How To Survive A Pity Date

‘Oloni, isn’t this a blog where you’re supposed to give advice and not encourage women to go out on pity dates?’ – Well no, lol giving advice is just one of the features on this blog. Simply Oloni is an online platform for sex and relationships, so we talk about everything that happens in the dating world and pity dates, is one of them.. Now that’s sorted, let’s start the blog ey?

A pity date is when you go out with someone you don’t find yourself attracted to or even like romantically. However, you don’t say no to them for your own reasons, allowing you to agree to their offer to go on a date out of pure pity. If you haven’t been on one, you’ve encouraged a friend to go for the food or you know someone who has been out with a guy who literally wore her down.

I was 19 when I went on my first ever pity date. His name was Tobi and he was such a nice guy. He was sweet, had great manners, tall and dark skinned.. But I just wasn’t feeling him. Tobi had asked me out so many times after a break up with my ex and looking back the only reason I went was because I was running out of excuses and he was incredibly persistent. He took me out to eat and see Avatar and I had to pretend that I wasn’t at the cinema a week before watching it, when it first got released.

Below I’ve decided to share 3 tips on how to survive a pity date if you ever find yourself in this position.

1 Get to know him more
It may sound crazy but pity dates aren’t always a bad thing, you never know, but you could end up marrying that person. …(Marriage, really Oloni?) I have a friend called Marie who recently got engaged to her boyfriend of 4 years. The first time, they got together was similar to my first pity date story. She too had just splitted up with an ex and decided to go out with a guy who was incredibly infatuated with her. She got to know him more then, voila.

Not everyone is as lucky as Marie, but if you’re going out with someone new, spend the night by engaging in conversation and getting to know that person more. They could end up becoming a source of light in your life, who knows?

2 Be Nice!
If you have decided to go on a pity date, be nice! Another pity date I went on when I was much younger involved me being semi mean to a guy (I don’t even know why I went… probably for the free food, not too sure) . I was rude and on my phone throughout the dinner and even after he made a comment about it, I still carried on being a slight bitch, by searching for what was trending on Twitter and ignoring him. I feel bad now, because he was actually a really cool guy. We still talk as friends now and laugh about it.

3 Escape route
At first you thought it was a good idea, it’s not like you made other plans for that evening. But once you’re with him, you suddenly realise you can’t stand your date and remember why you thought long and hard about saying ‘yes’, to spending some time together. So what do you do? Well you can make something up and tell him you’ve just remembered you have to be somewhere or you have something to do. Text a friend and have them call saying there’s an emergency… Or you can just be honest, thank him for his time and explain that you’d rather go home.

These type of dates can be fun to talk about later and it can also be an experience. However, never feel pressured to go out on a date, if you’re positive you have no interest in him whatsoever. The only thing worse than a pity date is the pity sex that could follow. Welp.

Have you ever been on a pity date? Tweet me over at @Oloni telling me your story.

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Dami Olonisakin

Dami Olonisakin

Editor-In-Chief and Founder of Simply Oloni.

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