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Hi Oloni, desperate need of your help. My boyfriend and I of around 8 months have been going really well so far. But yesterday He went through my phone while I was asleep and read through all my private messages etc, there was a dm from a guy I was seeing when I was 16 (I’m 21 in three weeks) all it said was “what’s your snap” to which I have it to him. My boyfriend now knows this and seems to think it’s a terrible thing I have done. There has been no interaction with me and this boy at all. He then proceeded to end things with me because he said he’s been through similar situations with his ex but he would find out worse things than she let on in the beginning. He seems to think I’m doing the same when hand on heart I have been so loyal to him, he also used this reason as a scapegoat to tell me that he feels things have moved to fast and his feelings for me have “levelled out”. Is there any way of mending this as I really have invested so much into this relationship. Thanks xx
16. July 2017
Hey love! Thanks for writing in. Your boyfriend is allowing his past relationship to affect his new one with you. All if this is just a misunderstanding and something like swapping snap names should not be a big enough reason for him to hesitate.
He also shouldn’t have gone through your phone it’s an invasion of your privacy.
Try to see if you can have a conversation where a compromise can happen.
Oloni
He doesnt care about my orgasm after 5 yrs together. I havent ever nor will I be unfaithful but its really starting to frustrate me. We have spoken about it, I tell him what will work… but its all too much effort for him.
16. July 2017
Then now is the time to seriously make a decision on what you want romantically. If your partner doesn’t care about your orgasm can you really stay committed to him?
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I have a very similar issue to that girl with the dildo problem with her boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. I’m away for university a lot which means we don’t see each other a lot . He’s 3 years older than me and has his own place and so I recently went to see him. So I was looking through his stuff as he went out (boredom lol) and saw that he has a sex doll. It’s quite similar to that booty blaster that was all over twitter couple months ago. Knowing he owns one has made me feel extremely uncomfortable and unattractive. The doll is white and has a very big bum, whilst I’m black and fairly thin. And it’s causing a lot of friction between us because he won’t get rid of it. To me it feels like cheating and I want him to get rid of it but it’s so weird as when I saw that original dilemma about the guy who was upset about his girlfriends dildo I felt conflicted. All the women who responded said he should just get over it and he’s very immature but I feel like I’m in the exact same situation but I can’t get over it. What do I do, I don’t want to end it because of this Any advice will help
12. July 2017
Thanks for writing in love. I think its unfair to treat the kinks of men as if they don’t exist. If that’s what he’s into, then you have to accept it. Although women expressing their sexuality has been frowned upon for many years.. sex toys for women are more normalised in comparison to men. Instead of comparing yourself to a bit of material, why not ask him questions about the toy? Ask him about his other kinks and instead create a conversation with him about sexuality.
Hi Oloni,I dated this guy with a girlfriend and I just found out he went through my texts with him and deleted the raunchy texts he sent me,this made me pissed and now I’m tempted to rat him out to his other girlfriend (I would never have thought of doing that in the first place),what do I do please?
12. July 2017
Yeah, just let this go. Be glad you found out the truth and just distance yourself from the whole drama. Chances are, he’ll probably cheat with someone else and get caught properly.
Oloni
What do you do when tell a girl you’re not romantically interested in her & she says she’s going to tarnish your name within our mutual extended circle? She’s already befriending girls she hated to get close do and as she said. Should I fight fire with fire or sit back and let the fake expose herself?
12. July 2017
What a nasty person! Wow. I think you should tell your close friends what has happened, then ignore her. She’ll eventually get bored and hopefully, do one. There’s no reasoning with these type of people.
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