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Is having sex too soon a deal breaker if you want to get serious with a guy?
5. June 2017
Not all guys! I know couples who are still together despite having sex on the first date. I also hear of the typical stories where the guy never calls back.
My suggestion? Do what makes you feel comfortable but also be wise!
Oloni
Hi oloni, so I’ve started dating this guy and things have been going really well. I’ve told him that i’m wanting something serious and he’s told me that’s what he wants too. We talk almost everyday. He’s said that he’s not just looking for sex and fun but does have sexual undertones in the way that he talks to me; he said that this was because he’s so attracted to me. Just for a couple of days in the evening our conversation has gotten sexual and I’ve sent a few photos and videos. He told me that all that talk we’ve had has really turned him on and he has to relieve himself but wanted one last video of me and I said that I didn’t want to send him one. He got really annoyed and said that I can’t do that to him and now he’s stopped talking to me. Am I just kidding myself thinking he wants more than sex or was I in the wrong for turning him on those nights?
5. June 2017
There’s absolutely nothing attractive about a guy who can’t take no for an answer, then tries to guilt trip you. You’re getting to know him and sadly, his true colours are starting to show. I would be careful with this guy and pay attention to this red flag. When you do speak again explain how uncomfortable he made you feel, you did nothing wrong.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I hope all is well. Just want to say a huge well done on what you are doing in the media world. You are a huge inspiration to all of us; especially the African community. tres bien! My dilemma is as follows.. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 8 months now and I am in love with her mother. It’s mad I know. I’m 24 years old and I love my girlfriends mum. I prefer to stay over at my girls place just so I can be close to her mum. When I see her at the dinner table looking like a scrumptious meal I feel like giving it all up and having myself deep in her guts and rearranging her organs. My girl is attractive don’t get me wrong, but she’s second best to her mum. Part of me wants to grow old with my girl so I can see her turn into her mum; she’s nearly there just not fully. I think of my girls mum when I’m penetrating her, I feel bad but it’s so satisfying in a naughty way. I’ve been tempted to accidentally walk into the bathroom whilst she’s showering or even leave the bedroom door slightly open whilst I stroke my dragon or maybe I could just say something to her? I don’t know. It’s the way she looks at me, starring into my eyes like she’s looking at my soul and my deeper feelings. Maybe it’s my 13 year old inner child coming to the forefront. I don’t know how I should move forward, any advice?
5. June 2017
This is so inappropriate. Fantasies are normal but this sounds like you’re close to trying to fulfil it. You and I both know what you’re thinking is wrong. Perhaps this might be an indication that this relationship isn’t for you, especially when all you think about is her mum.
Oloni
Hi oloni, So I’ve been feeling a little down recently. No boy has ever approached me or been interested in me romantically, I’ve had one night stands but the guys were usually crazy drunk so I dunno if that counts. Even on tinder I actually haven’t matched with anyone and I keep swiping, it’s like no ones interested in me. I don’t think I’m that attractive so maybe it’s that. So recently I decided to start taking the first move, if I saw a guy I liked whether I was shopping or in a club I would approach them and talk to them. I’ve been so unsuccessful at this. One guy in the club called after I said hi to me said he’s gay, walked away and then 10 minutes later I see him kissing up another girl, that really hurt. There was a time I was in Tesco and I asked a guy for his number I dialled it and it turned out to be a fake number, this all happened whilst he was in front of me. I just feel so unwanted and I don’t know what to do. What do you think I’m doing wrong and why won’t guys approach me? I just feel so unwanted and ugly and I need help
5. June 2017
I’m a firm believer in thinking that there’s someone for EVERYONE! Especially good people. I love your confidence and determination to find love! The only advice I have would be to not give up. Have you ever thought about joining a match making agency? There are several around. They’re discreet, helpful and you have someone who can do all the work for you, in terms of finding a new love interest. Give it a google and do some research. You’ll be surprised by how many men also find it hard to meet someone so please do not be too down on yourself.
Oloni
Hi oloni, So I started watching this show dear white people and I feel like my relationship is exactly like the white guy and the mix race girl in it. And white and my GF is mix race and ever since my GF got to uni she has become “pro-black” which is good I guess but I feel like she constantly belittles me(not directly) by saying white men are trash or calling white men the devil. She wasn’t like this before but I just feel so uneasy that she can chant all this hate about white people and then come back to tell me she loves me ect. I’m not one of those all lives matter people or anything but it just makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. She constantly tweets things like “we need to protect the black family” but comes back to me. I still love her but I dunno if i just chat to her about it or just leave. Any advice?
4. June 2017
Oh wow! Your girlfriend should know that being pro black does not mean anti white. Calling white men trash even though she’s in a interracial relationship just comes across as performative.. it doesn’t make any sense. She can still be woke and date someone out of her race. I would suggest you have a conversation with your girlfriend and explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel.
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