Why The Friendzone Is Not A Bad Thing
The whole concept of the ‘friend zone’ has been bugging me for a while now, to a point I was almost ready to argue that it’s not even real, and if there is anything really wrong with setting a foundation of friendship in the first place. I’ve been battling the concept in my mind, and I have concluded it does exist but sometimes it’s a thing that you can end up doing to yourself rather than the person you desire placing you there. I also want to touch on the fact that I DO think it is important to build a friendship with somebody, so by default you should be ‘friend zoned’ for the betterment of the potential evolving of your relationship, but I think I will explore that more in another post…
Sometimes we just need to practice a little discernment in situations that concern matters of our heart, and the potential of our hopes being shattered because she has said ‘oh you are like a brother to me, such a great friend ’ *patronizingly pats you on the back* whilst she then goes on to tell you about the guy she is deeply crushing on. Or when he blatantly allocates you to ‘little sister’ status, and you know for sure you are nothing but the homie, no lover, just about still his friend.
Nobody, absolutely nobody likes to be rejected, be it subtly as you grow to realise the feelings are not mutual and you just have no chance regardless of effort factor, leaving you with that deep heart wrench, or when you blatantly try to make a move and they move their head back in disgust with a confused ‘wtf’ look on their face.
How did it come to this? How did I find myself here? You end up asking yourself…
So Many questions may run through the mind once you realise you are in that dreaded place left feeling frustrated and stuck with unrequited desires. But why in these situations do we neglect to acknowledge the part where you find yourself in this warzone of friendship because you didn’t state your intentions from the very beginning? Yes, sometimes these desires come after getting to know each other a little bit more, and by this time you may have already started walking down the friendship path. Fair dues, but being hesitant to communicate that your feelings may be changing within the confines of this ‘friendship’ is not going to help you one bit! You will only find yourself fulfilling the needs of the other person; whilst you secretly feel frustrated at the fact you are unable to push the boundaries of the friendships further. Communications of intentions is key in knowing how to move forward! Be it needing to fall back because they don’t feel the same way or opening up an honest conversation that can work in your favour. In the end most of us just need clarity. By not having clear intentions with somebody who you started connecting with can lead you down a rocky road you may not have wanted to stroll down, that’s where egos get crushed and hearts get traumatised in a path of confusion and frustration.
Even within friendships it should be reciprocal and balanced, where both parties feel satisfied in what they are getting out of the union, and both are aware of where they stand because it has been truthfully communicated.
