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Hi Oloni. I have a dilemma. Every guy I have dated (be in 2 dates or a relationship) when things have ended now have gfs. Like literally straight away. Am I the gf fluffer? Or just terrible luck with men? I meet loads (I’m a confident, intelligent BW who is quite good-looking) but with men my luck has run short. Another one has told me today he now has a gf which is why he’s been less communicative. I just said ok. Best of luck. But inside I’m hurt a little.
15. January 2017
Oh darling, that must be extremely annoying! The only way you’d be the girlfriend fluffer is if you’re doing everything the girlfriend should be doing. So are you committing outside of a commitment? Are you giving too much of yourself? I think you need to find a new approach to dating and see how that works. Don’t be too disheartened love, these things happen quite often.
Oloni
Hi Oloni! Is there ever any reason that a whatsapp message is not replied to within 24 hours or am I being made a fool of?
15. January 2017
Their attention is elsewhere.
Oloni
T/W -SEXUAL ABUSE* Hey oloni, I’ve been wth my boyfriend for 2years and everything is great. But this one time like 2 months ago I was home alone with his dad because he was at work and his dad raped me. Tears are literally falling down on my screen as I’m writing this and I’m shaking. I haven’t told anyone and I just want to kill myself. He done it so violently, he didn’t just go up my vagina he done anal aswell and it still hurts. Oloni, I’ve lost so much weight and I’m so depressed. I’ve gone from a size 12 to a size 8-10 in literally two months. I don’t know how to deal with this, everytime I close me eyes I see his face, when I’m in the dark I feel like I can smell him and feel him against me. What’s so sad about this is that before any of this happened everything in my life was looking great. I got accepted into Cambridge to study law, my social life was great, I was making money and Allah was opening doors for me everywhere. I feel like I’m not myself anymore, all I do is focus on uni work because it’s the only thing that distracts me. My relationship with my boyfriend is a shambles and nothing is going right, every time I look at him I see his dads pale eyes and olive skin. I feel like it’s my fault I got raped, maybe if I didn’t wear the skirt I did he wouldn’t have hurt me. I’ve stopped wearing make up, I’ve stopped wearing nice clothes, I’ve stopped praying and I smoke weed to just take the pain away for a while. What should I do? I just feel so suicidal.
15. January 2017
I am so sorry to hear about what you’re going through, and would much rather prefer if you could email me, so we could speak privately. Please do get in contact ASAP. simplyoloni@gmail.com
Oloni
Hiya, so my boyfriend wants me to delete my social media. Now first off it sounds crazy and controlling but my social medias have large follower counts, a majority of which are males. He fears males going on social media to ‘find’ me, he doesn’t like the idea of other men looking at his girlfriend so easily essentially. Now of course everyone is protective of their partner but is this too much? We have spoken and he has agreed he will be happy for me to have social media for people I personally know etc. Is he being reasonable here or extreme? I understand his reasons but I don’t feel I should do such to please him?
12. January 2017
Your boyfriend is very annoying and insecure. Do not delete your account, what an extreme request from a partner and may I add, insane. He needs to figure out whether or not he can trust you, full stop.
Today it’ll be this, then tomorrow he’ll change his mind and suggest you delete it in total, despite it just being for friends and family. I also think you should start paying attention to these red flags, because it’s quite scary and very controlling.
Oloni
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Hi oloni, I’ve been seeing a boy for 3 months now and he seemed like a decent guy ..he took me winter wonderland paid for everything bought me gifts and all sorts he told me he wanted to be with me and stuff and he told me he wasn’t gonna waste my time he put me on as his display picture on his WhatsApp and social media.3rd time we met we ended up having sex which is not what we wanted to happen. I’ve never had sex with someone who I wasn’t in a relationship with and I was disappointed in myself. We continued to speak after but it felt different like he was just about the sex he took me to a 5 star hotel in london a week after which I wasn’t to sure about but I thought it would be us spending time together there and doing things together as there was a pool there and everything.when we got there he literally wouldn’t want to do anything but stay in the room I was angry I didn’t come there to just have sex with him I went because I wanted to spend time with him. After that day he hardly contacted me but this was usually as he isn’t the type of guy to text that much. I texted him a day later to say shall we cut this off it seems like the sex changed everything( I said this as a test to see what he wanted I didn’t want to cut it off) he agrees and I tried calling him and he doesn’t reply and airs me. Shall I take it as that what we had is over? He texted me saying I cut it off. I feel like I’m just left confused and upset. Shall I just forget about him? I would be very greatful if you could help 🙁 x
12. January 2017
Hey girl, it sounds like he was grafting to have a sexual relationship. A lot of men are guilty of this, they put in all that work and effort instead of simply saying, they’re not looking for anything serious. Forget this dude, you’ll find better and what you want hun.
Oloni
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