Before You Hit Send

There will come a time where you are put in the emotionally conflicting position of deciding whether to text someone from your past that you know you shouldn’t really be texting. However despite the fact that it could reopen some haphazardly stitched wounds something still avidly nudges you towards doing it. As a recovering chronic drunk-texter I have sent my fair share of ‘I miss you’s’ to an ex – but on the bright side my past mistakes has provided me with a few helpful pointers that you can take into consideration before you hit send (you never know, it might just save you from the dreaded morning after when you are pulsating with regret – and possibly a hangover).

I could set the scene for you but we all know how this goes: you construct the initial message, hesitate and begin to back space, alter and reword it. The impulsiveness of your actions might distract you from the echoes of protests against it in your head – it’s almost like your pride’s voice is being muffled by your impulse’s big hand clasped over its mouth.

Try to recognise what has brought you here and take a moment to consider what you may be about to let back into your life. You could just be feeling a little lonely, horny, craving affection and attention – or a killer combination of everything mentioned and more. Maybe there is a throbbing in between your legs as you reminisce on all the good moments that compensated for the bad and it’s been a while so you find yourself asking: what’s the harm in just saying hi? But you know fully well it’s never just “hi” – not with someone you have a loaded history with, still, you continue to talk yourself into it because this is someone familiar, someone easily accessible and someone who won’t cause the body count to rise.

Don’t let missing someone momentarily deceive you into thinking it means more. I should know, as a very emotional person, I tend to let my emotions get the best of me at times. It took me a while to realise that sometimes when you miss someone that’s all it is and it doesn’t always require for you to take any further action. It is important to see everything for what it is currently – not what it was or can be – especially when you are contemplating whether to reach out to an ex or not.

Sometimes panic sets in and it has you questioning whether you are going to find someone again. This is simply insecurity masquerading as rational thoughts all so your thumb hovering over the send button can finally take the plunge. But stay with me a little longer, every action leads to consequences that set forward a chain of events that could cause you to stumble back into an unhealthy cycle, a cycle that cannot be broken without stepping off the roundabout and adjusting to the temporary dizziness.

So if you were to send the text just make sure your vision is fully adjusted and you are not trying to scramble back on the roundabout because it is all you know and you would rather feel dizzy than be placed in a new environment, out of your comfort zone and dealing with the aftershock from the climax of your relationship. A bad situation can become distorted when you are in an emotionally vulnerable state to soothe your fears. But ask yourself realistically: Will he read your paragraph? What do you really mean when you say: ‘I miss you?’ ‘How are you?’ ‘What are you doing tonight?’ Do you really want to go back down that road? What’s next? Because a text leads to a phone call, leads to physical contact, leads to questioning the contact. Maybe you get the answers you want to hear but it will more than likely lead to more questions that backtracks your progress. If you want to move on it lies solely on whether you have made the decision to. Time will continue ticking with or without you, decision made or not, message sent, drafted or deleted. So, what’s it going to be?