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Hi Oloni, so I’ve messed up really badly and have been absolutely hating myself the past while. I cheated on my boyfriend of almost 3 years on my study year abroad 2 weeks before he visited me. The guy and I were pretty drunk and had sex. Afterwards i felt so disgusting and promised myself I’d never do anything of the sort again. I still have no idea why I did it. Anyway he visited me and i was terrfiied to tell him the whole time so I told him when he arrived home and he flipped out. I only told him that it was a kiss though. I regret it so much and want to continue on in the relationship and stay with this man forever, but I feel so guilty keeping such a huge secret from him forever. I love him and we have been best friends for 4 years now and have planned out our future together. However I’ll be studying abroad until summer and i don’t want to tell him the full story in case he really can’t understand or hear my side & be able to talk it out properly face to face. I know I messed up so badly and it made me see how much i value our relationship. Do I ever tell him? Is it best to keep it to myself and move forward and give him all the love i can? Please help
19. October 2017
Hey hun, you have to tell him. A half truth is never fair, he deserves to know what really happened or else your relationship will be built off a lie. It’s up to him to decide what he wants to do, not you. What you don’t want to be right now is deceitful. If you’re scared about his reaction then do it over the phone, either way he has to know.
Oloni
Morning Oloni, so recently after realising I’ve waste far to long on a fuckboy I decided to see how my hoe skills were except I’m not getting very far because every time I tell a guy there’s a few things I like to follow by such as making sure we are both clean by either showing each other recent results or by visiting the clinic if it’s been a while and by telling them what I like sexually and making sure they are ok with it all I end up getting told I’m being extra, Who do I think i am? And so on now I don’t feel I’m being extra by trying to protect both our healths and also by letting it be know that I like what I like so that we can both be satisfied but sis am I being extra?
19. October 2017
You’re not being extra, you’re protecting your health. You’re messing with the wrong ones hun, but I think you making that effort is positive. There are mature and responsible men out there, that won’t make you feel like this.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, My former fiance asked me to marry him and I happily accepted – he was the man of my dreams! However – he’s a bit of a finance nut – he gave me two choices: i) a ring or ii) some of his investment portfolio, which I would be able to call (withdraw the funds) after a number of years. Naturally, I requested for option i) and much to my shock, he suddenly withdrew his offer of marriage, accusing me of being “too myopic”. He pointed out that marriage was an investment like any other and not an item of consumption (& the portfolio he was offering to me was in the multiple, multiple of thousands). Heart broken but lesson learned!
19. October 2017
You’ll meet someone better, he dated you and proposed, just to do that?
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’m convinced that my girl’s best friend is on to me and she’s trying to move to me. She’s always kinda touchy whenever I see her. I thought she was just friendly but she says some flirty things. She always says stuff like ‘you treat [my girl] so well, I wish I had a bf like you’. She followed me on Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. My girl doesn’t have Twitter or Instagram so I thought she was just preeing but she’s started to DM me funny tweets and stuff. She even sent me one horoscope tweet and said our star signs would be perfect together. I replied saying me and my girl’s star sign are perfect together. When I told my girl she just dismissed it and said she’s just like that. What should I do? I don’t think she’s being a good friend right now and I don’t feel comfortable with the way she’s moving but her and my girl have been friends for years.
19. October 2017
Her friend is a bit too friendly. That’s not even okay. Ignore her, she’ll get the hint and piss off.
Also have another conversation with your girlfriend and let her know what you deem as inappropriate in a relationship.
She (gf’s friend) has no boundaries.
Oloni
Hey sis, One of my guy friends I’ve known for a while recently got a girlfriend. He’s invited me over to his for the weekend as I haven’t seen him in a while but I don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to go. I’ve known him way longer than his girlfriend and all but we’ve flirted in the past and I never want to be THAT girl. Do you think I should visit him or stay my ass home? Thanks xx
11. October 2017
Hmm tricky. But if you feel odd about it, just meet up and go out for lunch as mates.
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