Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi oloni, so I’ve put on a lot of weight in the last year and I think this has caused my boyfriend to gradually lose interest in me. He isn’t cheating or anything (I go through his phone when he’s not around lol 😂) but we haven’t had sex in a month and he hardly gives me compliments now. I even asked him what’s up and he always just says he’s tired or it’s been a hectic day at work. I know the solution is just lose weight but it’s so hard. When the weight gain first started he even offered to sign up to the gym with me, for some reason it made me mad and I took it as him calling me fat and we had a big argument about it . He hasn’t said a thing about my weight since and I’ve gotten worse. I’m not like morbidly obese or anything but I look bigger than before. My dilemma is how do I go about spicing up our relationship as I go through this weight loss phase lol. I really love him but I feel like I’m losing him because of this.
23. August 2017
Hey hun! Why not tell your boyfriend how you feel? The love or attraction shouldn’t totally go out the window because you’ve put on weight.
Saying that it’s also vital to KEEP your partner interested. Have you thought about getting a new hairdo, change of wardrobe.. yes lingerie too.
If you’re serious about losing weight why not invest in a personal trainer?
Oloni
Hi Oloni I hope you’re doing wonderful today. First, thank you for all you’ve been doing, empowering women about exploring our sexuality and most importantly not feeling ashamed about it. So my lil sister who is 17 is going off to college and I’d like to have all around sex ed talk with her and I also would like to take her to the clinic to get checked. My question, is it appropriate to take her without my parents consent? I know how 9ja parents freak out about topics like this but I wish someone had educated me on sexual health when I was her age
23. August 2017
I don’t think it’s inappropriate, you’re being an amazing older sister.
Oloni
Hey Oloni. I graduated from a Russell group uni in July with a 2:1 in pharmaceutical science and I am starting my dream job on Monday. 35k a year, lol. My boyfriend (who I’ve been with since I was in year 11) dropped out of one of those midlands inks after 1st year. originally his plan was to do an apprenticeship however this did not go to plan. 3 Years on and he is in the exact place he was when he dropped out. He lives at home with his mum, and only ever leaves to purchase marijuana. I do love him as he was my first everything however he’s become waaaay to complacent with where he is in life. He is living off his mother and is making absolutely no effort to find work. I have applied for numerous roles for him however he is always failing to go to interviews. Oloni I love this man with all my heart, however he is making no effort to get on my level. Everyone is telling me to help him grind but I am really out of options. Please help.
20. August 2017
First off OMG CONGRATS!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 You should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!!
The only way is up! With that said, you need to dump this guy. Immediately. In fact after you finish reading this, call him and advise you meet up so you can let his ass go.
Now please understand that i’m not saying this because of all your new success. If you were working some small retail job I would still have the same attitude towards this dilemma.
From what you have described you have tried to ‘build him’, but you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I’m sorry but he’s an embarrassment. How can you see your girl make serious moves and still have a shitty attitude towards your life. It’s the fact that he doesn’t even bother to go to interviews that you help line up…. wth?
You should be with someone who is as driven as you. You bring so much to the table sis, and sadly he doesn’t.
Now make that phone call.
Oloni.
Hi Oloni, I can relate so much to the girl who’s name was saved as ‘black’. I recently got a new job and when I started I met one of the guys who works in the sales department. Long story short, we started texting, but flirty banter then one day during work he sent a image of whatsapp of him in black face with the caption “get a guy that can do both”. I was so confused and didn’t know what to say so I didn’t reply. But once he’d realised what he had done, he messaged me saying sorry. I said it’s fine (I shouldn’t of, I know) then we just continued texting. We went out for a couple of dinners after that and everything was calm, but now we haven’t spoken in a while apart from work. I just don’t know what to do? Should I ask him what’s changed or just leave it?
20. August 2017
I’m sorry but this isn’t someone you should fuss over. He’s ignorant and should be left at the back of your mind.
Oloni
Hi Oloni! So I’m mixed race (half white english, half black african) my best friend of 15 years is white English. She’s had a new boyfriend for the past 8 months who she split up a month ago because he cheated. He’s white and a gypsy. I started to think he was racist as his tweets were mainly about muslims and other ethnicities And he came out with comments like ‘the thought of black boys around you at wireless makes me sick’ but he was always friendly with me. Since theyve split I’ve looked on his twitter and there’s so much racist tweets about Africans/middle easterns/muslims. My friend wants to get back with him but I feel like she would be disrespecting me if she did as I’m extremely vocal about my dislike towards racist people. Although I haven’t spoke about his twitter with her she must have seen it! I want to tell her my views on him but I don’t want to lose my friendshiHi Oloni! So I’m mixed race (half white english, half black african) my best friend of 15 years is white English. She’s had a new boyfriend for the past 8 months who she split up a month ago because he cheated. He’s white and a gypsy. I started to think he was racist as his tweets were mainly about muslims and other ethnicities And he came out with comments like ‘the thought of black boys around you at wireless makes me sick’ but he was always friendly with me. Since theyve split I’ve looked on his twitter and there’s so much racist tweets about Africans/middle easterns/muslims. My friend wants to get back with him but I feel like she would be disrespecting me if she did as I’m extremely vocal about my dislike towards racist people. Although I haven’t spoke about his twitter with her she must have seen it! I want to tell her my views on him but I don’t want to lose my friendship or make a its me or him situation? (She’s VERY stubborn) What would you do or say ? X
20. August 2017
He’s disgusting. Talk to your friend and let her know about the vile piece of shit, she has an ex. Also explain that if she does get back with him, you’d prefer if she keep you both away from each other.
I’d also hope you spend less and less time with her as I’m a firm believer in, your romantic partners being a representaiton of yourself in some ways. So I’m 100% sure she knows that he’s a nasty little cunt.
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