T/W RAPE. Oloni, my bff who I love like my sis is pregnant. The man (24) already has a child with his ex. At first, she and I were on the same page of an abortion because we’re in our final year and this is a big risk for her (her parents are strict Muslims who as it seemed, struggled to pay her fees and she’s admitted she’s in no way ready). The man convinced her, like his ex, to keep the child and it seems she’s going to do that basically because she loves him which is a dumb reason. I tried talking sense to her and she reminded me of the abortion I told her I got when I was 15 after being raped which damaged my womb. I got that back in Nigeria by a quack because I was scared to tell my parents. It’s very unlikely she’d face the same risks here in the UK. I’ll support her with my best in anyway I can if she decides to keep the child but for now, how do I convince her not to?
4. November 2017
Hey hun! I’m incredibly sorry to hear about what you went through and although this dilemma is about your friend I hope you’ve been able to get the right support and guidance.
As for your mate, there’s nothing you can do. It’s not your decision even if she was the ninth or tenth baby mother.. what i will say is, just continue to be a good friend and stick by her no matter what she decides to do.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, recently I slept with someone and the sex was mediocre. It got me thinking, is the first time you have sex with someone new enough to determine weather you’re compatible in bed or not? Thanks
4. November 2017
For many the first is enough to tell them all they need to know.. others it might need to take more sex dates and communication to truly see if you’re compatible.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been with my girl for a year now and we were so good. We were both so happy. She’d always tell me how her ex cheated and betrayed her and I promised that I would never do that to her. I was in my boys car when my girl sent me unexpected nudes, my boy saw this so I lied and said that another girl sent this to me because I didn’t want him to know that that was my girl (this is where I fucked up but I didn’t want him knowing what my girls breast looks like). He told his girl who told my girl now my girl is convinced I’m cheating. She’s really paranoid now and she goes through my phone allot. Once I was in the shower she called me 17 times and she was annoyed that I didn’t pick up. Another time she heard my mum’s voice in the background and made me give my phone to my mum. Lol my mum Oloni. It’s driving me crazy. What can I do to prove to her that I love her and that I would never cheat on her? She’s the only girl I’d ever want. And on the side note my boy’s girl doesn’t like me anymore and she hates when we hang out. This is all mad.
4. November 2017
You need a new friend for starters, second explain the story to her and tell her why you lied to him. It’s just one giant misunderstanding. I’m sure with time, she’ll see the light.
Oloni
Hey oloni, i had a conversation with my bestfriend , during the conversation she told me she wanted a threesome but I didn’t agree cause I am not cool with it cause I am a one man person , she agreed and we never really had that conversation, though it came up and she begged me not to chicken out of the situation but I still turned it down , till one day she invited me out to a strip club with her guy ( I suppose ) , we were having fun and then she asked me if I wanted a girl home , lol I said sure cause I’m in to girls , it felt weird so I asked what the deal was cause her guy can’t be that nice to want pay a girl to follow us home , then she told me they would watch us do our stuff , I wasn’t cool with her guy seeing me naked and all that stuff cause he ain’t my guy but I just ignored the whole thing . Leaving the strip club my friend got really drunk and when we got home , she passed out and it was just the stripper , I and the her guy . I took my shower and the babe took her shower also and you know we were about to get down and stuff , then her guy came in to our room , this was after I begged him for privacy and to stay with my friend. So he came in and all touching me and sucking my boobs then I got uncomfortable completely, so I told him that I wasn’t really cool and the situation was awkward cause I never really expected it . I told him to excuse us so I had a conversation with the stripper about the agreement, and then she told me the guy said ” he likes me and he wants her to turn me on so he would be able to get down with me ” . I got really sad and angry but I just kept going with the girl , the guy came in the room again and tried to finger me so i got super pissed and I forced a conversation, he told me my best friend is aware of the whole thing and it’s cause she’s on her period and then she’s drunk that’s why things are currently the way it is . I told him I still wasn’t cool with it cause regardless if we were going to have a threesome , I would have loved it for my friend to be present knowing we got down and all that , he was saying he wouldn’t tell her and all or that am I scared he’s going to be rrunning his mouth about what we did . I told him that I’m not bothered about what ever he says , but I gotta give some respects to my friend and even if she’s aware I better let her be involved than doing it behind her . He then told me not to talk about it to my friend and all that, that he really likes my friend and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her , I was looking at him with soo much disgust but we agreed on him not coming to the room , so I went in , told the stripper to leave cause I needed to be by myself . When I was alone I had deep thoughts to myself, should I tell my best friend what really happened or I should not cause I’m scared it might ruin what they had to probably the guy my turn tables and lie . And secondly , I want to know if I should go ahead with the threesome eventually when my best friend and I hang out again because she has the guy already and he really likes her , and as for me ,I’m yet to getting a boyfriend or even getting a guy that likes me for me , I can’t get down with a guy I don’t like suddenly or cause it’s the sake of a threesome , I feel like I would be at a losing end. Please don’t judge me , I just need your advice on what to do as I am very confused right now . Please keep this message very anon , if she sees this on twitter she would know it’s her and it would make it worse . Help a sis oloni!
4. November 2017
All messages here are anon. The guy you’re talking about seems like he was pressuring you. Talk to your friend.
Oloni
Hi oloni basically I have been dealing with a girl in a relationship since February and obviously when your in talking girls tell their friends who their talking to and stuff so I was on my girl phone on her chat with her friends and within the talking stage she was telling her friends am ugly like this girl was going on like am some troll lool her friends used to back it and say he’s not that bad and stuff anyway now we’re in October we still go out and she tells her friends she loves me and she does like this girl obbesed with man but what am asking is should I be offended with the way she used to talk about me to her friends cause I won’t lie she was actually boying it it even confuses me how loved up we are
4. November 2017
That’s so mean! Talk to her about it
oloni
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