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Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymouslyPlease make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book a private call here

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Hey oloni. I met this guy at an event and we really hit it off. Turned into dms then texting (which I initiated) but I always seem to start convo first which is kinda bugging me. I feel like I’m annoying him. I’ve never made moves on a guy before and now I feel odd. I am a old fashioned guy should court a girl girl but I do understand that mutual effort is there. Now the table has turned! Should I carry on talking to him and even suggest going out? Or step back a big since he seems to be airing me in the middle of convos(which are great btw) 30. June 2015

He doesn’t seem interested, but do NOT let this discourage you, continue doing what you’re doing and you will get a result.


Hey Oloni, ****NEED HELP!**** I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years it’s been a good relationship he is my first love he treats me well. We’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve got through it all. I’ve stuck by him in situations you wouldn’t even believe. He comes from a troubled past but he’s always been good to me. Recently i found out that he had committed a heinous crime, I know he’s changed and he’s not like that anymore but I can’t get over what he’s done. I can’t continue in our relationship knowing what he’s done. I can’t even hold a conversation with him properly knowing that he’s done what he has. I don’t think I can get over it either. I love him and he loves me even more than I do but I have to end this relationship. How do I go about it? Make it clear that we can’t be together. 30. June 2015

You have to sit him down and have conversation about it, open up to him and allow him to know what’s on your mind exactly. Then explain that for this you can’t continue with the relationship.


Hey Oloni was chatting to this guy that i met from Pof everything was going great we have a lot in common we were planning out date and during a casual convo and had an outburst his sexual desire i then spoke to him about why he think this is remotely acceptable. He then tried to explain and when i shut his reasons down he then apologized expained hes not after sex and if he was he would go elsrwhere or be blunt and tell me rather than getting to know me and planning dates with me next day messaged me normally but i was still mortified with what had happened the night before and i told him i now feel as if he has an agenda he then said it was a one of outburst and he is sorry and i shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him he’s not after sex but at that moment in time he felt he wanted to let me know a little more about him as a person and he knows it was inappropriate i didn’t know what to say i just replied right ok. What should i do ? I’ve grown to like his personality before this incident and I’m used to chatting to him from morning to evening should i give him the second chance but obviously be weary or just completey let go 30. June 2015

It’s entirely up to you. He’s apologised for his error.. if you can forgive him, then give the guy a chance. If it’s completely put you off him, then don’t bother. Men can be inappropriate at times, you did the right thing by shutting it down.


So i have been with my boyfriend for almost two years he is a white American and i am black. He has always loved black girls all his ex girlfriends have been black. He even studied African American history whilst he was at college. Well recently he wanted to do some role play and he suggested i play his slave and properly dress up as a slave and everything even call him master. I dont think im too comfortable with the idea it seems he fetishizes me. What do i do? 30. June 2015

Everyone has their limits when it comes to fantasies and clearly this is yours. You have to speak to him and let him know this makes you uncomfortable ask to do something else, where both of you can be happy.


Hey Oloni. I met this guy some months ago who has a girlfriend (he’s never once lied about his situation) and although there was a mutual attraction between us we agreed to “just stay friends”. However over time we’ve become quite close and have had sex quite a couple times. It was never something I wanted to do, just for the fact that I’d hate for my man to be sleeping with someone else, plus no one wants to be the “homewrecker”, but I feel like I developed feelings for this guy and by some of the things he says I think he feels the same. I would never want to ruin anyones relationship so I don’t know whether I should stop talking to this guy altogether or act on my feelings towards him and get him to make a decision?? 30. June 2015

Similar to a dilemma I just answered. If he can cheat on his current girlfriend that should be an automatic red flag. Move n and don’t look back before this situation becomes even messier.


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