Should You Keep Dating A Guy You Are Not Sexually Compatible With?

Sexual compatibility is said to be one of the components to creating a great long-lasting relationship. It is an energy that creates a force field around you and the other individual. Lust is pretty hard to ignore but when it erupts quickly and intensely it can have you confusing it with other strong emotions such as infatuation or even love. Some of the best relationships are slow burners at first. But what if you have the best relationship you could possibly ask for and the attraction is mutual yet that sexually chemistry is just not there? (RECOMMENDED READING: IS GOOD SEX MORE IMPORTANT THAN A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?) It may be a one-sided incompatibility that has resulted to you faking your orgasms. (RECOMMENDED READING: FAKING THE BIG O: 5 Reasons Why He Isn’t Making You Cum) It causes me to question whether it is possible to work on something in a potential relationship that was never there to begin with and should you even bother if you’re just dating?

Dating is definitely a learning experience (RECOMMENDED READING: 5 Lessons You Learn When You Are Torn Between Two Guys) you are opening yourself up to new experiences emotionally and sexually to potential partners. There should never be a need to tone down your sexual desires in fear that it is too kinky, freaky or embarrassing. You should never have to put up with someone who is selfish in the bedroom, lie through oral sex you are not really enjoying or feel like you have to match the other person’s stamina in the bedroom. Whether you have or haven’t explored your sexuality, you are beginning to or you are with someone who is more sexually experienced than you. It is all part of the fun getting to know each other’s bodies is just another aspect of the two of you getting to know each other. At the end of the day, that person may have been with other people but they have never been with you. You are both learning about each other’s bodies. No matter how much or how little experience one or both of you may have your bodies react to touch differently. As with anything in life if you have to force it to work it was never meant to work in the first place. There’s only so long you can pretend to enjoy something.

We all know that communication is the easiest yet hardest way to express how you feel. No one really wants to have that kind of conversation especially if you haven’t been dating for that long. But it’s one of your limited options if you really want to make it work but the sex is putting you off. You can also try communicating without words and simply show him what you like. But that may take away the excitement for you, it could feel rehearsed like nothing about the sex with him flows organically putting you off even more. If you can come to some sort of compromise, great, but that causes me to wonder…if you can’t act out your sexual desires with the one person you are being intimate with how long will it take before you involuntarily seek it elsewhere and vice versa? If you are steering towards being with the person long term sexual desire is a pretty strong emotion to suppress. You’ll be stuck in a situation where you feel unsatisfied due to your sexual appetite. If good dick is usually so hard to let go of why would you stay if you are just getting mediocre sex?

But then that brings up the point that strong, fulfilling relationships are built so if he is someone that you are willing to invest time in – that doesn’t exclude in the bedroom, right? But if you are just casually dating why should you wait around for someone to improve when you could find someone else to fulfil your sexual needs? So that must mean that whether or not you should date a guy you are not sexually compatible with depends on whether or not you can see yourself in a relationship with this guy. But if that attraction isn’t there to the point where you find him repulsive then that is completely different to a guy just not being able to please you the way you want. Just like any aspect of compatibility in a potential relationship if sex plays a large part in a relationship to you this should be taken seriously. It can be frustrating when you are made to feel as if you are not allowed to be okay with it like it’s something so insignificant to end a relationship over. People who may be giving their opinions on whether you should continue seeing him or not aren’t going to be having sex with him, you are, and what’s the point of starting something you know you can’t finish – or you’ll probably have to finish yourself off?

Have you ever dated a guy you were not sexually compatible with? What did you do? Share your experiences by tweeting us over at @Simply Oloni