Ask Oloni

Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Dear Oloni, I’ve been in a ‘relationship’ with this guy for the past 5-6months but it doesn’t feel like we are in a relationship. He goes up to a week without replying my messages and he doesn’t answer my calls. His excuse is that his phone doesn’t work but when we are together he’s on his phone and it looks like it works perfectly. I feel like he is playing me but he also has been asking me a lot of times to come off the pill because he wants to have a child with me, which I do not want to do because it looks like he is very unreliable. He already has one child which he had when he was 16 and now he is 24. I recently called off the relationship but I don’t know it’s it’s him that I miss or just the sex because when we first got together my intentions were to have him as someone I can just have sex with nothing else until he pulled us into a title of being in a ‘relationship’. I don’t know if I should holla him and just go along and see if he’ll improve or just lock off the relationship entirely. I feel like a dicknotysed, because the sex is the best I have ever had. He eats pussy and he has gotten to know what I like so well even better than I know my own sexual needs. My main question is, AM I A SIDE CHICK? OR DOES HE TREAT ME LIKE THIS BECAUSE HE IS OLDER THAN ME (He’s 24 and I’m 20) or AM I JUST A BEAT BECAUSE WE HAD SEX ON THE FIRST DATE? 8. January 2017

I’m annoyed I read this and I’m annoyed you can’t tell this guy is a loser. Move on

Oloni

Hi oloni, me and my partner of 2 years have just had our first child 2 weeks ago, I’m not ready to have sex yet, but he feels that I’m neglating him, I’m still just getting used to having a baby around the house & the sleepless nights I feel like I maybe should just have sex with him to keep him happy. keep in mind we haven’t had sex throughtout most of my pregnancy so I do understand where his coming from but I’m just honestly too tired & im still abit sore. I don’t know how to tell him not right now because I don’t want him to feel neglected or to make him feel not wanted, as I keep putting it off. But I don’t know what to tell him.. any advise? x 8. January 2017

Hey hun, okay first off CONGRATULATIONS!!! That’s amazing news!!

Right now, as for your dilemma, you’ve only just given birth two weeks ago so you shouldn’t really be having sex yet. The safest time to have sex is three to six weeks from what I’ve been told and generally read about. This is to give yourself time to heal especially after the bleeding from the birth.

Even after those weeks are up, my dear do not stress yourself. You should only have sex when you’re physically and emotionally ready and your partner needs to be understanding towards this. You need to have an honest conversation with him and explain why you’re not ready, once gain, you’ve JUST had a baby.

You’ll both be okay!

Oloni

Hi Oloni, I don’t have any relationship issues but I have issues with sex. Whatever my husband does, I just cannot orgasm. I’ve tried a vibrator and everything but still, nothing. Otherwise, the sex is amazing it’s just that part. The only feeling close to it is needing to pee? Is that normal? Do you have any recommendations of things I should try out? Thank you! 8. January 2017

I would suggest you try to enjoy foreplay for a longer period. I feel like a lot of couples skip this step or don’t spend enough time on it. So yeah, a tip from me would be to last 20 long ass minutes on simply, touching, playing and kissing. do this all over your erogenous zones and you should notice a difference.

Oloni

Hi Oloni, there’s a Muslim girl who teaches my son in primary school who is incredibly beautiful however she wears the clothes Muslim girls wear. Being a non-Muslim I feel like that is stopping me from wanting to talk to her. I honestly do not know what to do. Help a brother out! 8. January 2017

Why would her religious clothing stop you from pursuing her? You sound really shy if I’m honest. I think you should find a bit of courage just to simply introduce yourself. Be careful though, this is your sons teacher we’re talking about lol. Good luck hun

Oloni

hi oloni, basically to cut it short I’m in a relationship but me and my ex are still in love with each other and we’re still intimate but we can’t be together, I’m in love with my man but I’m also falling back in love with my ex. i don’t want to break up with my man or tell him whats going on because i don’t want to lose him but i don’t know what to do about my current situation. its hard because my ex feels like home because we’ve been through so much we’ve known each other since 16 and now we’re 21(he was my first for everything btw) 8. January 2017

So basically you’re selfish and you’re finding a million and one ways to sugarcoat that fact. You’re also feeling sorry for yourself when you know deep down nobody has time for that. Do better. Someone has to go. You cannot be playing with feelings like this, the fact is what you’re doing to your boyfriend is horrible, whether or not that’s your intention. Personally I’d say leave your boyfriend and figure out what you want, no-one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is still in love with their ex, I’m sure you wouldn’t either. No-one is saying rush, take your time, but do so outside of this situation. Stop wasting peoples time and playing with their emotions. Confusion is a part of life but you’re robbing yourself of great experiences if you insist on basking in it and not finding solutions. ps. you’re still young, you’ll get over your first soon enough…a couple years from now you’ll realise he’s probably the ugliest in his batch….

or you could be happily married. Who knows?

Ebi

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