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Dear Oloni, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 year and 4 months. Everything is great and we are both very committed. However, since the beginning of this year he has decided that we should no longer have sex and improve on our spiritual growth. I completely disagree with him because we have never done this before. We both love each other but he said it’s a very firm decision he made and it’s something he wants to do until we get married. I am still studying my masters and he is busy at University too so marriage is not something which will happen anytime soon. Could you please advise me on how I can go about this because even though sex is not the center of our relationship, I won’t be able to not do it with him for months let alone a year. Please help!!
3. January 2017
Hey hun! If he wants to be celibate, you’re going to have to respect his decision but voice how you feel about it. You also need to give yourself time to decide whether or not this is something you’d be able to commit to and I mean proper time, not a quick thought!
Oloni
Hi oloni, my boyfriend is really boring me. When we spend time together most of the times we’re both just on our phones and when I try and talk to him (just in general) he never seems to be listening or interested. He spends a lot of time with his friends. He’ll ask me to come over to his but then I’ll most likely be in his house in a room by myself while he chills with his boys in a different room. I spent NYE by myself since I have no friends in this me city. I’ve been trying to break up with him but he’s not having it but he’s also not seeing the problem. Am I tripping or do you see my problem here ?
3. January 2017
Why won’t he have it? I don’t think you want to break up with him either. You’re just saying it, hoping it’ll alert him to change.
Let this go! How does a guy invite you over and decides to sit in another room with his boys? Is he well?
Hi oloni, recently i found out I was pregnant and made the hard decision to have an abortion due to it personally not being the right timing and the guy I’ve been dating has two children (I know most are gonna say run) but from 16 I’ve always wanted him and now 20 I feel like it’s my “chance”. However due to him believing I was playing games and intended to be dishonest and keep the child it caused us to fall out ALOT as there were complications getting an appointment. Few days before my surgical abortion (which was a terrifying experience for me) we have an argument however this time is us not speaking lasted up until the day of the abortion and even on the day (today) I’m still awaiting for him to call or ask “if I’m okay”. Do you think I should communicate my concerns and try to work things out or just let it go and close a chapter ?
3. January 2017
Hey love! Thanks for writing in. I hope you’re okay as you’ve just gone through something very serious. Personally I feel like you’re putting this guys emotions before yours when you’re the one who has just been through a tough experience. I understand you want him to communicate with you, but his lack of actions should say enough.
This guy doesn’t seem like a serious person and I would advise that you close this chapter and never return. Someone who cares about you would not put you through this.
Oloni
Hi, to summarise, my boyfriend thinks it’s unrealistic to have one sexual partner for the rest of our lives (I’m 22 and he’s 26) and we talk about getting married. He said things like when your wife is 60 and you’ve been together for over 30 years and her body doesn’t look the same as it once did men would want sex from younger women. Aside from this making me feel really insecure and paranoid about getting old. This has made me really begin to question the relationship and if I want to be with someone’s with that mindset. Is it worth ending the relationship over? Or should I just leave it as people change their mind?
30. December 2016
His mindset is full of red flags my dear and unless you share the same views, I would pull a runner.
Oloni
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcT5gnB-Z3c
Dear Oloni omg i’m having a similar problem as the girl whose man makes her pay for his products. Basically my bf is an F boy (fraud) and he can deets (use someone else card to purchase things online) items etc. But when he deets me something for example a handbag (let’s say £500) he’ll give it to me his gf for £250 even though he basically got it for free because it wasn’t his money. He says it’s supporting his “hustle” but sometimes i feel like he’s trying to sell to me like i’m one of his customers. Even with things like Uber he will say pay half price (£20) if the journey is £40. It’s embarrassing when i’m with my friends because they expect us to get the Uber for free because he’s my man. I’ve always been shy to bring this up with him … What do I say and a how can I start this conversation without sounding rude??
30. December 2016
I can’t believe you wrote this in and think it’s okay. Please do not abuse my service because a fraud boy isn’t giving you what you want.
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