Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni. Lately my boyfriend has been pestering me about having anal sex and it’s the one thing I refuse to do with him. In the past I’ve compromised and we’ve tried different sex positions despite my initial apprehension so he thinks if he begs hard enough I’ll give in. However I refuse to waver with this one and it’s the one boundary I’ve upheld through our relationship. We’ve been together 2 years and hes been pestering since January so now I’m fed up. How do I get across it will never happen?
15. June 2015
A lot of men do this and believe that some women secretly like it, whilst that’s true, there’s still the rest who don’t or do it because they want to please their partner. If you’ve put your foot down, then put the other. Have a conversation and let him know how much it bothers you. ‘This has been on my mind…..’, ‘I dislike the fact that after numerous times…,’ – I hope it works out!
Hello Oloni I’ve got the worst dilemma, I recently transitioned my hair so I’m going natural. I used to watch all those youtube girls with their loose curls and my bf used to comment how gorgeous they look and he support me 100%. Howevee 3 months after my big chop my afro has emerged and it’s nothing like those youtube girls. I’m ok with this but he is not st all. When I had a buzz cut he said I looked stunning but now it’s growing out he says I look like a ‘starving african child ‘(I’m skinny). It’s making me insecure and I’m tempted to relax my hair and install a weave until it grows more. Should I do so? Or should I go natural despite his dislike? Really need help with this I’d appreciate any reply
15. June 2015
His comments are very offensive & you need to pull him up on how to speak to you. I know several women who have gone through the big chop and found it hard to maintan so decided to just get a weave/wig whilst still keeping their hair natural. The decision is yours I know we always want our man to find us attractive, but wear your hair how YOU want. Wear what makes YOU feels confident and sexy.
hey oloni, I’ve been with my boyfriend on and off for the last 5 years we’ve consistently been together for the last two years and are now planning on getting married. well atleast that was the plan. so my mother was recently diagnosed with something (don’t want to get in detail) and the last couple of months it’s been pretty rough for me. at times he seems caring and at times I don’t feel like he’s really supporting me seems like he downplays the situation but I feel if the roles were reversed he would be devasted and I would be more understanding. anyways recently her health has been a lot better so I don’t talk about it much but yesterday she was suddenly hospitalised and It was a lot to cope with. my boyfriend on the other hand had something organised with friends for maybe a week and I asked him to come and see me I needed him to be there for me and he simply told me he had plans. I was furious and really felt betrayed as I should be his priority after I blew up on him he changed his tune and decided he wanted to see me but at this point I wasn’t unintrested. he tyred again about 5 hours later but that just wasn’t good enough for me so I rejected his attempt. he then didn’t speak to me until this afternoon it was clear he just continued with his plans so I broke up with him do you think overreacting ?
15. June 2015
I hope your mother is doing well right now and I’m sorry to hear she was hospitalised. You needed emotional support from your boyfriend and that is understandable, but after he was willing to come you should have just let him. Your pride and stubborness trumped the shoulder you wanted so this was the result. If you told him not to bother, it’s not out of this world to expect him to go back to his original plans. Give it a few days, take care of your mother, keep yourself busy & see how you feel. If you think the break up was a bad idea, then speak to him, but use this time to figure out if this is who you’d like to marry.
I was on a double date with my friend and her man and ironically the chemistry between me and her man was stronger between me and him than with me and my bf. This double date was supposed to spice things up but it just turned me off my bf. My friend advised me her bf enjoyed it and wants to do it again and I find myself more excited about the fact I get to see her man again. Do I talk to my friend? Or suppress the feeling and focus on my man (who I genuinely adore, things have just been stale lately cos he’s grieving over a relative)
15. June 2015
You’re lusting over someone elses boyfriend. Cancel the date, it’s one thing to enjoy socialising with other couples it’s another when you’re counting down the days to see him especially when you have a partner. I don’t think it’s a good idea. If you and your boyfriend have you’re own issues solve them.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years now. For long time, we’ve been having intimacy issues, he’s lazy and doesn’t want sex as much as I do. I’ve asked people what I should do and most people say that I want it too often and that’s probably the problem but I get very angry when I don’t have it. Long story short, I cheated on my boyfriend out of anger and then found out I was pregnant about a month later. I’m pretty positive that the baby belongs to my boyfriend because the other guy wore a condom and didn’t even ejaculate because I told him to stop. Basically, I’m starting to feel bad and I’m not sure if I should tell my boyfriend or not.
15. June 2015
You have to tell him you cheated. If you weren’t being sexually satisfied you should have said something instead of going elsewhere. That’s not how a rationship works. If you are definitley pregnant take a DNA test despite who you think might be the father.
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