4 Signs You Are Timing The Title

They say all good things come to those who wait. But what if you have been patient in the past and nothing good has come from it? You have found yourself in promising almost-relationships that suddenly came to a standstill. This, in turn, has led to you calculating just how long your potential partner should take before making things official with you. Your past experiences have reminded you that your first responsibility is to yourself safeguarding your heart, emotions, sanity and time. However, it is easy to also let your past experiences pollute your present situation as insecurities can suddenly kick into overdrive causing your mind to constantly be on a high-speed spin cycle. One of the main questions circulating your mind could be: why hasn’t he made it official yet?

So when does safeguarding your heart simply become timing the title? Here are our top four signs:

Passive aggressiveness:

You have perfected the art of communicating with the use of signals and hints. You find yourself getting annoyed at him for small insignificant things as you desperately find a way to channel all your frustration on to something else because addressing how you really feel presents the possibility that it is not reciprocated. Although you are unsure of where you really stand you are attempting to avoid the dreaded, “what are we?” conversation at all costs. You may even like the pace you are going at but you are fearful that he may like it too much and not want to move. You do not feel like it is your place and that you have been wedged in an uncomfortable position where there are things you want to address about your “relationship” – if you can even call it that.

Frequently dwelling on the possibility of starting over:

The bottom line is that you do not want to have your time disrespected again. You are very much aware that males can be misleading about their true intentions – intentions that have one-sided benefits leading to disappointment that you know all too well about and you just don’t think you have it in you to try again. But that is a part of the dating process finding mutual compatibility and accepting that not everyone you start speaking to or date will result in an actual relationship. Dating can consist of rejection, losing interest, changing your mind, people being on their best behaviour then showing their true colours when they get comfortable. It can be exhausting but it simply reinforces exactly what you want in a relationship and reminds you to ensure that you are both on the same page.

Overlooking and tolerating things you don’t like in hopes of getting into a relationship sooner:

Due to your reluctance to start over you tend to find yourself overlooking possible warning signs in your almost-relationship and eliminating any form of confrontation to speed things along. You are adamant to showcase just how much of a good girlfriend you would be highlighting that maybe your pursuit of the title has overpowered your actual feelings for the person.

You may also be enjoying your feelings for the person and have become attached so quickly that you do not even realise you are overlooking obvious warning signs or hints he may be giving which indicate that you are both not on the same page with where the relationship is headed. That is why it is important to keep in mind that if at any point the situation is benefiting him more than it is for you, you feel as though you have no right to express your feelings or feel that you are no longer comfortable and you are hanging on in hopes of a relationship that you should move on especially if you have been communicative about these issues and not simply jumped to conclusions.

Putting all your eggs in one basket:

For many people, the dating or the “talking” stage can be a frustrating one because you do not know how invested you should be in that person. And sometimes you cannot help but put all your eggs in one basket. It is always advised that if you find yourself in that position to simply be smart about it since you only have the one basket.

This does not mean you have to keep the person at arms length so your emotions don’t take over it’s simply about being aware of the situation you have gotten yourself into, aware of what you deserve and setting boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate. Just like you should with any new relationship. Time will not be wasted and disrespect is not tolerated. The right people who respect your boundaries will stay. So when you know what you are truly getting yourself into from the start your time cannot be wasted because you have chosen to put your time into it. You have to go with the individual flow of your relationship, things may hinder the progress such as work demands, your education or maybe you might even be doing a long-distance relationship. You do not know what the future holds between the two of you but you have made the mutual decision to see where the progression of your relationship takes you.

Dating is healthy and exploring before exclusivity is important. But it is not for everyone (SUGGESTED READING: How To Survive A Pity Date). But that is the beauty about dating you can date whomever and however you like.

Have you ever timed the title? Tweet us over at @SimplyOloni