Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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So I’ve been talking to this amazing Ghanaian guy (I am Nigerian). at first I wanted to cut him off because he is 5ft7 and I am 5ft6 and not physically attractive to him..but with time I’ve gotten to like him and sex is great. I have not brought him around my mom because I know she will talk shit (my siblings think he’s cool). I have dated tall and attractive guys but never worked out. I tried breaking up with him one time coz I felt I should not settle even if he’s a sweet man but attraction is not fulfilling and I think he should also be with someone that loves him wholeheartedly for him . I was in tears for days and had to apologize and he took me back. how much should your family’s opinion play in your life ? my mom and her 2 sisters have poor marriages I wish they can all just get a divorce..should I leave a man because he does not fit into society’s tall dark and handsome range ? he makes me so happy and he says i do the same. I still would have preferred if he was a bit taller and a little bit bigger than I am.. 25. July 2018

It seems like you’re forcing yourself to like him due to what you’ve seen the women in your family go through.

If you’re not attracted to him, let the brother go so a woman who will adore him can be with him. You’re wasting each others time and it’s not fair.

If attraction is a big box which needs to be ticked by you, then bear that in mind the minute you begin to get to know someone romantically.

As for what your family think, I don’t believe they should have a final say on someone you’d like to be with for good.

I hope you both find the happiness you’re searching for. Let him down easy.

Oloni

Hey Oloni. Since I got married I’m not getting horny anymore. We was celibate before and was wanting to have sex with him all the time now we had it I just don’t enjoy it and no matter how wet I am it doesn’t seem to slip in easily. (I can’t put a tampon inside either ) 🙁 What can I do 25. July 2018

This isn’t uncommon. I’ve heard from people who have been in a similar situation, by having a drop in their libido.

It’s best you speak to your partner and suggest seeing a qualified sex therapist who can help.

I really hope it works out.

Oloni

Hey oloni, my boyfriend asked for a hall pass after just a year of being together. We are very sexually adventurous and we have sex very often so I dont understand why he needs a hall pass. I asked him why he needed one and he could not give me a solid answer. He said he has not cheated since we started dating. I think its just an excuse to cheat and not feel guilty about it. We plan to get married one day but this bothers me because we have only been together for a year and he already wants to sleep with someone else. How can I be sure that he will be able to be with me forever without cheating? I told him i am not comfortable with it and we never spoke about it again but I can not get it off my mind. What do you think i should do? 20. July 2018

Would he be okay if you slept with someone else also, or is the hall pass for him alone? Because a lot of hetero men will scream hall pass or ffm threesome, but when this idea of you having your back blown out by another man is proposed, they lose their senses.

I too believe he probably wants permission to cheat, but he could also want to see if you’d eventually be open to the idea, you know him better than I do. Having an open relationship is not a new concept to many romantic commitments. In fact, non-monogamous relationships are usually more honest.

It’d be best to revisit the topic and hearing him out completely so you know exactly where his mind is at.

Also, being with someone for a year doesn’t mean that you can’t have a hall pass. They’re not strictly for people who have been with each other for 15 years and wanna spice things up.

Saying this, I still don’t trust his intentions, so talk to him and ask him.

As for your bf being with you forever and not cheating, I can’t tell you that, only he can.

Keep me posted.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, this guy I was talking to for months went into prison a few months ago and we didn’t speak the whole time, (I found out from a friend of his) he came out the other day and messaged me explained that the reason he hasn’t contacted me wa sbevause he felt bad for making me wait and he was facing longer than he thought. To me it just seems like if he cared he would’ve at least called? I don’t know if I’m being selfish by only thinking of myself here but im in two minds weather to keep tallying to him or leave him. I’d appreciate your advice 20. July 2018

Sis leave this man alone. He’s fresh out of jail, let him breathe and move on.

Oloni

Hey Oloni, my friend and I have recently decided to start dating. In my eyes he’s doing everything right however, we’ve been on two dates and he hasn’t made a move to try and kiss me, we went to the cinema we sat on the back row and he didn’t even try anything, but by the way he’s acting I can tell that he’s interested. Am I expecting too much too soon? 20. July 2018

He’s probably shy or not sure if he can make a move. Why not make a signal yourself? Invite him in for a kiss by the use of body language and pull a Megan from Love Island.

Oloni

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