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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hi Oloni, I’ve been seeing this guy and we both really like each other however I’m not sure whether I can progress into a relationship because he has a child. Yes I know I knew that from the beginning and the child doesn’t bother me, however, I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that this bm will sometimes stay with at his parents house when it’s time to bring the child around. My feelings have really grown for this guy but I can’t help but think he must have some feelings for his bm because they were together at some point. I don’t want to end it cause we’ve been talking for over 6 months now so it would be a waste of time but at the same time, I’m feeling very insecure about the situation I’m in. 7. April 2017

Hey hun, there are only two options. You either stay, talk to him about it. Or leave, before you spend any more time in this rship. Also, 6 months is REALLY not that long…

Oloni


Hi oloni,I’ve been in a relationship with a great guy I met last year…I never saw myself settling with him,so started cheating on him with an old flame…he caught me,I lied about the situation surrounding everything, six months later I got drunk he asked me again and I told him the whole truth…After he caught me the first ,I stopped seeing the other guy and things were going smoothly now he knows the whole truth …he hasn’t left me but I feel he’ll leave me soon…he loves me and now I love him as well….I lied because I didn’t want to hurt him but he says I don’t love him…I don’t know why I lied the first time…how do I save my relationship…I want a future with him 6. April 2017

Oh gosh! Well, first things first.. if you weren’t sure about him in the beginning you should have spoken to him about it. It seems like he was just an option to keep you busy, till you could decide what you truly wanted. If you did love him, you would have respected him enough to stay away from your old flame. If you want to repair your relationship you’re going to have to be patient, because only time will tell. If he chooses to forgive you, then you’re both going to have to work on rebuilding the trust between the two of you. The thoughts going through his mind right now are, ‘what else has she lied about?’.. he’s probably questioning the whole commitment, so you must understand this. It won’t be settled over night, but the outcome for this whole scenario will eventually let you know what he wants.

Oloni


Hi oloni, I’ve been married to my husband for 6 years and our sex life is great. Recently we’ve been experimenting with new things and we talked about having a three some, I think it’s a great idea then I remembered some of the stories about men cheating/chasing the other party after 3somes! 😂 What if it ruins everything I don’t want things to get weird! 5. April 2017

Hey hun, threesomes can be incredibly fun for some couples, but only when there’s an understanding for the agreement and set up. I don’t think you should jump straight into it yet since you’re having doubts, so take some time to truly think about it, till you’ve come to a proper decision

Oloni


*T/W SEXUAL ABUSE* Hey oloni, so last weeks bckchat triggered me like mad. 3 years ago I was raped by someone from my uni and have never spoken about it until recently. I was drunk on the night and never consented but the guys still continued. And even texted me the next day apologising. I try not to let it get to me but at times I find myself thinking about it and the fact he’s carried on with his life like nothing ever happened really bothers me. What do I do to truly move on from this. I don’t want to go to the police because I don’t want to ruin his life, even though he did hurt me 5. April 2017

Heya hun, thank you or messaging me, even though it’s anonymous it’s still extremely brave of you. I know you said you don’t want to, as it was 3 years ago, but you should still go to the police. It’s extremely important that it is reported, because sadly he can do this to someone else. I also think you need to talk to someone, you love and trust…so perhaps a good friend. Try seeking therapy as I feel like a professionals guidance is always best. If you ever need a chat. you’re more than welcome to email me simplyoloni@gmail.com

Oloni


Hey Oloni! My bf and I have been together for 7 months, last month he suddenly decided he has to properly focus on his faith again and take it seriously, so he wants to stop having sex until we get married. It was not an issue previously, he had no qualms with sex before with me and in his previous relationships, as far as I know. I feel like whenever I try to speak to him about it and disagree, he acts as if I’m trying to diverge him from God and his values. I have been very supportive in going to church with him and helping him on his journey but our views are starting to differ so it is harder and harder. What’s your take on this? Thank you! x 5. April 2017

Heya love! Ooh this is an interesting one. I feel as though when someone makes a change to their sexuality which includes religion, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. You either stay and accept his new journey or leave respectfully and thank him for the last 7 months.

Oloni


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