Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hey Oloni, well done on the success of your blog. My dilemma sounds twisted, but love can make you follow through with some things. I’m getting married next fall and I know my husband to be wants kids. Three actually, we dated for 3 years but I’ve been keeping the secret of be able to bear children. I found out when I was 23 after an illness. I have no idea what I should do. The truth will make him leave
10. July 2015
You can’t marry him knowing this. At least give him the chance to fairly say the words I do. Women all over the world are in happy marriages, who have adopted or fostered a child.
Hey Oloni my ex and I are co-parenting our 8 year old. He’s a great dad but every time our girl stays with her granmama (his mom of course) she always tells me how she got smacked. I don’t like or agree with it. I’ve told him and even though our little girl can be troublesome I’m totally against his ma putting her hand on our kid. He doesn’t see an issue and said she will be returning. I don’t want her spending weekends or holidays there, but now he’s asking me to tell to his mom. I don’t think it’s fair. What should I do?
7. July 2015
If you don’t want your child going there, you’re perfectly within your right to do so. The problem is some elder people still think it’s acceptable to discipline a child how they see fit.. Especially relatives. Have a conversation and let him know you’re against her method of trying to correct your kid. It’s his mum, so he should be having a word with her, he should be explaining how you do not wish to have others put their hands on your child.
***** My nan was trying to hook me up with a much older guy from my country who also lives here in London. I’ve told my mum this is wrong and she completely understands. I told her I will never marry a boy from my own country. She told me that’s okay but she wouldn’t accept a black boy as she thinks they’re only loyal to black girls.. (Which is very pathetic to say) I want to marry a black boy obviously. I recently got into a relationship with a black boy..what do I do? Do I keep it a secret or what? And now my mums noticed that I like this boy, she knows he’s black but she doesn’t want to accept it. But it doesn’t bother me what my parents think as long as I like him. We’ve known each other for a while now and we will eventually move in together in a year or so, he plans on proposing in a few years but how do I tell my mum this? He wants to meet my mum, which id love to but he’s gonna wonder why he isn’t going to meet my mum… And she won’t allow me to bring guys over anyway because she believes in sex before marriage. I think that’s another reason why she doesn’t want me to have a boyfriend..but I’ve been having sex for nearly 3 years now. So I’m just stuck in this sticky situation. Thank you very much, hope to hear from you soon.
7. July 2015
It would have helped if i knew how old you were. Because I’m wondering if your mother is protective because your you may be below 21. Regardless, how she feels about black boys is totally false .. black, white, orange and purple men are loyal to who they LOVE. That is it. I think you need to have a word with your mum, and let her know. If you’re pref is black men, then that can’t change because she forbids it. Brining guys home she can forbid as it’s under her roof, but it’s better to let her know how you’ve been feeling and who you’re dating so it doesn’t become a surprise.
Hi, I’ve been talking to this guy for a short period of time and something just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m just taking it at a steady pace, trying to get know him more and suss him out. My problem is that he comes across as the possessive type to the point where I’m actually scared. The reason being is that he questions who my male friends are (I don’t have many) and those are childhood friends. I’m starting to see things in him that I don’t like as a result of this – the accusations are really uncalled for and I’m baffled because we aren’t even together. I thought he was a reasonably nice guy up until now. At first I thought it was a joke and waited for the haha bit but now it’s just -__-. If my phone is busy he will send me a screenshot of it. I think I have my answer on what I should do but what’s your take on this?
7. July 2015
My take is that this clear red sign is telling you to find the closest exit. Even if he was your boyfriend, acting like that is still very scary. Quite insecure actually.
Hi oloni! My dilemma is this: last year I was seeing this guy & it was pretty serious for me but he wasn’t all that interested in a serious relationship with me. I fell pregnant & when I told him he then told me had a girlfriend. Fast forward just over a year and he’s still with his girlfriend and I’m still in love with him.. He told me he’s never been as unhappy as he is with her and he said when we were together we had fun and he enjoyed my company. I know I’m dumb and I should just move on but a big part of me just wants us to be together and a family. Do I try for him or let it go???
7. July 2015
Let it go. You are more than ‘fun’ and ‘great’ or ‘good company’. If he wanted to be without her… He would. Couples who have been married for 10 years get a divorced once they’re unhappy. What’s really stopping his dishonest self from leaving his so called unhappy relationship? Don’t waste your time. He’s a joke and you need to try to meet other people.
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