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5 Questions You Should Ask Yourself If You Are Considering Leaving Him

A relationship coming to an end is never something pleasant but neither is doubting whether you should even be in one in the first place. It may not be as simple as leaving just because you are unhappy or your feelings towards the person have changed. There is usually no turning back from deciding to turn your back on your relationship. It is very common to find yourself in two minds about how you feel hoping that your doubts are temporary or that you are just going through a rough spell in your relationship. You may feel like you are rooted on the spot making the decision process almost impossible so here are five questions you should ask yourself if you are in this position:

 

Are you settling?

Is loneliness keeping you rooted on the spot? Do you have a sense of panic wondering if your current partner was your last chance – that you will not be able to find anyone better? This can signify that you may need to be alone for a while to get to know yourself and love your own company so you don’t feel like you need a significant other to make you feel worthy (SUGGESTED READ: 9 Traits Of A Relationship Junkie). It’s your life which means things will happen at its own individual pace. Do not ever feel the need to settle because you feel as if you are running out of time (SUGGESTED READ: 4 Signs You Are Timing The Title) or because the person you are currently with is the first person in a long time that has taken an interest in you and you fear you might be single for a while before you meet someone you genuinely like again.

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Have you gotten over past problems?

The past can easily become a lingering stagnant weight in your present if you have not dealt with it. Ignoring something will not make it go away it is simply another way of acknowledging a problem still exists. If you can’t accept a situation you can’t kick start the healing process. A temporary fix to an on-going problem can easily transform into an on-going cycle. If you always need someone to help you deal with something, the day when you are forced to deal with it on your own is going to be a scary reality check. It’s important to accept that you are hurt, as easy as it is to conceal something that’s all it is concealing not dealing with it. If you simply can’t seem to detach yourself from the past, whether yours, his or a combination of both how do you expect to move forward?

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Are you all talk and waiting for him to do all the action?

Words are powerful. But words are also repetitive. It is easy for someone to open their mouth and say whatever it is that they want you to hear. We all know certain things are easier said than done. Are his actions making you doubt his words? But are you also backing up your talk? Are you ensuring that you are the best example of how you desire to be treated?

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Have you honestly communicated how you feel?

By now you may have evaluated the situation, he’s either doing what he says he is doing or saying what he is going to do. Well, effort shouldn’t be one-sided. So if you know that you are putting everything into a relationship and all you are getting is half-hearted attempts and a lot of excuses on his part, examine the way you both communicate. Do you feel hesitant to talk to him about how you feel because you don’t want to seem like you’re constantly complaining? If you don’t say anything and let it slide the problem is simply going to arise again disguising itself as something else.

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Would you actually know when it’s time to leave?

We all want to see the results from the time we have invested into someone. So now you’ve asked yourself if he is really matching your effort? You don’t alter what you want for someone else and you stay true to yourself. This will give you the inner strength to detach yourself from something that no longer serves your life, makes you happy and assists in your growth. It is all about looking out for you and reminding yourself that there is no reason to settle – he didn’t – he got you.

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Paige Vahla

Paige Vahla

Simply Oloni's Sex & Relationships Editor. I'm either writing or thinking about what to write next.

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