Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as brief as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here 

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So I asked on you CC where I can get some good lube from as in what websites or adult stores. And also where to get vibrators from. But you told not me for advice ask on simply oloni. What advice do I need?? 23. April 2017

I only answer sex & relationship related questions here. My curious cat isn’t for that. I also answered and said adult toy stores.


Hey Oloni I’ve been seeing this guy for one year now, on and off, he’s 9 years older than me, I’m 20. So, we always break up because when he’s angry about something he cuts communication, will go off for days ignoring my calls and texts. We got back together a month ago and apparently I said something and he’s off again, ignoring all forms of communication ,he knows I dislike it and it’s so much torture I cry all day. He says he loves me, it’s the best connection I’ve had with anyone. Am I playing myself or should I just stay because maybe it’s just him 23. April 2017

That’s a terrible habit to have in a relationship. You don’t cut off all communication with your girlfriend when  you have a disagreement.  Do not settle for it or it will continue.


Oloni… Is it weird/uncommon to be a female virgin at 21? 23. April 2017

Not at all, there are plenty.



Hello oloni so there’s this app where you can keep track of people’s locations if you both have it and I didn’t believe it when my boyfriend told me so we both got it and now he won’t stop using it to check where I am cos he always doubts what I tell him when we’re not together. He doesn’t trust me for shit and I can’t blame him cos I lied about stuff in the past but really how can a relationship work when you’re always going on an app to monitor my location?? And if I dare delete it or turn my location off he’ll go ballistic and say I’m cheating. What do I do?? 23. April 2017

This is so creepy, it’s unreal. I understand that trust has to be earned again, but this isn’t the way to go about it. If you allow him to keep stalking your whereabouts, it’ll give him leeway to do other ridiculous things such as asking you to take a selfie everytime you’re out so he can see your sorroundings. It’s controlling. Put your foot down or leave immediately.


Hi Oloni, so basically my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and he said it’s because of my “attitude”. He’s mentioned my attitude before and I’ve been trying to work on it but I got pregnant and very hormonal, a lot of the time I felt out of control with my emotions and actions. Since I discovered I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago, we were having constant arguments back and forth and that’s fair enough- a pregnancy is a lot for any relationship to handle. I had an abortion. And even on the day of the initial consultation, he was so angry with me (bc he felt unappreciated), that he didn’t speak to me the whole time and even the nurse said to me “oh you aren’t on good terms”. It was really embarrassing for me to be at the abortion clinic and for it to be so obvious that he was mad at me. I felt as though even if I’d done the worst thing, he should’ve still been there for me. Anyway we discussed this after and he was very very apologetic and understood so I forgave him. Fast track to 10 days post abortion (yesterday). He and I had been arguing a lot less and I’d really been trying to work on my attitude but pregnancy takes a toll and I’d had a very very painful abortion. Hormones don’t just go back to usual levels straight away and I’d still been feeling slightly on edge. Anyway we had an argument in which he was the far ruder party but then proceeded to say some pretty mean and condescending stuff like “you really like to be pitied don’t you” and “I’m tired of you”. Then when I told him that we needed to talk about the things he’d done that upset me he said “I’m done dealing with you bye”. I asked him if he was sure and he, rudely, said he was sure. So I said okay. I cried and cried and cried Oloni, more than when I found out I was pregnant. I can’t even see myself with anyone else and I love him so much. I respect that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, but I’m not sure how to adjust to life without him. He’s my bestfriend. I called him last night (stupid of me I know) and we talked for a bit and he said he’s around to talk whenever I need to, but that’s not helpful for either of us to heal. I guess it just felt very rash and sudden. Times that things have happened that we could’ve broken up for, I decided that we should work on ourselves and try to improve but I guess that was all for nothing. We honestly had the best relationship and i know that he still cares for me but I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. I understand that I’m meant to give myself time to be sad, but I’ve got exams and me lying down crying is gonna be the worst thing for me right now. I went to the gym after he broke up with me and I stayed in the changing rooms and cried because he came to the gym with me once and we had a great time. I really do love him. Please, I just don’t know how to numb the pain or how to move on. On one hand I want to fight for our relationship and keep in contact with him and try to improve myself so that we can still be together. But on the other hand, it’s not by force. If he no longer wants to be with me I can’t embarrass myself by continuing to pine for him. I’ve just never felt more alone. 23. April 2017

Hey hun, you’ve been going through quite a difficult time. A termination is never easy and as you mentioned, it will come with a rollercoaster of emotions.

I think that due to what you have just been through, you’re in a place where you need someone for mental and emotional support. I don’t think, however, your ex is the best person. From what you mentioned you’ve had disagreements and during a really sensitive time for the both of you. I also feel that the longer you try to keep him in the picture the harder it will be to move on. You should be around good friends, who can help you push through these moments and understand that with time, you will get/feel better.

I understand that was your bestfriend, but how good of a friend was he if that’s how he spoke to you after what you went through? It’s insensitive. Friends and especially boyfriends never behave like that.

Use this time to focus on yourself, so you can grow as a person. I think you should seek professional help and see a therapist who can guide you professionally throughout this break up.



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