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Faking The Big O: 5 Reasons Why He Isn’t Making You Cum

Whenever the subject of faking an orgasm is brought up I get a brief fleeting thought back to that episode of Sex and The City ‘They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?’ when Miranda opted for faking orgasms with the guy she was dating since his efforts of pleasing her just weren’t cutting it. Or even that infamous When Harry Met Sally scene when Sally demonstrated to an unconvinced Harry just how easy it is to act out a very convincing orgasm because let’s face it some guys really can’t tell the difference…or maybe they just don’t care because either way he’s getting his.

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If there’s one thing about dating that irks me it’s the possibility of entering a situation where one aspect or even all aspects of the relationship is faked in the pursuit of instant gratification. The dating game can be a frustrating one as there is the need to weed out the fakery in an attempt to find something worth our time. At least with Simply Oloni INTROS the weeding is done for us then maybe situations like Miranda and Sally’s can be avoided because who has the time to be protecting a man’s feelings when we are not feeling anything?

It’s not always as easy to blurt out our issues in a relationship especially if it is a fairly new one. There is always a backstory behind faking The Big O and most of us have done it but if you do it often there comes a time when enough is enough – we all deserve to cum. So what exactly is the problem? Before you start thinking something is medically wrong with you here are five other possible reasons:

You are tense:

When you are not completely comfortable your body will let off signals. You don’t understand why no matter what he does you just can’t loosen up. Maybe deep down you know you are not really that turned on. There could also be a lot on your mind for you to even concentrate on the sensations and respond to it or you could be having an inner battle with yourself because you are doing something you may not be completely ready for or doing it with the wrong person.

You are concentrating too hard:

On the other hand you could be turned on and determined to climax meaning you are not allowing yourself to really get lost in the moment, which inevitably leaves you unable to climax.

You don’t want to bruise his ego:

The fact that he may be close has you worried that it is taking too long for you and you start to feel discouraged or worried he is going to get bored. You could also be tired, no longer in the mood and you just want to get it over and done with. It might still feel pleasurable but every time that spark seems to alight it fizzles out just as quickly because he has missed the spot…numerous times. You know he is not really rubbing on your clit and every time he asks you, “You like that?” you make the necessary encouraging sounds because you may have been discouraged after moving his hand a few times to locate the nub. And when the deed is done you can’t be bothered to bring it up as it could lead to his deflated ego and something you will never hear the end of because you already made him feel like he knew what he was doing. You fear voicing how you really feel will make the sex different it will no longer be natural or comfortable and the fact that he didn’t make you cum hanging over your heads like a thick cloud that refuses to clear up. So not wanting to bruise his ego cue the fake porn star moans, staggered breaths, eye rolls, shaking and back clawing.

You are still learning about how and where you like to be touched:

You have never really explored your body to know what you like and you are feeling too shy to let him know this. Maybe you don’t want to seem inexperienced or scared it makes sex seem like a chore and become a turn off. All this leads back to the main point that I am making in this post: you are in your thoughts too much, which inevitably kills the mood for you. There are a few things you can be certain of when you decided to have sex with someone you either want to be there or you don’t, you are either comfortable or you are having sex to prove something – maybe to yourself or even to him – you are either enjoying it or you are not and you can either communicate how you feel or keep your mouth clamped shut until it’s time for your grand finale performance.

You are not helping yourself:

You fear you can’t orgasm because you have never had one. Maybe you feel like it will never happen for you since you have tried by yourself and you have tried with other people and it’s never happened and you’re used to faking it but before you write off orgasms completely try to take control of the situation if you don’t feel like communicating verbally. This is a great example of how actions really do speak louder than words as you can make him watch you show him what feels good to you, together you can discover what works and what doesn’t but just don’t suffer in silence. Yes sex without climaxing can still be pleasurable but don’t limit yourself ladies there is so much more to cum.

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Paige Vahla

Paige Vahla

Simply Oloni's Sex & Relationships Editor. I'm either writing or thinking about what to write next.

1 Comment

  1. June 6, 2016 at 7:59 pm — Reply

    Nice article … Damn

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