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Hi oloni, So I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for 5 months and now are relationship is on the brink. So he recently found out that in all my past relationships, 5 to be exact, I was the one who cheated. I know what I’ve done was bad and I’ve tried to move past it but now my boyfriend has serious trust issues with me. He says ever since he’s found out he’s noticed some red flags about me that he didn’t notice before. He hasn’t judged me or tried to make me feel bad but he has admitted he’s struggling to trust me and is quite paranoid whenever I talk to other guys in a friendly way. He says I’m overtly friendly and touchy with other men which he didn’t think was a big deal before but now it makes him feel in his head that I’m fucking everyone and anyone. The thing is I’m naturally like that and I don’t know what to do. I really want to move on from my past behaviour and I really love my boyfriend and I have no intentions of cheating on him. He so good to me and so caring but this information is bugging him so much. He’s never cheated but has cheated on before so I see where he’s coming from. What do I have to do to ease his mind and make him trust me? I haven’t broken his trust but as it’s early days it’s almost like we’re regressing. Please any advise will HELP!!
24. April 2017
Wowser. Okay sis, you’re going to have to have another conversation with him. I’m talking stick the kettle on type of conversation..
Explain to him what you’ve told me in terms of it being your past and how you feel about him. If he feels that you’re a particular way with men, then he should have said prior to hearing that information. If this is going to work, you have to ask for him to continue to trust you, especially if you haven’t done anything in this relationship to make him feel like he’s unable to.
Hi oloni, So I completely forgot my boyfriends birthday and didn’t realise until I watched his snap at like 1am the next day. He hadn’t talked about the date much since he first told me so I didn’t register it in my brain much. So we had an argument a 3 days before his birthday and he said some really mean things in the moment and I was so mad I aired all his messages. He apologised to me via email I saw it but still left him on silent treatment. So after I watch his snap I was just about to call him to apologise and then he sends me a crazy long message of how upset he was that even after saying sorry I couldn’t even be bothered to say happy birthday or at least call him. I know it reads like I don’t care about him but I really do love him. I was just so upset because of our argument, now he wants a break from me and I really want to get him back. I’ve been so stressed and even cried when I went to see him but he’s just been so cold to me, it’s like he’s completely done. I’m still scared to say I forgot cause that night just finish us completely. Our relationship is so good and he treats me so so well. Please any advice will help!!!
24. April 2017
Okay, first things first.. add his birthday to your phone calendar. Next.. you two will be absolutely fine, you just need to give him some time to come around. It sounds like he’s pulling this stunt out of pride because he did everything possible to talk to you. You’ll both be okay, just learn from this and stop airing your boyfriend when you have a misunderstanding. If he says another foul thing, address it the situation rather than pretending he doesn’t exist.
Hey Oloni. Me and my “significant other” have really great sex, my only problem is HOW VOCAL HE IS. I know some people love that stuff but honestly it makes me feel incredibly awkward and I’m like omg please shut up. I’m just not that vocal (it’s a confidence thing on my part) and so I don’t know what to say back and it just feels like I’m ignoring him lmao. The thing is where we aren’t official I feel like I can’t really say anything without the risk of him becoming self conscious and just stopping seeing me and believe me I DO NOT WANT THAT this is the best sex I’ve ever had..until he’s opened his mouth. Help me please before I end up creating a fake fetish where i shove a sock in his mouth.
24. April 2017
Some people are like that naturally in bed, they enjoy a good moan or dirty talk – The question I have for you is, whether you’d be interested in learning how moan the way he does.. Or are you just quiet in bed naturally? Him not being your official partner shouldn’t really play a apart in this, because if you’re comfortable to get naked with each other, then you should be able to say ‘babe, stop making those noises/talking’.
Hi oloni, So I slapped my boyfriend when we had an argument and that was the first time I’ve ever done something like that. I saw him texting another woman and then we started arguing and that’s when it happened. Ive apologised but he’s stopped talking to me and said he may go to the police for domestic violence, not because he scared or hurt by it but just out of principle. It was only a little slap but he’s taking it so far. I just want to get over this. What do I do? And is this domestic violence?
24. April 2017
If he feels threatened by you then he has every right to go to the police. You shouldn’t be slapping your boyfriend know matter how you feel. Next time walk away.
Hiya. I’ve read your bi-curious post and I feel the exact same but coming from a religious and cultural background. I don’t know how I’d meet girls for sexual experimentation. Any suggestions????
24. April 2017
Heya hun, thanks for reading it. I was actually quite scared to release it. I would suggest, social media apps and dating ones too.