Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hi Oloni, love your work!!! So here goes. In the early stages of our relationship the guy I was dating was still with his girlfriend. He kept it from me and I found out 😳. Massive blow up, I didn’t speak to him for a year. Since that, built back a friendship, I chose to forgive him and we now have a great relationship 3 years later. The problem is, my brother who really close to absolutely hates this guy and does not want me to be with him because he said he’s a cheater that will never change and disrespected me. Most of my family who knew about the situation disprove of the relationship too. Do I listen to them or listen to my heart? I really do believe he’s changed plus whilst I’m not excusing what he did, he was very young and has matured a great deal since then. Please help 😭 this is the man I want to marry!
29. January 2019
Your family will always want to protect you from hurt. It’s natural. However, if you feel like he has changed and hasn’t given you a reason to question his loyalty, he probably has grown.
Do what feels right.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. I know you’re not a doctor, but can you please tell me if I have vaginismus. First of all, I am DEATHLY afraid of penetration. I only just started having sex about a month ago. Before that, all the times I’d tried were way too painful. Now I have done it twice with my current boyfriend (Im not always comfortable during but I assume that’s part of the early stages of it all). I tried to have sex again today but I was so scared and kept whimpering and my vagina is so sore. He tried to put the tip in and I felt so sore and begged him to stop. He got frustrated and I felt bad, then got mad and left. Do I have vaginismus?
29. January 2019
You could do. I would suggest seeing a doctor. I hope it does get sorted. Sorry you’re experiencing this.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. First of all I have to say thank you for all the work you do in the sex positive sphere. I have learned so much from your blog & twitter & insta threads. I have plenty to say but it can all be summed up in the gratitude I feel & affirmation I get from ur blog. That said my only dilemma is when will the vesta return in the store?👀 Thanx in advance xx
17. January 2019
Thank you so much!! Will be back in time for Valentine’s Day
Hi Oloni, I have a dilemma. So I’m Nigerian and my boyfriend is Jamaican. We’ve been dating for a while now and we’re pretty serious. One day I must’ve been looking at traditional attire for weddings (I’m Yoruba btw), I showed my boyfriend and he responded with “we aren’t doing any of that shit” I was proper confused and hurt but kind of kept it to myself. Anyway, recently we’ve been talking about meeting parents, I asked him to dobale for my dad, not like fully go on the floor but a quick knee bop. He told me he wouldn’t do it, which I guess was fine but his best friend is Korean and whenever he sees his parents he bows for them. It seems minor but it really hurts me and I feel like down the line, we’ll keep fighting about cultural things. Should I ignore it or bring up my upset with him? Thank you xx
10. January 2019
He seems quite trashy and extremely disrespectful. I personally don’t know why you’d want to be this sort of person. We should really respect all cultures, but especially the cultures of people we’re in relationships with.
The fact he bows for his Korean mates family also shows how little he rates you and Nigerian culture.
Get rid of him and find yourself a Kunle.
Oloni
Hi oloni, I went through my boyfriends (“intuition”) and I saw texts of him flirting with someone I had suspicions about. I don’t know how to confront him about it since I was wrong looking thorough his phone, but he was flirting with someone else and we’ve been together a year.
10. January 2019
If he’s flirting, then you have to let him know that you went through his intuition.
Loyalty is important in a relationship, so if he’s entertaining other women it shows just how unserious he is about your relationship.
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