Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, this is weird doing this but I’ve been in a relationship with my girl for 3 years, I love her and everything but she has Sickle Cell severely. She’s been in and out of hospital a lot. I’ve always been there for her but lately I’ve been asking myself do I really want to carry this burden with her for the rest of my life ? don’t get me wrong she is a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and the most strongest person I’ve ever met but I just don’t think this is what I want for myself. And i don’t want to be the bad guy and break up with her because of it. What should I do ? Thanks a lot in advance
21. January 2017
Hey hun! Thanks for writing in. It sounds like this has been on your mind for a while. The right step to take is to talk to her an have an honest and open conversation. Remember, this doesn’t make you a bad person as you’re only being true to yourself. With time, it seems as though you noticed this isn’t something you’d be able to commit to.
Being in and out of hospital is never easy, but by letting go of her you give her the chance to move on and find someone who can accept what she’s going through.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. My boyfriend has many female bestfriends which doesn’t bother me because he puts me above all of them, except 1. He used to date her and people say that was his first love. He is constantly talking to her and he was first to find out about her being pregnant. (before the babydaddy) now the baby has been born, he’s oddly close to her and talks to her all the time. Even makes her his dp, but it’s strictly “bestfriends” he says. Should I be worried or I shouldn’t be jealous of someone who has a boyfriend and a baby…?
21. January 2017
This is so weird, cus anyone would think he was the baby’s father. I think you should honestly have a conversation with him and let him know that it makes you very uncomfortable. All you can do is communicate your feelings and leave the rest to him.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, Ive had 7 sex partners so far, and I have never gotten an orgasm from sex. Is it me or my sex partners. Ive creamed and gotten extremly wet and my partner would say that i came. But I wouldnt feel anything. I know what an orgasm feels like, giving them to myself. But I never get them from another person, whether it be oral or intercourse.
17. January 2017
Don’t you just hate when a guy tries to tell you that you came just because you get incredibly soaked up? Ah-nnoy-ing. This is very normal by the way. Lol. I think you might need to try some new techniques to help you climax, so perhaps longer foreplay, introduce a toy into the room?
Hey girl, I came across you on twitter and I think you’re the best person to help. So I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 years or so. He’s met my family ect and they all adore him. However, I have not met his. Did I forget to mention he’s Nigerian and I’m not? Yeah. Also did I forget to mention his mum is very traditional? Yeah. Well I’ve been to a couple of events where his family is around but he makes no attempt to introduce me. And it’s awks for me. We’ve spoken about it and he’s also let it slip that he told his mum about us but she didn’t like the idea as I’m not From their tribe.(she doesn’t know I’m not Nigerian) Sometimes I feel like I am being pulled along and being promised a happily ever after that might not happen if his parents decide against us being together. I sometimes feel like his dirty little secret. Should I end things now and save myself future heartache if we get in too deep ?
17. January 2017
Hey hun, thank you! I really do hope you mean you’ve been in a relationship and not ‘seeing’. Second, not all Nigerians have an issue with their children entering a relationship with someone outside their culture. I don’t want you to have the impression that all Nigerians feel that way.
Don’t break up with him..yet.. just have an honest and open conversation with him. You have every right to feel the way you do, being involved for three years and not being introduced to his parents is quite disrespectful. Hear his response and if he doesn’t seem to be getting it, come up with your own smart decision.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, so me and my girlfriend have been together almost 2 years now (I’m a lesbian btw) it’s coming up to me starting university soon, and I need to start considering my offers. I told her that if I didn’t get the offers I wanted from the uni’s in my home area, I’d have no choice but to move away really (even though I think a fresh start would be good for both of us) and I’ve obviously asked her to come with me if I do move. However, she is saying no because her mum doesn’t earn a lot of money, and she wants to stay home to support her mum financially which is understandable, but she’s almost 22 and her mum will never be able to survive without her if she’s always there. I don’t know if I should be pissed at the fact that she’s declined my offer to move away with me. She know shown much going to university means to me, and I don’t want to do it without her, but it’s really important to me and I’m so stuck on what to do. Please help X
17. January 2017
Hey hun, I think you both need to slow down, it’s a bit unfair on your part to ask her to move down just because you’re going away to university. If she feels like she wants to support and help out her mum, you have to respect her decision as your girl.
To me it sounds like you’re really scared of losing her, which is understandable..but you can still go off to university and make time to see each other. There are plenty of couples who have long distant relationships. You’ve been committed for two years, so hopefully you would have created a solid foundation for this to happen.
Talk to her about how you feel, but try to be considerate of her own responsibilities and commitments.
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