Hey Oloni, I really hope you reply this time 🙏🏿. I’ve been in a relationship for 5yrs and our dates have consisted of staying at home, going out to buy food to and then bringing it home. Or if we do go out on dates I end up paying for. I’ve been giving my boyfriend allowances for the past 5yrs and is still on going. He’s constantly talking about pulling his weight but that’s all… nothing from him. I’m beginning to lose interest to top it all he’s a spendthrift a serious one at that. I have to lie these days to tell him I haven’t eaten when I have cos I might feel bad and have to send him money. He makes no effort to save nothing. I also need someone to take care of me and pamper me. Oh I’ve tried having this conversation where he says he will pull his weight or end up making me feel worse than I already do. I really don’t know how to handle this.
17. July 2017
Oooh sis! Five years? Why have you stayed with someone who’s so financially irresponsible?
This isn’t okay! You need to find the courage to leave because it’s clear things will never get better. I can’t believe you’re giving this dude an allowance, he’s seriously taking advantage of you and it’s not okay.
Relationships cost money, but he’s making a bank out of you.
Don’t you believe you deserve better? There are guys out there who are ready to tell you to put your purse away when you try to pay… but you’re here steady chilling with him?
Sis.
A part of me says you probably tried to buy his love for the sake of saying you have a man.. but now it’s become too much.
You know what you NEED to do.
✂️✂️✂️✂️
Oloni
Hi Oloni my boyfriend took his bestfriend virginity. As he was the only person she trusted to do so. They have not had sex again but are still very close. Anything wrong she runs to him. When me and him are together it’s like she knows and she will interrupt asking for really basic advice on really basic situations. One time we was at the cinema together the phone rang and he actually got up went outside to talk to her. How do I nip this in the bud without seeming jealous of their creepy friendship.
17. July 2017
Their relationship is super creepy. I should write a book on how to get your man to lock off inapro friendships cus I receive so many similar dilemmas.
Okay, first of all you need to TALK to him. Unless he’s ‘special’ you shouldn’t have to spell out why their friendship is not okay. Paint the opposite picture for him and ask how he’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
Another woman should never make you uncomfortable in your own relationship… especially one he’s been intimate with.
Nobody wants a captain save a hoe as a man.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, my heart is heavy. Things ended with this girl I was seeing I had no other choice really felt there was too much emotional attachment on my part but now I literally can’t stop thinking about her. I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but each passing hour/day she occupies my mind. I’ve been keeping busy and all that good stuff but it’s starting to get to me and I kind of feel like a mug for investing so much of myself. What can I do to just move on?
17. July 2017
Heya hun! Thanks for writing into me. Break ups are never quite easy.. especially if you invested a lot of yourself into it. Sadly, there is no magic spell to help get you through it. You just have to be patient and remember why you’re not in that relationship anymore.
Continue to stay busy and do this in various ways. Spend time with friends, pick up a new hobby.. do that one thing you’ve been putting if for months.
You will be fine!
Oloni
Hey Oloni. Me and this girl have been talking for a while on Tinder. We eventually met up in my place and after a few drinks and a few zoots we had sex. After we hooked up we were on good terms and we even spoke about doing it again but eventually I noticed that she started being distant, ignoring my messages and shit so I asked her about it and obviously she lied and said she was busy. I searched her name on Facebook and I came across her page where I saw that she was in a relationship. I called her and asked her about this and she threatened me saying that she was intoxicated when we had sex and she’ll call the police. But it was her idea and she brought the weed. This is crazy because we were both waved and I would never do anything like that. I’m honestly scared and I don’t know what to do. I have just started my career and I’ve got my own place. My parents have moved back home. She even said that they’ll believe her over me because I’m black and she’s white.
17. July 2017
Woah! I’ll be honest with you. It’s never a good idea to have intoxicated sex with someone you’re not that familiar with. I know drunk sex is very normal for plenty of couples but sometimes when you don’t know a person very well you don’t know what they’re capable of.
If posibble try to see if you can get evidence of her making these false claims so you can go to the police about it. Lying about rape is a very serious crime and she should be prosecuted if she says she was.
Oloni
Hey Oloni me and my girl had a huge argument because I asked her if she wanted to eat my a**. It almost sounds comical as I type this. I’ve always wanted to spice things up and try new things in the bedroom and usually she follows suit but this time it didn’t go to plan. She’s offended because she thinks I’m trying to belittle her or treat her like a hoe and she’s called me disrespectful and even went as far as question my sexuality (which she has since apologised for). Now we haven’t had any form of Shit was I totally in the wrong? I just heard that a mans “g-spot” is there and I wanted to know what it’s like.
17. July 2017
I’ll be honest, I giggled and she should have too. Lots of couples are into anal play and it doesn’t mean you’re belittling them.
You’re also absolutely correct on the male gspot. Try to explain this to her. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you soon enough.
Oloni
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