Ask me sex and relationship questions here anonymously. Please make questions as *brief* as possible to make sure you get a response. Please be aware that some dilemmas may be posted on social media platforms and cannot be removed on there or Ask Oloni once submitted. Not all questions sent can be answered due to the high amount received daily. For a QUICK response book aprivate callhere
Hello gorgeous. I have a dilemma as I’m dating a man with a child, I don’t know if I should be concerned, worried etc that he has his baby mamma all over social media? We’re in a serious relationship to the point I will soon move in with him, but I get super jealous and paranoid when he likes her pictures on Instagram, he has her on Fb, snapchat and so on. I know they’re bn for life because they have a daughter together but it just gets to me. What should I do?
14. June 2017
You have to understand that the mother of his child will always be family. She’s not an ex he chooses to be cool with. They have a kid together and both have the responsibility to raise this child and show that parents who aren’t together can still have a healthy planotic relationship.
Saying that, I do understand what might be making you uncomfortable. No woman wants to feel like she’s sharing her boyfriend. Yes, they have a good relationship but maybe a conversation with him can share that there might need to be a few boundaries e.g social media.
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been in a relationship with an amazing man for just over 2 years. I love him so much, I genuinely adore him, I fancy him, I trust him and I feel very lucky to have him. The only issue is the sex… at best it’s average, at worst it’s 2 minutes of appalling. He’s a bit older than me and doesn’t have any problems with libido, he’s always horny and quite passionate but I’m always left disappointed. I mentioned it to him once, carefully but precisely and he was very upset about it, but we talked it through and I can really see that he is trying hard but it’s no use and I don’t have the heart to tell him this. I’ve tried prolonged foreplay, toys etc but what I really want is penetration from him, that’s what does it for me. I know I love him and can’t imagine life without him but I worry that me not being sexually satisfied is unhealthy for the relationship. Am I overreacting? Should I sacrifice great sex when he gives me everything else I need from a man and more? Am I being selfish? Would love your advice on this xxx
14. June 2017
I read your dilemma as if it were a Carrie Bradshaw column. Hey hun, what you’re going through isn’t bizarre at all, many couples have faced this issue and while some have improved their sex lives, other have decided to part ways as they weren’t willing to compromise on sex. Sexual compatibility is important to several
Carry on communicating with your partner and get into the practice of teaching him how you enjoy being pleasured. Have sex more than usual as a way for him to study your erogenous zones. If you enjoy sexual penetration a lot, incorporate sex dildos for extra pleasure and just in case your boyfriend finishes early. Sex is more than just both your bodies intertwining, it’s touching, it’s stroking, kissing, reaching your climax and saying.. ‘Let’s go again’.
Hi oloni, I’ve been seeing this guy for the past couple of months since my breakup. I want to go back to my ex but I can’t stop having sex with my f*#k buddy. The sex is so good and we can’t seem to stop ourselves. How do I get myself to stop having sex with this guy and focus on my ex.
13. June 2017
Block his number (sex buddy) and off your socials. Remind yourself as to why you want to be with your ex and put your energy back into that.
I hope you’re also getting back with your boyfriend for the right reason. Have you’ve solved what split you apart the first time around?
Oloni
Hi Oloni, I’ve been stealing from my boyfriend and It’s getting out of hand and I don’t know how to talk to him about it. My boyfriend is a drug dealer, so he makes a lot of money and I’m still a student so he leaves his money and stock at my student house. Whilst it’s there and he isn’t, I often take some of the stock and just a bit of the cash, around £20-50 each time so it’s not so noticeable. He has noticed and questioned a couple of times but I’m always able to blame another student or deflect. The thing is, he is older and more financially stable than I am so he can afford things which I can’t but he thinks that I can because of student loan. I don’t know how to approach a conversation with him about my money struggles because I’m embarrassed and don’t want him to think Im a broke gold digger when I care for him genuinely. Any tips please?
13. June 2017
I am not giving you advice for your drug dealing boyfriend.
Oloni
Hi Oloni. Question about going through someone’s phone caught my attention. I’m good friends with a group of girls, been right since G7. I recently had one of the girls’ phone with me and went through her messages to find out they have a group chat together and when I typed in my name, it showed a bunch of messages of them talking crap about me and another friend who is also part of the group. The messages dated from months ago and I have reason to believe they have been doing this for a while, while still being super friendly (bestfriendly) to us. Now I know I must confront them, I just don’t know how to go on about it. I know them and I know they will make it seem like I was in the wrong for reading the messages and that their points were valide (TO THEM). I need encouragement and advice on how to have the conversation, and does this mean the end of the friendships?
13. June 2017
I once did this years ago. I found out a guy who was supposed to be my friend was talking crap about me and the first thing I did is politely kick him out my house with NO explanation.. actually I think I said I was tired. The following day he said hi to me when we saw each other at a party and I quoted exactly what he said about me. He was in shock and I didn’t care.
I shared that story because although you’re both wrong, it shows your friendship is quite fake. Friends do not talk terribly about each other, especially in a group chat. That’s disgusting. Tell them what you saw, but be ready to end the friendship.
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