Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hey Oloni, my boyfriend called me today saying his car broke down in an area with no signal and his phone died while he was waiting for a tow truck. He was supposed to take me out last night, but I never heard from him. I bought a new dress, and he even paid for my hair and makeup, so I was excited. His phone was completely off, and I had no way of reaching him. He’s now saying he’ll make it up to me today. He did have roses sent to me yesterday, but I can’t shake the feeling that he was with someone else. Crazy thing is, he sent me a screenshot of the breakdown service as proof, but something about it just isn’t sitting right with me. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if something’s actually off. Help!
15. February 2025
Sis, I’m not saying he’s lying… but something ain’t adding up.
His car conveniently broke down in an area with no signal, and his phone just happened to die while waiting? And now that he’s back, he’s coming with receipts like a man that’s been preparing his defence all night? Hmm.
The screenshot is cute, but what exactly isn’t sitting right with you? Is the timestamp missing? Does it look generic? Did he only send it after you asked? Trust that gut feeling, because men who move right don’t usually leave you feeling like this.
Oloni
Hey Oloni, my ex and I broke up two years ago. We were on and off for four years, and it was a very intense relationship. We’ve both grown up a bit now. I’m 30, he’s 33, and we’ve been cool for the past year. Recently, he asked if I had slept with anyone else when we were in our on & off phase. He still swears he never did 🙄, but I told him the truth. I slept with three guys during one of our breakups, even though back then I lied and said I hadn’t. He promised he’d be cool about it, but he was visibly pissed after I told him. He started giving me short answers and acting off. I don’t get it. He has been in a relationship since we broke up, so why is he mad? It can’t be that serious, right?
11. February 2025
You bruised his ego. Should you have lied back then probably not, but what you do when you’re single is none of his business. He promised he’d be cool about it and he isn’t so take it as a lesson. Also for someone who has been in a relationship after everything it’s interesting that he still has strong emotions about what you did in the past, when you weren’t together. Is he looking for a reason to fight or what?
If I’m having casual sex, is it absolutely required I tell people I have HSV2? I’ve never had an outbreak and if I would’ve never gotten tested, I wouldn’t have known. I take a pill once a day and never have raw sex whenever I do casual. Am I a bad person for not informing casual partners? Again, I’ve never had an outbreak.
6. February 2025
Yes, you should tell the person you’re sleeping with. I know herpes has a stigma, that.. in my opinion.. extremely outdated, but it is still your sexual duty to let them know.
Oloni
So I introduced my husband to my friend and her husband. The boys got along really well and stayed in touch. However, my husband recently received texts from the other guy along the lines of ‘the kids are in bed xx’ and ‘I left my work phone at your house xx’ my husband thought this was weird so called him and he just said it was an accident and his Siri must’ve sent them. This didn’t convince my husband and he thinks I should tell my friend. It could be a sign that he’s cheating but I don’t think I have enough evidence – I don’t want to start problems between them but if he is cheating, doesn’t she deserve to know? I also know that they haven’t been getting along. What should I do??
4. February 2025
You could bring it up casually and not in a way that makes it look like you’re snitching “omg did Roy..” (yes, I’m calling him Roy) “Omg did Roy tell you when Siri text my husband saying xyz. Bless him, what are men like aye?” – Let her put two and two together, but depending on how close you are driveeee it home. Don’t touch on it again unless she asks.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’m polyamorous and queer with a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and a new lover who’s a man and this is important because I haven’t been interested in men apart from my boyfriend in the last 5 years, until I met my new lover last year. It’s insane how well we go together and the chemistry we have. The issue is we (new lover and I) are having so much better sex than I am having with my boyfriend and I’m not sure how to improve our sex without making him feel jealous or less than. Things with my girlfriend are going spectacular tho.
4. February 2025
You’re so lucky I can keep up! basically you want to improve sex with your boyfriend. Get a copy of my book. The Big O 1. and 2 Try increasing your sexual currency and exploring new ways to enjoy intimacy. A lot of people have a routine when it comes to sex, but it’s important to find new ways to switch it up. From role playing, toys, location (not in a park please) those are cool and exciting ways to help explore and don’t forget to switch up positions, and look for new ways on how to enjoy sex. Good luck!
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