Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, I hope you’re well. I have a dilemma and I wanted to ask you because I know that you won’t ever judge me for my sexual kinks and fetishes. Here it goes, I want to eat my man’s arse but I’m scared to ask. I’ve always had an interest in eating arse but I’ve never done it out of fear of a guy being unclean but after taking a shower with my man, I’m convinced he’s clean lol. He has three separate sponges he uses to clean his face, body and private areas. I saw how rigorously he cleaned himself and I knew I would be fine doing the deed. I hinted to him that I like men’s arses and I would like to one day eat arse but his reaction made me say that I was just joking. I guess because we are still sort of early days, I’m not sure how to confidently ask. How do I bring it up to him that I want to try it? I hope you can help me xx
27. May 2018
Hey hun, you’d be surprised by how many couples are doing this. I think you should have a sex talk with him, whereby you both open up about your sexual desires. Ask what’s the kinkiest thing he’s done, or would like to do, then when he asks the same question back you share your wild thoughts lol.
Oloni
Hi oloni, ive spoken to a few guys who’ll talk to me for a few days or weeks and then they’ll disappear all of a sudden? Are they playing a game? Why do they do this?
27. May 2018
You could possibly be doing something without realising during the talking stage with these guys. Perhaps some self evaluation and talk to some male friends?
Remember that the dating game isn’t simple, especially in 2018 lol. You could be a great person, but they’re just simply not interested, so keep trying!!
Oloni
So I’m turning 23 and never had a boyfriend I only kissed one guy when I was 16 and I never really been on dates or anything. There is this guy that I like I found him on insta and we used to go school together I want to follow him but I’m just a bit nervous as I never had a boyfriend and never done anything sexual with a guy he might be put off or something lol.
27. May 2018
You’re over thinking, how about trying to create a friendship first. Also try to date other guys. Dating apps!
Oloni
Hi Oloni – My boyfriend told me that I’m embarrassing because I ask him to foot the bill for my meals out in front of his friends as passing comments when I’m feeling hungry. We split the bill all the time because money is tight for both of us, but am I being unreasonable by asking him to pay for food? I currently live alone and support myself, but he lives at home so has less financial responsibilities than me. He has gone as far to say that due to me asking him to pay for me, I am embarrassing and acting like a ‘broke’ girl because someone outside of a club wanted to get myself and a few friends into a club for free a few weeks ago because we are very attractive (ngl). He told me that this mentality I have makes me a golddigger and I shouldn’t rely on him to get me food and should be financially independent. He comes to visit me once or twice a week minimum and stays over – through which I provide everything we both eat and he doesn’t contribute to that. He said that because I have this expectation for him to provide for me says ‘a lot about my upbringing’ and said that because my dad passed when I was much younger, I don’t know how to conduct myself around his friends or the general public because I asked him to get me food and said that when I ask him to get me food in front of his friends, it looks like I can’t afford to feed myself. Since this occurred, I have asked for space and I am considering whether this man is right for me because I find him to be very stingy – I am a very generous and giving person and although his attitude with money has helped me structure my finances, I’m finding it hard to be generous with him. Am I being unreasonable by asking my boyfriend to pay for a meal on occasion? I don’t ask him for anything else, just his time. Thanks Oloni, I hope you reply xx
21. May 2018
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in asking your partner to pick up the bill. Perhaps it was HOW you did it in front of his friends that could have been the real issue.
I don’t like the fact that he tries to make you feel like you’re not financially independent, especially if you live on your own and take care of yourself.
You need to have a conversation before it ruins your relationship, and do it properly. Him mentioning your dad has nothing to do with the standard a lot of women hold men to, which is to PICK up the bill amongst other bills. It does not not make you a gold digger and FYI if you were, no shade.. but he wouldn’t be at the top of anyone’s list.
This is also why I say relationships are expensive. So, he’s around YOUR house and when there, he’s eating your food and not contributing, leaving your fridge empty and his mothers full?
He does sound stingy, but you need to explain this in a diplomatic way, because this could break down your relationship.
Good luck!
Oloni
I’m 17, my boyfriend is 40. How can I stop him feeling so guilty about my age when I’m the one consenting to everything, I pursued him, and I’m the one who kissed him first? Because I want him and I don’t feel bad, but his attitude is making me feel some type of way 🤕
21. May 2018
Hey love, you’re 17 and you shouldn’t be dating a 40 year old man. It’s not guilt he feels, he’s afraid of getting caught because he knows it’s wrong.
I hope you stop seeing him immediately as having a romantic relationship with someone of this age is incredibly dangerous.
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