Hi Oloni. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years. I hate to be this person, but I can’t help but find it quite bizarre that he’s never posted me on his social media, my main concern being Instagram. He has 1000+ followers on his Instagram and is a regular Instagram user, he posts pictures and stories religiously every single time when he goes out… and I take most of them lol. At first, I respected the fact that he just wanted to keep our relationship private, but after nearly 3 years I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to maintain the image of a single person. I’ve confronted him about this a while ago, and his response was along the lines of ‘its not that deep’. Alongside this, my friends often make passing comments about the fact that he hasn’t posted ANYTHING of me over our relationship. Not to mention other females (probably unknowing about the fact that he’s not single) often comment under his photo lovestruck eyes and ‘I see you, abs and that’ etc etc. I love him so much and don’t want to push him away with this petty issue, but in the same instance it makes me feel very sceptical, insecure and hurt that he chooses to post everything in his life but me. Is this something I should be worried about, or am I overthinking…
5. October 2018
Heya I understand where you’re coming from, but the truth is even if he did post you it wouldn’t make women back off. If he posts other aspects of his life and not you, I do see why you find it to be an issue. A photo here and there from birthdays or even Valentine’s Day isn’t going to kill him.
I feel like he dismissed you by saying “it’s not that deep”. If it’s not that serious, he’d do in a heartbeat and take your feelings into consideration, but he hasn’t, he doesn’t want to. Why? Is he entertaining other women? 3 years is a very long time. You’re his girlfriend, not a a woman who he’s in a situation ship with. Some girlfriends like to be shown off, boyfriends do too! It’s a very normal thing.
Approach the topic again with him and see what he says. If your boyfriend still chooses to ignore your minor request and it is VERY minor. He’s either a stubborn goat or genuinely wants to keep your relationship a secret on social media which is messed up.
Also, stop taking his fucking photos for him.
Oloni
Hi oloni, my boyfriend cheated on me while I was pregnant with one stupid Ghanaian girl. He told me about it and I’m trying to forgive him and let it go but I know he was in the wrong. Am not one of them females who attack the girl. But I feel to confront this girl and ask her questions. He told me she knew I was pregnant but it really does not make sense to me. But I know how he was also lying to me and could’ve have been lying to her but I don’t understand how you can be with someone who has a girl who is full in pregnant for him. I am trying to move past it because of the feelings I have and for the sake of our new family. What shall I do
5. October 2018
Well love, if he’s a cheater.. he’s also a liar. If you decide to speak to her, what will change. Is there a possibility that you’ll leave? Probably not. If you want to move on and heal, speak to him about the hurt that you’re going through or perhaps TRY to have a break from the relationship, cus it’s clearly keeping you up at night which isn’t healthy for you.
Oloni
Hey Oloni! After spending a year focusing on myself and keeping men out of my life, I’ve finally decided to jump back into the dating scene. Started talking to two guys off bumble, went on a date with one and going on a date with the other one soon. Problem is, the next day after my date he said that he would have taken me to his house, and even the day before our date he was speaking really sexual to me that I had to air him cause I was feeling really anxious about it all. The other guy talks speaks sexual to me too, when I told him I was going to wear a dress to our date, he said that he wants to see my bum popping out of it. Both say they want something serious but do they really? It doesn’t seem normal to me that you can want something serious but talk about sex and that so early
5. October 2018
Yeah, when a guy talks about sex so early on and leads with being overly sexual that’s usually what they’re after.
My boyfriend keeps bringing up his exs. He says he misses her company and friendship nothing romantic. Am I mad or is he mad please let me know what you think
5. October 2018
He’s hella mad. New boyfriend please.
Hi Oloni, I’ve been sleeping with my ex boyfriend (stupid I know) we were together for 3 years. Now I’m catching feelings again & he said he just wants to be friends so I’ve cut it all off completely ie not even speaking to him now because I don’t want to make my feelings worse and I want to get over him for good. Do you think we can ever actually be “friends” without me feeling a certain way again or will it always be there? I actually miss him as a friend. I’m so stuck 🙁 please help me
5. October 2018
Heya love! You’ve recognised the issue, so it’s good that you have distanced yourself. It’s a healthier decision which allows you to move on emotionally. You could become friends, you might not and while I get that you miss your friendship, it’s vital to let that idea go for now and focus on just moving on.
Once you’ve done that, after some time perhaps you could explore those options in terms of friendship.
Oloni
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