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Hi Oloni, I’ve been unofficially dating this guy for 3 months and we’ve been having sex during that period. I just found out that I’m pregnant, I told him and he had been really cold since. He said he isn’t ready for a baby and baby drama and basically wants me to get rid of it. I really don’t know what to do about this issue though because while I want to keep it, I feel so alone right now and I don’t want to deal with baby daddy drama for the rest of my life as he really doesn’t want anything to do with me again. Please I need some good advice.
17. April 2017
Hey hun, thanks for taking your time to write into me. It’s important that you find someone close you can also talk to about this. So perhaps a sister, a good friend or an aunt? It’s clear how he feels towards this new situation, so right now I think it’s best you think about yourself and your pregnancy. No one can tell you what to do with your body, just make sure you’ve had a good think about your options. If you know that you want to keep your pregnancy, then do so. I think it’s best you also meet with a nurse who can also guide you when making a final decision.
Oloni
Oloni, my boyfriends phone broke so I gave him my old iphone 6 to use temporarily until he gets a new one. Then he was using it in front of me and i saw he had Tinder downloaded onto the phone i gave him. I asked him why he had it and he said he didn’t remember downloading it and was adamant about it and then deleted it instantly without opening the app. I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day and he belittled my feelings saying “Are you seriously upset of tinder , are you that insecure”. Eventually I just shoved it to the back of my mind, he kept the phone and changed the password. Oloni it’s still on my mind everyday especially when i’m not with him i’m wondering if he just re downloaded it. He also has a new number saved as “P7” who keeps contacting him and he claims it’s his mother’s new number but i struggle to believe that now. Oloni am I being paranoid, do I confront him further, do you think he’s lying to me? Please advice me on what to do I’m so upset
16. April 2017
Hey darling, thank you so much for writing in! You did and extremely nice thing, by lending him your phone, but his time is up. He’s disrespecting your kindness. He’s gas-lighting you. Now gas-lighting is a form of manipulation, it’s done when someone causes you to doubt your own sanity. So when he was pretending that the holy ghost downloaded Tinder on to the phone you lent him, then proceeded to ask if you were ‘that insecure’ after acting like he didn’t know how it got there.. he was was being manipulative.
You’re not paranoid, you have every reason to have this at the back of your mind. Bring it up with him and do NOT allow him to toy with your mind and get your phone back.
Oloni
Hey Oloni long time fan here, love what you’re doing!! This is a quick one. I’m currently talking to one guy he’s nice and all but wants to take everything slowwww. Now I’m a grown woman with needs. There’s this other guy I’ve fancied for a while we used to have casual sex but we became distant after a not talking for a while. We recently followed each other on socials, he doesn’t really view my snaps and we chat once in a while. The thing is he gave me some good ass sex lol! Should I make a move & try rekindle the sex flames or wait for this other guy to come around or do both 😉 lol
15. April 2017
Hey hun, I’m sure you’re gown and you’re also single. You can make you’re own sex decisions lol.
Oloni
Hi Oloni,my best friend and I have been having sex for years and literally no one knows apart from us two, even at times we’ve both been in a relationship we would still continue. His girlfriend isn’t very fond of me but I truly don’t care, but I’ve met someone who I’ve considered potential and he’s very serious, I feel like before me and him get serious I really want to tell him the truth about everything and also end my sexual relationship with my best friend. What advice could you give me
15. April 2017
Do you really need me to tell you what to do…
Hi Oloni, after the death of my brother I was in a bad place and in hindsight blamed my relationship with my boyfriend. I cheated on him with an older guy who in hindsight probably exploited my vulnerability. I told my boyfriend and he ended it. I really want to get back with him but he says he can forgive me but can’t be in a relationship with me again. We are still officially living together and are in the process of moving out. Although hes staying at a friends house he still wants to be friends. He asks how I’m doing often and still attempts to help me make important decisions. Once I’ve moved out should I try the no contact rule? Do I have right to even though I cheated? What should I do?
15. April 2017
Hey love! I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your brother and what you’ve been going through. Sometimes situations that we’re going through influence some bad decisions, but life is all about moving forward and learning. Your ex seems to be understanding, but there’d be nothing wrong if you decided to do the no contact rule. If you feel as though the NC rule will help you move on, then why not? If friendship isn’t what you’re after you can respectfully let him know, then focus on yourself.
Oloni
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