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Hey Oloni. I graduated from a Russell group uni in July with a 2:1 in pharmaceutical science and I am starting my dream job on Monday. 35k a year, lol. My boyfriend (who I’ve been with since I was in year 11) dropped out of one of those midlands inks after 1st year. originally his plan was to do an apprenticeship however this did not go to plan. 3 Years on and he is in the exact place he was when he dropped out. He lives at home with his mum, and only ever leaves to purchase marijuana. I do love him as he was my first everything however he’s become waaaay to complacent with where he is in life. He is living off his mother and is making absolutely no effort to find work. I have applied for numerous roles for him however he is always failing to go to interviews. Oloni I love this man with all my heart, however he is making no effort to get on my level. Everyone is telling me to help him grind but I am really out of options. Please help. 20. August 2017

First off OMG CONGRATS!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 You should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!!

The only way is up! With that said, you need to dump this guy. Immediately. In fact after you finish reading this, call him and advise you meet up so you can let his ass go.

Now please understand that  i’m not saying this because of all your new success. If you were working some small retail job I would still have the same attitude towards this dilemma.

From what you have described you have tried to ‘build him’, but you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I’m sorry but he’s an embarrassment.  How can you see your  girl make serious moves and still have a shitty attitude towards your life. It’s the fact that he doesn’t even bother to go to interviews that you help line up…. wth?

You should be with someone who is as driven as you. You bring so much to the table sis, and sadly he doesn’t.

Now make that phone call.

Oloni.


Hi Oloni, I can relate so much to the girl who’s name was saved as ‘black’. I recently got a new job and when I started I met one of the guys who works in the sales department. Long story short, we started texting, but flirty banter then one day during work he sent a image of whatsapp of him in black face with the caption “get a guy that can do both”. I was so confused and didn’t know what to say so I didn’t reply. But once he’d realised what he had done, he messaged me saying sorry. I said it’s fine (I shouldn’t of, I know) then we just continued texting. We went out for a couple of dinners after that and everything was calm, but now we haven’t spoken in a while apart from work. I just don’t know what to do? Should I ask him what’s changed or just leave it? 20. August 2017

I’m sorry but this isn’t someone you should fuss over. He’s ignorant and should be left at the back of your mind.

Oloni


Hi Oloni! So I’m mixed race (half white english, half black african) my best friend of 15 years is white English. She’s had a new boyfriend for the past 8 months who she split up a month ago because he cheated. He’s white and a gypsy. I started to think he was racist as his tweets were mainly about muslims and other ethnicities And he came out with comments like ‘the thought of black boys around you at wireless makes me sick’ but he was always friendly with me. Since theyve split I’ve looked on his twitter and there’s so much racist tweets about Africans/middle easterns/muslims. My friend wants to get back with him but I feel like she would be disrespecting me if she did as I’m extremely vocal about my dislike towards racist people. Although I haven’t spoke about his twitter with her she must have seen it! I want to tell her my views on him but I don’t want to lose my friendshiHi Oloni! So I’m mixed race (half white english, half black african) my best friend of 15 years is white English. She’s had a new boyfriend for the past 8 months who she split up a month ago because he cheated. He’s white and a gypsy. I started to think he was racist as his tweets were mainly about muslims and other ethnicities And he came out with comments like ‘the thought of black boys around you at wireless makes me sick’ but he was always friendly with me. Since theyve split I’ve looked on his twitter and there’s so much racist tweets about Africans/middle easterns/muslims. My friend wants to get back with him but I feel like she would be disrespecting me if she did as I’m extremely vocal about my dislike towards racist people. Although I haven’t spoke about his twitter with her she must have seen it! I want to tell her my views on him but I don’t want to lose my friendship or make a its me or him situation? (She’s VERY stubborn) What would you do or say ? X 20. August 2017

He’s disgusting. Talk to your friend and let her know about the vile piece of shit, she has an ex. Also explain that if  she does get back with him, you’d prefer if she keep you both away from each other.

I’d also hope you spend less and less time with her as I’m a firm believer in, your romantic partners being a representaiton of yourself in some ways. So I’m 100% sure she knows that he’s a nasty little cunt.

Oloni


Hey Oloni, I was sort of seeing this guy.. well he was basically on me for like two months, I finally decided to go out with him after like three dates we ended up having sex and I thought that after this he would do a fuckboy thing and just disappear which I didn’t mind because I wanted to just have sex and didn’t see anything serious coming from it. Anyway after this he was still on me and we continued for maybe 2-3 weeks seeing each other and then one day communication just stopped. Is this a case of he just wanted to sleep with me or did I do something wrong? Because if I message him he acts normal but I have to force the conversation, I was starting to like him he’s also an older guy 20. August 2017

He’s just no longer interested and it happened later than you expected.

This is very common.

Oloni


Hey Oloni, do you think closure is necessary in a relationship where I feel as if I’m being used for my money. My “boyfriend” makes no effort to see, or call me (we only text) but I’ve been loaning him money and that seems to be the only time he holds a brief conversation with me then disappears for days. Yes I know it’s dumb on my end. Should I say something or just block him and move on? 20. August 2017

Dump him and ask for your money back. Closure isn’t necessary

 

Oloni


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