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Hey Oloni! My boyfriend and I have been dating for about half a year now and we’ve never been out on a date night. I’ve suggested cinema, he’ll agree but it never happens. Valentine’s Day is approaching and I hate the thought that we’ll be staying indoors…
6. February 2017
You’ve been dating for 6 months and you haven’t been on a single date? Hun just book the cinema tickets on your phone and go to the cinema, the money you’ve both spent on tickets will inspire you to leave the house. Have a conversation with him and express how you feel.
Oloni
Hi oloni! Im so proud of everything you do
6. February 2017
Aww thanks.xx
Hi Oloni, I’ve been in a complicated relationship for over a year now (on and off) were always arguing and it doesnt help that i moved 200 miles away however he wants us to work out and be together. We had one off our break ups a few months back and i slept with some guy, i told him he was upset and told me not to do it again (i was single and ready to move on at this time) now were back together and he says he sees a future in our relationship but I slept with the guy again and i think i like the other guy even though his not my man but i dont want to lose my boyfriend that cares.. i feel guilty for wanting both
6. February 2017
Hun, why do you keep cheating? I’m so confused. You need to be on your own, because one relationship sounds dysfunctional and the other sounds like it’s just built off lust. Confess to your partner and just end this.
Oloni
Feeling very Sucidal Dear Oloni as i type this message tears are dripping down my eyes all i want to do right now is end my life because the pain is just too much for me.. I met this guy last year and we went out on a date everything seemed fine and he liked me and i like him too, by then i was a virgin so as we started talking more he told me how hard it would be hard to be in a relationship with me if i was a virgin. By then he was still talking to his ex of 2years because she still has feelings for him.. So the more we started talking to each other i started opening up to him, i told him that i was going to back home soon as my visa was about to expire soon and the only way i could stay here was if he married me or something. By then we had just met a few weeks ago so i guess that freaked him out he became distant for a while then he later came back(after 4days) apologized and said we should find another way for me to say here cause he cant marry me. So we began our relationship and 8weeks into it i had sex for the first time with him, i had always wanted to wait until i got married but i broke my rule because of him because i did not want to lose him and i felt there was no big deal. Our relationship was okay but the main issue we had was his ex she was always calling and sending messages and he kept entertaining her, i even asked him to block her and he refused because he said there was no point and i should trust and believe him when he says its me he loves because he is with me and not her.. This made me feel sad because i found it hard to believe he did not have feelings for her and i felt he cared more about her than me. She would call at every opportunity even though he told her he was now in a relationship. At some point he stopped talking to her because i told him i just could not take the disrespect anymore and then everything was fine for a while. Then last year He moved to a different city and we started doing long distance, as the days went by we just started having more and more problems, he would not text me often or his replies were slow, he was no longer calling frequently and that resulted in me nagging everytime because he was no longer giving me attention.. So three weeks ago we had another issue about him not texting etc and he told me that we should breakup because the distance has made him realize that maybe he does not love me like he thought he did and that if he truly did he would want to talk to me but now he does not feel like talking to me anymore.. He also said he is not really good with distance but when he was with his ex they did long distance for 6months.. I know its long distance cause we are not in the same cityy but we are still both in england .. He also said he realized there was no future for us as he is christian and i am muslim and he just cant marry a muslim, and neither of us are ready to convert to the other persons religion so we would just be wasting our time. I feel like the reason he cant marry a muslim is because of what his parents will say he is so scared of them especially his mum that he sacrifices his own happiness just to please her..But he keeps saying its not only about his parents but he wants his children to be christian too and thats why he can only marry a christian. I also realized that recently he started talking to his ex again and all these things are just breaking my heart i feel so tired, used, taken advantage of and i just want to die because my heart is broken beyond repair. If he knew he could never marry me why did he enter into a relationship he should have never given me hope, he should not have made me fall in love just to break my heart.. He came to see me recently i thought we could work things about but we had no solution, now he is saying lets not be in a relationship, lets take things slow, he wants to live the bachelor life for a while because relationships are stressful and he knows i am not happy in the relationship but yet he wants us to see each other when we can and then fuck. Why will i want to fuck someone i am not in a relationship with? I am so tired oloni i don’t know what to do anymore.. I just want to die and REST please help me
6. February 2017
I really think you need to be around your family and friends right now and if possible PLEASE email me separately.. but due to the nature of your dilemma, it’s very difficult for me to help you the way I wish I could. Relationships are never easy and a lot of them do end up leaving us in absolute pain. We have all been there. You need to give yourself time to get through this break up and understand that you’re strong enough to pull through. Please try to seek professional help as you need someone who is way more qualified and experienced to speak to.
Once again if you’d like a chat please email simplyoloni@gmail.com
Oloni
Shalom Oloni, I’m speaking to a guy in America, who’s really sweet, great chemistry, funny, clever, polite etc. we met on Facebook, he’s coming the UK soon (we FaceTime regularly) But his full-time job is conducting spiritual ceremonies for people like Juju (amongst other forms of African magic, praying to ancestors etc.) and I can’t tell if I’m being petty by letting his “career” put me off. I’m atheist and I struggle to take some of the things he says seriously. I don’t want to ruin the chemistry we have by making a deal of debating him about his beliefs, but I just wonder if he’ll ever grow up and do a real job and move into a proper home and out of the little studio he’s in. I want to live a life of opulence and class, and I’m not saying I can’t do that with him, but how can I take someone seriously if they’re out doing full-time spirit warrior. I just want to scream grow the fuck up, but it’s really not my place to tell him how to live his life. Am I being shallow by making a big deal of his “career”?
6. February 2017
I personally think this is really odd, but I can’t tell you who to date and you certainly can’t change him. It seems like you’re asking for a lot for someone who is only ‘speaking’ to a new person. If you don’t like where he lives and what he does for a living, leave him alone.
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