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Hey Oloni, I was with my ex on and off for about 2 years. Things didn’t work out due to constant cheating and a lack of trust..mostly on his part. Since we broke up in September we’ve slept together several times. It’s hard because deep down I still love him but I don’t want to just have a physical relationship with him. He reassures me that he still cares about me and always thinks of me but he just can’t commit at the moment. I know I should move on and just let him go but like I said I love him, but also I just can’t imagine being physical with anyone else. Every time I try and remove him from my life he finds a way back in. What can I do to get rid of him once and for all? Thanks
18. June 2015
You can’t imagine being physical with anyone else because it’s soon and you’re not ready. It’s also because you’re still messing with the past. Neither of you are giving each other the space you both deserve to move on. You’re sleeping with someone you had a rocky relationship with. Not a good idea. Try the no contact rule and keep yourself busy. Learn from this relationship, so you’ll be ready for dating in a few months.
Hey Oloni, I’ve been with my bf for a coule of years and we have kids, we both work and barely have time to spend time together. My problem is that he has a higher sex drive than me and gets quite upset about the lack of sex we have. By the time i see him in the evenings im so exhasuted and ready for bed im not in the mood. But generally i feel like my sex drive has dissapeared. how can i improve things and get it back? I love him and the sex is great once we get going, its just the getting there is so hard because I work longer hours than him and I do a lot more than him with the kids, home etc so im just constantly exhausted. I feel like our relationship is suffering.
18. June 2015
What you don’t want is to be in a sexless relationship. So although this suggestion might sound bizarre give it a go. Scheduling sex. A lot of couples do it, especially when they have different free times. Pick at least two-three days of the week which work for you both where you can both relax and enjoy a night of pleasure. If you have to put the kids to bed earlier than usual and crack open a bottle of wine, do so. You having a lower libido is very common amongst women, sometimes we’re up for it & sometimes our sex drive just doesn’t exist. There are ways around it, what turns you on? What makes you feel incredibly sexy?
Dear Oloni, I feel like I’m going out of my mind. Last month I broke up with the guy I was seeing for a year because he was not serious enough about me. We haven’t spoken since but everyday I can’t help check his twitter a few times a day, I even stalk his whatsapp and check if he’s online. I find myself using Twitter snapchat and instagram everyday in hopes that he’ll see (I rarely use them normally). I think about him all the time I re read our conversations everyday. I know I have feelings for him still maybe even love, but is this normal? Our relationship was very stressful and it depressed me, since breaking things off I’ve been a lot happier. But at the same time I’m miserable without him. How do I get over someone I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with? How do I come to terms with the fact that he lied and lead me into believe this was going somewhere for a whole year?
18. June 2015
You have to keep yourself busy and discipline yourself not to do these things. It’s nornal to want check an ex’s social media feed, but when you do it obsessively it becomes worrying. What do you enjoy doing? Who do you enjoy doing it with? There was life before this dude & there is life after.
Hey do you think a trip to the arcade is a great first date? I’m not too sure now since I’ll show my competitive side to this girl I like, which might put her off me
18. June 2015
Go to the arcade & relax. You’re not winning anything but some tickets.
Hi Oloni, i have been in my relationship now for 7 years. We’ve grown up together from high school and i love him very much. Although in the past he has cheated, and it’s causing serious problems as i do not trust him. Apart from when we are at work, we’re together all the time, but he is always on his phone and then shouts at me when i ask who he’s speaking to. At this stage i feel like giving up and walking away from the relationship, but i’ve put in 7 years and love him dearly. I’m so confused and don’t know what i want/need to do.
18. June 2015
You’re still finding it hard to trust him due to the cheating from the past. Seven years is a very long time, but can you commit to another 7 of uncertainty? That’s even longer. It’s either you talk about how it’s affecting you, or you walk away.
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