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Hey Oloni, I’m so lonely. Even writing this I’m holding back tears thinking about how lonely I am. I have a 3 year old child and everything I do is for her. I’m a single mum and if I’m not at work I’m with her. I just really want male company to start that road to marriage but how and where. Do I allow them to chat me up while I’m with my child or continue being offended? I don’t have friends to go out with to a bar or to do things with. What do I do? Where do I go? I’ve tried tinder, twitter, Instagram but never get past first couple of dates because I’m always flaking on them which I make no effort to not do, because I can’t imagine going further with them. I’m so scared I’m going to end up like my mum; after she had the courage to leave my dad I never saw her with another man and even now she sees my sadness and tells me don’t end up lonely like her. It’s gotten so bad that I cry soon as I get home, if I’m home alone I cry even more. What’s wrong with me??
5. April 2017
Hey love! I really wish I could give you a massive hug right now, but I need you to be strong… not only for yourself but for your child. You seem extremely overwhelmed and scared because of what you saw your mother go through and you’re starting to panic.
I need you to take a breather and to also realise, that everything you want and desire can totally happen, you just have to want it for the right reason. Don’t focus on just wanting a guy in your life, but a good guy, a sensible guy, one who is right for you and will love your child as his very own.
Give yourself time to meet one and do not worry if it doesn’t go past a couple dates, that’s just how dating works. If you ever do want to have a chat, contact me here so we can talk privately.
Hey Oloni, my boyfriend has a small dick and I don’t think he can dick me down the way I want him to. What should I do? +he’s not even humble about it, he acts like a big man on road but I know his secret.
5. April 2017
Hmm, it seems like you’re just trying to shame him. If he’s not pleasing you, figure out ways, that will help make sex more enjoyable.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. Some of my family members and ppl around me have been making negative comments about the fact that I haven’t had my first kiss and have never been in a relationship before. I’m almost 20 years old, I live at home and I’m in my second year of uni. I’ve never really had a proper friend nonetheless a boyfriend before because I’m really awkward and I’m starting to feel really down about it because lots are ppl around me are saying that I’m stuck up and that I’m going to die alone if I don’t change. I want to make friends and be in a relationship but I’m not quite sure how to go about it. I just feel rlly left behind now and like a loser because I haven’t had a romantic/sexual experience yet. Can you pls give me some advice on how to start?
5. April 2017
Hey love, thanks for writing in and I hope I’m able to help. If I’m honest, I think you should try creating friendships first instead of worrying about romance. One step at a time, right? Luckily we live in a digital age, where friendships are created on social media or apps. If you’re in university why not try starting there first? Join a society, plan meet ups, go to different places. I think once you work on creating platonic relationships, the rest will become easier.
As for you family members who keep making negative comments, I believe it’d be useful if you had a serious conversation with them, to let them know you don’t appreciate what’s being said.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I feel as if I’m the one having to pursue sex all the time recently with my boyfriend and I’m not some sex addict but I feel as if he can go without it for days and I cant, especially when we used to have sex everyday/multiple times. Also, he’s no longer giving me head and hasn’t done for weeks now, it’s always just using saliva to make me ‘wet’ so how do I bring this up?
5. April 2017
Hey hun, you have to talk about it. I always say, if you’re able to have sex with someone, then surely you should be able to do the most basic thing and communicate. Ask him what’s going on an why there’s a slight disconnection in the bedroom. It could be a phase, it might not, but the best thin to do is address everything, after all he is your boyfriend.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been seeing this guy for 4 months now. I’m in the midlands because of uni and he’s in London, we talk every single day and see each other at least twice a month. We’ve made it very clear that even though it isn’t official, we aren’t seeing anyone else other than each other. In the beginning (before we had sex) he was so keen to take me on dates and drive up to my uni but ever since we’ve had sex he’s stopped offering. Every time I see him we’re chilling in his car…which often leads to sex. He does have a full time job so I understand that he’s very busy. He doesn’t even want to come up to my uni anymore cos the drive is “too long”. How do I voice my concerns without sounding petty ?
5. April 2017
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