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Hey Oloni. Since I got married I’m not getting horny anymore. We was celibate before and was wanting to have sex with him all the time now we had it I just don’t enjoy it and no matter how wet I am it doesn’t seem to slip in easily. (I can’t put a tampon inside either ) 🙁 What can I do 25. July 2018

This isn’t uncommon. I’ve heard from people who have been in a similar situation, by having a drop in their libido.

It’s best you speak to your partner and suggest seeing a qualified sex therapist who can help.

I really hope it works out.

Oloni


Hey oloni, my boyfriend asked for a hall pass after just a year of being together. We are very sexually adventurous and we have sex very often so I dont understand why he needs a hall pass. I asked him why he needed one and he could not give me a solid answer. He said he has not cheated since we started dating. I think its just an excuse to cheat and not feel guilty about it. We plan to get married one day but this bothers me because we have only been together for a year and he already wants to sleep with someone else. How can I be sure that he will be able to be with me forever without cheating? I told him i am not comfortable with it and we never spoke about it again but I can not get it off my mind. What do you think i should do? 20. July 2018

Would he be okay if you slept with someone else also, or is the hall pass for him alone? Because a lot of hetero men will scream hall pass or ffm threesome, but when this idea of you having your back blown out by another man is proposed, they lose their senses.

I too believe he probably wants permission to cheat, but he could also want to see if you’d eventually be open to the idea, you know him better than I do. Having an open relationship is not a new concept to many romantic commitments. In fact, non-monogamous relationships are usually more honest.

It’d be best to revisit the topic and hearing him out completely so you know exactly where his mind is at.

Also, being with someone for a year doesn’t mean that you can’t have a hall pass. They’re not strictly for people who have been with each other for 15 years and wanna spice things up.

Saying this, I still don’t trust his intentions, so talk to him and ask him.

As for your bf being with you forever and not cheating, I can’t tell you that, only he can.

Keep me posted.

Oloni

 


Hi Oloni, this guy I was talking to for months went into prison a few months ago and we didn’t speak the whole time, (I found out from a friend of his) he came out the other day and messaged me explained that the reason he hasn’t contacted me wa sbevause he felt bad for making me wait and he was facing longer than he thought. To me it just seems like if he cared he would’ve at least called? I don’t know if I’m being selfish by only thinking of myself here but im in two minds weather to keep tallying to him or leave him. I’d appreciate your advice 20. July 2018

Sis leave this man alone. He’s fresh out of jail, let him breathe and move on.

Oloni


Hey Oloni, my friend and I have recently decided to start dating. In my eyes he’s doing everything right however, we’ve been on two dates and he hasn’t made a move to try and kiss me, we went to the cinema we sat on the back row and he didn’t even try anything, but by the way he’s acting I can tell that he’s interested. Am I expecting too much too soon? 20. July 2018

He’s probably shy or not sure if he can make a move. Why not make a signal yourself? Invite him in for a kiss by the use of body language and pull a Megan from Love Island.

Oloni


When my boyfriend and I met; he was 100% aware that I was no prepared to have sexual intercourse until I was married. He knew this prior to us entering a relationship. It’s been 8 months and recently he has been making advances that are really inappropriate. What makes are relationship work despite the sexual tension is not escalating things that would lead to us having intercourse and recently it seems like he is ignoring these boundaries. I don’t want to come across as a prude cause I know that he isn’t a virgin but I don’t want things to continue as they are, as I see things escalating sexually in way that I wouldn’t want to until I’m married. My faith is really important to me. 20. July 2018

Hey my love! It’s actually annoying when you tell men one thing and they don’t listen. First, I think it’s amazing you’ve chosen to be celibate. It shows strength that I hope you’re empowered by.

When it comes to your bf, you either need to let him go or revisit the topic and have a very deep conversation about it, so he understands what lines not to cross when it comes to romantic intimacy.

I don’t know if you’re open to kissing, but against other forms of touching. Whatever it is you need to clarify it, so he understands and respects it. If you notice the same pattern, then it’s clear you’re not on the same page at all.

You need to be with someone who has the same values as you sexually and will not try to tempt you or even make you question your celibacy.

I really do hope it works out!

Oloni

 


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