Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Shalom Oloni, I’m speaking to a guy in America, who’s really sweet, great chemistry, funny, clever, polite etc. we met on Facebook, he’s coming the UK soon (we FaceTime regularly) But his full-time job is conducting spiritual ceremonies for people like Juju (amongst other forms of African magic, praying to ancestors etc.) and I can’t tell if I’m being petty by letting his “career” put me off. I’m atheist and I struggle to take some of the things he says seriously. I don’t want to ruin the chemistry we have by making a deal of debating him about his beliefs, but I just wonder if he’ll ever grow up and do a real job and move into a proper home and out of the little studio he’s in. I want to live a life of opulence and class, and I’m not saying I can’t do that with him, but how can I take someone seriously if they’re out doing full-time spirit warrior. I just want to scream grow the fuck up, but it’s really not my place to tell him how to live his life. Am I being shallow by making a big deal of his “career”?
6. February 2017
I personally think this is really odd, but I can’t tell you who to date and you certainly can’t change him. It seems like you’re asking for a lot for someone who is only ‘speaking’ to a new person. If you don’t like where he lives and what he does for a living, leave him alone.
Oloni
Hi oloni, recently me and my boyfriend have been arguing loads because he spends looooads of time training for his sport. When he misses one training session, his friend says ‘you’re not serious, you go to your girls house instead of training’. I told him that his friends are too fast to chat and get involved too much. He gets pissed, I don’t wanna blame him because his friends always chat shit, but I do take it out on him.. saying ‘we don’t spend time together, it’s because your friends are too chatty’ I don’t know what to do, I told him I want us to have space so he can focus on training.. but neither of us want that. He doesn’t want anything to get between us but I feel like an extra piece of luggage
2. February 2017
Hey hun, if your boyfriend is trying to be serious about something that means a lot to him, it’s always important to make sure you’re being supportive. As for you boyfriend… his friends should never have power to speak about your relationship so he needs to check them. Stop arguing and try talking and listening, come up with an arrangement where you can both spend quality time with each other. It’s not that hard.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, my boyfriend and I have always had a great sexual connection, however last month he dismissed my nudes and didn’t seem interested on FaceTime. He usually initiates things first and always makes time for these things (seeing as he started uni in September). I made it clear that I was upset about being dismissed repeatedly and he explained that he just ‘wasn’t in the mood’. I find it strange since he’s always in the mood and it’s unlike him to dismiss me and his ‘responses’ seemed somewhat forced as he would only reply with an emoji. Do you think he was being satisfied by another female or am I just overthinking ?
2. February 2017
I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion of assuming he’s seeing another woman. Some men are very capable of entertaining two girls at the same damn time anyway hun. Since you’ve already spoken about it, give him a bit of space then try again. If nothing changes this might just be his nature towards you now.
Oloni
Hi oloni, love the blog and congrats on everything you do. Basically my girlfriend is making me feel like sex is a chore. She’ll just say I want sex I’m Horny give me your dick. So randomly before it was a turn on like it’s random sex but now it’s like oh here we go again. She doesn’t make any effort to turn me on so to say or have nice foreplay. I’ve spoken to her about it but nothings changed. What can I say/do to stop this. It’s putting me off sex with her sometimes I’d rather just bash one out.
2. February 2017
Hey hun, you’re going to have to have another honest and open conversation and explain how tired you are of repeating yourself. Listen to what she says and ask her, why she doesn’t make an effort. If nothing changes, it’s then up to you to decide whether or not you can deal with it.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I’ve been dating this guy for the past year and he is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. He always makes jokes saying he has another girlfriend and she is sexy blah blah. But when I get upset he says I should chill out that it’s only a joke. But this has been going on for a while now. He also makes negative comments about my weight I don’t know what to do anymore
25. January 2017
He sounds like an absolute douche. You explained you didn’t find his jokes funny before writing into me and he still continued… and wait.. he also throws jabs at your weight? You deserve so much better! I think the time you’ve spent getting to know this guy should end here.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!