Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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My ex sent me £500 prior to us breaking up because his account was in overdraft. The plan was for me to keep it for him and withdraw it the next time we saw each other. Right before we saw each other, he went out and I saw him dancing with his ex who he swore he would never entertain or speak to again. He was adamant that he disliked her. Should I still give him his money back or should I keep it as some form of compensation for the time I wasted with him? After all I did spend a lot of money on him 21. February 2018

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Hi Oloni, I need your help! I was at my boyfriends house at the weekend and went to use his computer. When I went to type something into the search bar, the first thing that came up was a cam girl website. He was sat next to me so I confronted him straight away and he says he sometimes watches free shows before watching porn. Now, I have no problems with him watching porn, but as we continued to talk about it, it turned out he was paying to interact with these girls and paid for pictures. I logged on to his account with him there and went into his inbox. He let me see everything and was very apologetic but I found messages where he was liaising with escorts. He insists he never met anyone and he just gets a thrill out of talking to them. He asked him if he would be ok with it being the other way round and he said no and realised what he’d been doing was wrong. I got mad and left his house. To me interacting with someone online sexually is cheating, especially when he’s paying for it. I thought he was my one and I saw a future with him. Everything else was perfect apart from this. I really don’t know what to Oloni and I really, really need your advice. Do I break up with him? I feel like a line has been crossed and I can’t trust him. 21. February 2018

I can’t tell you how to end your relationship. If you feel like there’s no future between the two of you, then perhaps you should move on. You might need a break to gather your thoughts. Maybe a conversation needs to be had in terms of boundaries on what you expect in a monogamous relationship and when it comes to pornography. If he wouldn’t like you doing the same thing, then the asshole knew he was doing something wrong.

Oloni

Oloni, I need your help I beg. My boyfriend’s semen is like battery acid. So bad I don’t even wanna go there often. How do I get him to change his diet, etc? 21. February 2018

Oh goodness! Well, you’re going to have to speak to him and tell him what it tastes like. If he changes his diet over a couple of months, there could be some improvements. It’s going inside YOUR mouth, so be vocal.

Oloni

God. I’ve been dumped and I’m utterly crushed, two and a half years down the drain and completely out of the blue. All the talk of the future wasted, the emptiness is real. The not knowing is fucking killing me. It’s been a couple weeks and I still cannot move on, there are reminders everywhere I swear it. What’s the best way to get over someone? I tried a rebound thing real quick and hated it all. Genuinely feel so at a loss and saddened. I’ve never been the one dumped before and this fucking hurts 21. February 2018

Hey love, sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. Myself and probably the people reading this will be able to relate, and it’s not always easy, especially if it’s out of the blue!

The annoying part is, you don’t wake up the next day and *poof* it all goes away, it takes time and effort from your end. Keeping yourself busy, working on who you are, spending time with friends and making a real effort to continue this cycle. Allow yourself to deal with the pain, so cry if you need to, talk to a good friend who can also relate. We’ve all been dumped before. Eventually you’ll notice that although you may miss them from time to time, the feelings will not be as strong. You have to be patient too!

Oloni

My partner constantly wants to know ‘who’. If I’m walking home from work “who are you walking back with”, if I’m having lunch in the office “who are you sitting with”, if people wished me happy birthday (example) “who wished you happy birthday”. It just seems like he needs to know everything. He also wants to know what I’ve spoken to someone about. If my friends message me, he would ask “who’s that?”, I’ll respond with who it is and then it ALWAYS follows with “what did they say?” without fail?! Is this normal? Because I don’t do it to him… 16. February 2018

That’s not normal, it’s suffocating. Talk to him and explain how you’re feeling. It’s incredibly annoying. Do you think there’s a reason he might be doing it? Have there ever been any issues in the past, where he’s had to question your loyalty, because wth??

Hopefully when you talk to him, you’ll see some changes.

Oloni

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