and I just started saying in my head ‘Ughhh not this prick wtf does he want’.i really feel like he has caused me to feel this way I’m so jealous of my friends who have boyfriends who tend to their every need.They get taken on dates ,get given gifts and see their boyfriends regularly and the way they talk about their men I wish I could do the same.my bf has probably taken me out 3 times in those for years,missed three of my birthdays and got angry when my friends took me out on my birthday claiming that’s why he ain’t do nothing.i don’t feel comfortable in asking him to come round just to chill and talk cos he bores me and all he talks about is sexual stuff more time.because of this Ive stopped having sex with him (8 months now) and have
13. August 2017
Dump him!
Hi oloni, two months ago I met this girl and from the get go we have instantly connected. We understand each other and feels like we’ve known each other for years even though it’s only been two months. We’ve been on 3 dates (which would of been a lot more if she wasn’t traveling abroad with her family lol) so far and I’ve never met anyone like her in terms of understanding me as an individual. Shes told me she’s never met someone like me and that im what she’s looking for. She’s displayed girlfriend qualities I look for so far and herself has hinted at wanting a relationship and I’m feeling the same way aswell. And I’m a guy who follows my gut instinct when wanting something. However, over a week ago I went on a night out for my friends birthday and usually at the stage where I’m single and not dating anyone too deeply I approach other women and for that night I didn’t have the urge to because of how well things are going with the girl I’m currently seeing. One of my other friends questioned why I wasn’t approaching women baring in mind he knows how well things are going with me and started going along the lines of “you’ll mess yourself up” “don’t put your egg into one basket” “what are you going to do if the girl just stops talking to you?” Baring in mind I have been on dates with 4 other girls (which didn’t progress) before meeting the one I’m currently seeing, so I certainly wasn’t putting my eggs into one basket. He even said when he was in a relationship that he was still approaching women as usual and exchanging their numbers but said he don’t do anything with them which in my opinion is asinine and a waste of time. After all that I’m getting the vibe that he there might be a bit of jealousy on his side even though he’s claimed he’s happy I met someone I really like. It feels like he’s trying to put doubts into my head about the girl I’m seeing, negative thoughts which I don’t need. I will not be influenced into making rash decisions based on someone else’s opinion and because of what happened last week I have been quite a bit distant from him in particular. I will not let any girl destroy my other friendships I have but at the same time I don’t want to be in a situation where I’m constantly getting barraged with negative comments. How should I deal with this situation?
13. August 2017
I hope you ask this lady out (officially) you sound happy and seem to have found someone who’s right for you.
Your friend sounds like he doesn’t want to lose a wing man, it’s irritating.. but you do need to have a stern word with him, just say ‘I’m not interested’.
You can’t guilt someone into talking to other women, just because you think they might be putting all their eggs in one basket. Your love life isn’t his business.
Talk to him and let him know he needs to lay off.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been in a committed relationship with my man for almost a year now (flew out to see him for two weeks, long distsnce for 6 months amd then summer). Things were perfect but lately he’s different. I’m not naive so I pay attention to the signs, he stopped trying to make plans with me, he said hurtful things like he doesn’t love me as much as he used to and last Saturday he blocked me off his phone because I called him out on lying to me about secretly going out with the boys and ditching me when he was meant to pick me up. Today I went through his phone, not only is his password this “zara” babe’s name, all the pet names he used to call me he calls her. I called him out on it and he keeps lying she’s just “someone he talks to”. I broke up with him yesterday after what happened on Saturday and he begged me yesterday and I took him back. But today? It’s a whole new ball game. I love this man and I’ve invested so much into him, my love , my support, my time and my patience. I don’t want the relationship to be over but I can’t ignore the signs. Should I leave him? Is this just a phase? Or is he taking advantage of me and my love and trying to eat his cake and have it?
13. August 2017
He’s not the one hun. In fact you answered your own question towards the end of this dilemma.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I’ve been talking to a guy for a year and we have met up a couple of times, I would say he is my type ‘on paper’. Recently he makes references about me being his girl, before this I genuinely didn’t think he was interested in me in that way. The other day we met up and chilled, all was fine until he wanted to have sex and I didn’t so he threw a tantrum and told me I’m not serious – it was so uncomfortable. We are both stubborn but I have noticed he is stubborn to the point where you cant even reason with him – its his way or he doesn’t want to hear it. I think we do really like each other (well I do) but am I wasting my time and ignoring red flags?
9. August 2017
Ignoring red flags. That whole sex fiasco is a huge turn off.
Hi oloni, I fucked up. I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years on a drunken club night a month ago. Nobody knows about this but me, I’ve been feeling so guilty. I really don’t want to lose him, I’ve been hinting at marriage and I’ve done this to him. The hints worked, last night at diner he proposed to me. I said yes but the guilt of this is weighing on me. What do I do??
9. August 2017
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