Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
My girlfriend doesn’t find herself attractive and thinks i’m lying when I tell her she’s the apple of my eye and my world, well not lying but she doesn’t take it seriously, we spoke about it and I found out that its due to past relationships the guy was generally unfaithful which caused her to question whether if it was because she was unattractive, I think she’s the most beautiful girl I know, how do I get her to se what I see?
22. June 2017
I think it’s beautiful you’ve come to me for advice on how to build up your girlfriends confidence.
First thing I will say is to be patient, her self esteem and confidence issues can’t be worked on over night. As her boyfriend continue speaking life into her in various ways. Tell your girlfriend what you find beautiful about her and not the typical ‘i love your smile’ lol! Although that is sweet, express something she probably thinks you’ve never noticed before.
Talk about how beautiful her personality is too! It’s important that you let her understand that it’s what’s inside that matters most.
Go on planned/surprised dates, listen to her.. show her you appreciate her.
Oloni
I’m basically dating this guy for 2 years now he’s a great person, but im also sleeping with this other guy. My boyfriend gave me one freebie to sleep with him cause i had unfinished business with him and I’ve told my boyfriend I’m in a open relationship although i don’t think he’s serious. He knew about the first time I slept with him, but he doesn’t know i still do it. The guy is basically my fuck buddy. I’m not saying my bf isn’t enough for me cause he can put it down in the bedroom…i don’t wtf is wrong with me.
22. June 2017
You clearly like sexually exploring with more with the other guy. Perhaps you should try teaching your actual boyfriend what you like and desire innthe bedroom. It’s very common to be sexually compatible with someone and not totally there with another..
Oloni
Snapchat is the devil! I recently discovered that my “boyfriend” has been talking, flirting with females on snapchat for months and has mastered the art of hiding it really well. He saves their names as Team Snapchat and his family members so all these months I never clocked on when they came up on his screen. I found out by typing names into his phone when he was as asleep. Oloni when I confronted him he flipped out at me for invading his privacy and we ended up fighting over that instead. He says he’ll give me a couple days to “cool down” but Oloni I’ve tried and don’t know how to stop feeling cheated, used and upset. We have BOTH invested so much in this relationship, and we’ve even got a Baecation coming up in 2/3 weeks. Please please could you give advise on what I should do and how to move past the hurt feeling x
22. June 2017
Woah. Well first.. thanks for that Snapchat hack. I’m sure plenty of women who should not be going through their mans phone will appreciate it.
Back to the dilemma… he’s clearly manipulated the situation and he’s lame for doing so. Yes, you were wrong for going through his phone.. but it certainly doesn’t trump his inappropriate actions. Do not fall for this. You both do need a breather, and when you do speak next explain your thoughts on his behaviour. How are you supposed to trust him again?
As for your holiday together.. if i were you, I’d look into trying to getting my money back. Why would you want to be on holiday with someone who has gone out of their way to save women on snapchat as ‘team sc’ and family members? It shows his actions were premeditated. Nah sis.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months and we live together. Throughout our relationship he hasn’t bought me a lot of gifts or anything and doesn’t take me out on dates much unless I suggest it. I really want to feel appreciated and for him to buy me gifts from time to time even if its something small. What should I do because I have tried to talk to him before but still nothing has happened.
22. June 2017
Why are you living with someone you’ve dated for 10 months? He’s gotten comfortable. Move out and tell him how you feel again.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, I have been seeing my gf for 5 to 6 months now. At first she started off very sexually active and would openly discuss how she feels about sex etc. As time has gone on she has made sex more and more awkward as she gets in bed and turns her back to me most nights. It has become to noticeable to me that we very rarely have sex when she is sober, which is also now starting to bother me. Not sure how relevant it is but she always talks about her ex, even if it is to curse him out…………I try to subtly ask if their is an issue with sex and she always says its fine, but it obviously isnt……..what should I do?
15. June 2017
Try sitting her down and mentioning everything you’ve noticed, she could be going through stuff, so it’s important to try your best to have a conversation. It’s also common for women to have a libido that changes quite a lot.
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