Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here
Grab a copy of The Big O: An empowering guide to loving, dating and f**king
——————————————————————————-
Hi Oloni, I just started reading the Big O! Thanks for writing, it’s actually very informative. I’ve always struggled with this pain when trying to engage with my vaginal opening. It’s why I’ve never used tampons and I’ve never successfully been fingered, even with one finger it’s too painful and I always asked them to stop. Now, I’ve started seeing this guy, I really like him. He’s really sweet and patient. However the same thing happens whenever we try. For my own pleasure I want to work through this and maybe even get over my fear of tampons. Any advice?
26. November 2024
Aww thanks love! See your doctor and ask about dilators.
oloni
I am still afraid of initiating sex sometimes, what helps you not be weird about it?
15. November 2024
Get my book The Big O on Amazon!
My bf and I both agreed to wait so we were each others firsts. But a few weeks after we slept together i found out I have genital warts. I was completely shocked, but now he thinks I lied about being a virgin and that I must’ve been with someone else. I swear he’s the only person I’ve been with but he’s convinced I’m hiding something and won’t believe it can happen any other way. Is there any way to prove I’m telling the truth, or is this relationship over?
10. November 2024
Hey girl, sorry you’re dealing with this. Just know, genital warts don’t always mean someone’s lying or unfaithful. HPV can be passed through skin to skin contact and sometimes shows up long after exposure. So yes, it’s possible to get it without multiple partners.
If your boyfriend can’t trust you on this or refuses to educate himself, that says a lot. Your body and health shouldn’t be used against you. Maybe he needs to do some research!! OR maybe it’s time to ask if he’s someone who deserves your honesty.
Oloni
My boyfriend of 2 years and I haven’t had sex in 6 months. Every time I’ve tried to broach the subject he tries to change topic. Yesterday I’d had enough and told him that it feels like he doesn’t want to be with me anymore so maybe we should just break up. He finally told me the truth and it was worse that I could have imagined. He said that I’ve gained a lot of weight recently and he struggles to have sex with bigger women. I know I’ve gone from a 14 to a 16 since I started WFH but I don’t think it’s such a big change that he has the right to be disgusted with me now. I don’t know what to do.
10. November 2024
Heya hun you deserve a partner who loves and respects you, no matter what. Weight changes are totally normal, and the fact he avoided the topic only to blame it on your body is a major red flag. A real partner supports you they don’t make you feel less than. Take a step back and think about what you deserve!
Hey Oloni girl I need advice. It’s a bit heavy so my boyfriend of five years just proposed and I was over the moon until he dropped a bomb..two years ago, he had a one night fling with someone else. I found out when we were drunk one night and he admitted it. He swears it was a mistake and kept quiet to avoid hurting me, but here’s the twist…the other person recently died. She was his ex girlfriends, friend. Now I’m stuck. He says he’s fully committed to me and wants to move forward, but I feel betrayed and don’t know if I can trust him again. Am I crazy to forgive him and go ahead with the wedding, or should I walk away? I’m so torn
10. November 2024
This is a huge betrayal and it feels so twisted due to who she is, the friend of an ex? I understand she has passed away and it’s very sad, but her not being here today doesn’t change the fact that he hid this lie for some time AND proposed? What else has he lied about? Marriage is a serious commitment and if there’s already some distrust, I wouldn’t jump the broom right now. Take your time to really see how you feel and perhaps talk to a therapist. If he’s cheated before, why wouldn’t he do it again?
Oloni
Subscribe To Our Newsletter
Sign up to our mailing list to read our sex and relationship features first.
You have Successfully Subscribed!