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Dear Oloni, im in my early twenties and recently I have contracted herpes from a guy im dating. Since it has happened we have been arguing continuously. I feel like we may have to part ways but do you have any advice on dating moving forward? I will 100% tell any partner before I get intimate with them but im having anxiety just thinking about disclosing it to a potential partner because of the stigma.
29. April 2018
Hey love, you’d be surprised at the number of young adults who have herpes. It’s stigmatised so several people choose not to speak about it. It’s important to constantly talk to a sexual health nurse/dr if you do get anxiety about disclosing the information to new partners.
I also wrote a blog once about it. Read it here: https://simplyoloni.com/usher-herpes-and-everything-you-should-know-about-the-virus/
Remember condoms are everything.
Oloni
Dear Oloni, I have a new man and I invited him to a drink up with my girls. I had expressed to my girls previously that I really liked the guy but I have trust issues. I also have told the guy this too. to cut a long story short, one of my girls had sex with the guy at this drink up however she did ask me if it was ok and in my drunk state I said she should ‘do her ting’ and I also handed her condoms. Now I did not actually expect her to have sex with him and I assumed she could tell from my body language that I was not cool with that however him, her and some of my other friends are saying I said it was fine so I am basically in the wrong as I should have expressed clearly how I felt. Was I wrong or do these people need to get the axe?? <3
29. April 2018
…you gave her the condoms. That was practically your blessings.
Oloni
SO OLONI, WHERE DO I START!? I have been with my boyfriend for seven years and things have been… mostly good. Anyway, fast forward to this year and it’s been rocky. We went through a phase of just constant arguing. Present day now and there was an emergency and I needed to go through his phone to find someones contact details. I end up seeing multiple new snapchat adds and a message wanting to take someone on a date. I confronted him and he says he just wanted the attention and wasn’t really gonna go through with it. Oloni am I being a fool because I know the answer? But seven years of my life?
29. April 2018
Yikes. He has more explaining to do, because that lie he told you is NOT going to cut it. If you never went through his phone he would be on date number 3 sis.
I can’t tell you whether or not to walk away, but this is a very good reason to. Seven years or not, he played you. In a lot of relationships, what you choose to forgive may continue.
Oloni
I’ve been sleeping my my youth pastor for about 7 months now. He was celibate before me and we both couldn’t resist temptation any longer. He says he has feelings for me but can not compromise his faith by being in a relationship with me or letting people or our friends know about us whereas I’ve been ready since the first month I met him to commit to him. We have sex after every service and on Wednesdays so how much further could his faith be compromised? I know he is a man of God and would treat me well and take good care of me, which is why I don’t want to lose him. He is also an amazing lover. However, 8 months is such a long time to be doing what we are in secrecy with no promise of a future together. Do you think I should continue our love story And be patient out of respect for our beliefs or give him an ultimatum about our future? Please help
29. April 2018
Hy love, the longer this continues the deeper you’ll fall for him. It’s weird that his own actions aren’t matching his words (in terms of intimacy). However, I think it’s best you listen to what he’s told you. If he’s not after a relationship, end it.
Oloni
“Dear Oloni, I just want to be a free hoe but all these guys want to get serious and all fall in love with me. I’m a Scorpio so therefore inadvertently a sexual being but I cba for have boys falling in love with me once we get intimate. How can I be a hoe but avoid boys falling for me?!!?!!??”
26. April 2018
Lol you make it clear before sex that you want nothing more.
Oloni
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