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Hi Oloni, hope you’re doing well beautiful. This is just a quick story on what happened to me last night, I have recently changed rooms in my home, my father passed away so I have taken his room which has a toilet built in, in the night my mother would use the toilet in my room because she has problems in her knee and struggles to go up the stairs. My room is practically a storage room because it’s temporary anyway so I have other family members coming in to grab stuff. My mum made it clear to all the men in the house that if they would like to retrieve anything from my room they are to either knock, or if I am asleep ask a female family member to retrieve the item. Last night I was sleeping semi naked – wearing a loose top with nothing underneath. I must’ve become uncovered from my blanket in the night. My brother in law needed to grab his toolbox and decided to walk in and grab it. I was unaware until the next day he and my mother decided to have a talk with me about sleeping semi-naked or naked in fact. Apparently it is not right for me to do it and I should stop immediately. I stopped and asked my mum “okay but why isnt he apologising for walking into my room like that. His first response was that i should never sleep naked in case anyone sees me. I argued back and forth on the fact thay he was TOLD by my mother. What hurt the most was that my mum agreed. So I’m getting in trouble for sleeping however I want in my own room and he gets let off for walking into my room without knocking to see if I was awake or asking a female member in the house to grab his toolbox. Why do we get blamed for shit like this?! Unbelievable
11. October 2017
For some off reason, particular cultures side with whoever is older despite being in the wrong. It’s a very sick mentality. Your mum even contradicted herself because, ageism. You should be entitled to sleep whatever way you want, whether this be fully clothed or nude. It’s your bedroom, your space, your privacy.
Have you ever thought about getting a lock on your door? You should.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. This isn’t even a question because I’d have to give way too much detail to formulate it. I just need to vent. I’ve been with my guy for about a year and four months. We live together. We love each other. But he refuses to acknowledge our relationship to anyone other than one of his (6) brothers and his best friend. He’s 51 and I’m 25 so a I can see why it might feel awkward but it’s gotten to a fairly serious stage and it’s just embarrassing for me when he denies our relationship to people who have clearly sussed. 🙄
11. October 2017
Why haven’t you left then?
Oloni
I’ve been seeing this boy for a while now and we’ve been getting to know each other on a personal level and I’ve really grown to like him. One thing I have noticed tho is that he can be kind of cheap sometimes and I’m the complete opposite. I’m not saying I waste money but I do like to enjoy myself once in a while because life is short. I would like to be taken out once in a while since I feel like we are building our relationship but he is yet to do that. I don’t know if it’s something I have to tell him to do but is it a bad sign because he is definitely not broke.
11. October 2017
How about you just have a conversation with him and express that you’d like to experience more with him.
It’s very easy love. Nothing major, people spend their money differently.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, let me explain the situation first. I’m white but my boyfriend of over a year is Ghanaian and my parents are really against it and dare I say racist, and I live with them because I’m 18, however i found i’m pregnant last week and i told my man but if i tell my parents i already know 100% that they WILL kick me out because they’ve said this before. what is the best thing for me to do in this situation?
11. October 2017
Heya hun! It’s SO sad that your parents feel this way, but right now, the best thing for you to do is keep calm, but also plan your next step.
Try seeking help from your council and see if you can speak to them about temp housing or the fact that you might soon be homeless. You can also try seeking help from the CAB here: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
Good luck
Oloni
Hi Oloni , just a short quick question. How long would you say you should be in the talking stage with a guy for?
10. October 2017
We don’t do talking out here, you do dating sis. Dating stage for me should be anything from 3-6 months.
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