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Oloni, I’ve been with my bf for a long time. We’ve never really had any issues and we get on really well. Recently he’s been texting this girl, I read a few of the messages (which I hate doing) and it’s just constant all day everyday even whilst he’s with me (we live together so spend a lot of time with each other). I am constantly seeing her name flash up on his phone and he’s been acting really shady about it, she’s really flirty over text saying she wants to get to know him more and he’s not saying no. I want to confront him but don’t want him to know I’ve gone through his messages. I’m so upset about the situation, what do I do?
21. April 2017
Tell him what you saw. You can’t pretend you haven’t seen the messages. Just let him know and explain how you dislike it. Yes, you shouldn’t have gone through his phone, but he shouldn’t be entertaining women who are flirting with him.
Oloni
So I’m gunna try & make this short & sweet. I want to know how many your opinion on how many coworkers is it okay to sleep with within the same company? It’s a small business company with about 30
18. April 2017
Lol whatever you deem is acceptable just be safe.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and every 2 weeks or so we argue and don’t talk to each other for 2 or 3 days, he always goes in a mood with me when i interact with men on the tl or mention another guys name it honestly makes me feel like shit and i cry myself to sleep sometimes over it, what should i do? is it worth staying in this relationship? what can i do to stop this petty arguing?
17. April 2017
Hi Oloni, I’ve been unofficially dating this guy for 3 months and we’ve been having sex during that period. I just found out that I’m pregnant, I told him and he had been really cold since. He said he isn’t ready for a baby and baby drama and basically wants me to get rid of it. I really don’t know what to do about this issue though because while I want to keep it, I feel so alone right now and I don’t want to deal with baby daddy drama for the rest of my life as he really doesn’t want anything to do with me again. Please I need some good advice.
17. April 2017
Hey hun, thanks for taking your time to write into me. It’s important that you find someone close you can also talk to about this. So perhaps a sister, a good friend or an aunt? It’s clear how he feels towards this new situation, so right now I think it’s best you think about yourself and your pregnancy. No one can tell you what to do with your body, just make sure you’ve had a good think about your options. If you know that you want to keep your pregnancy, then do so. I think it’s best you also meet with a nurse who can also guide you when making a final decision.
Oloni
Oloni, my boyfriends phone broke so I gave him my old iphone 6 to use temporarily until he gets a new one. Then he was using it in front of me and i saw he had Tinder downloaded onto the phone i gave him. I asked him why he had it and he said he didn’t remember downloading it and was adamant about it and then deleted it instantly without opening the app. I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day and he belittled my feelings saying “Are you seriously upset of tinder , are you that insecure”. Eventually I just shoved it to the back of my mind, he kept the phone and changed the password. Oloni it’s still on my mind everyday especially when i’m not with him i’m wondering if he just re downloaded it. He also has a new number saved as “P7” who keeps contacting him and he claims it’s his mother’s new number but i struggle to believe that now. Oloni am I being paranoid, do I confront him further, do you think he’s lying to me? Please advice me on what to do I’m so upset
16. April 2017
Hey darling, thank you so much for writing in! You did and extremely nice thing, by lending him your phone, but his time is up. He’s disrespecting your kindness. He’s gas-lighting you. Now gas-lighting is a form of manipulation, it’s done when someone causes you to doubt your own sanity. So when he was pretending that the holy ghost downloaded Tinder on to the phone you lent him, then proceeded to ask if you were ‘that insecure’ after acting like he didn’t know how it got there.. he was was being manipulative.
You’re not paranoid, you have every reason to have this at the back of your mind. Bring it up with him and do NOT allow him to toy with your mind and get your phone back.
Oloni
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