Why Love And Hip Hop Is Bad For Relationships

Love and Hip Hop is supposed to be a reality TV show that shares what happens behind the scenes in the music industry. We’re shown what goes on between artists in the studio and within their private lives. To many hip hop lovers such as myself, this would seem like a great way to spend an hour of your evening. You know,  watching upcoming and established artists on their grind with their other half by their side.

There’s so many of us who spend our time on YouTube watching videos of our favourite rapper in interviews, or just generally being silly with their friends. So why on earth doesn’t this sound like a great idea?

Love and Hip Hop was such a guilty pleasure for me once upon a time. I’d be a liar if I told you I watched it for Joe Budden’s killer one liners or Scrappy making up words which can’t be found in any dictionary. No, instead it was for the ‘Bad Girls Club’ cat-like fighting. The reality Maury Povich without him reading out who the father was. The throwing of drinks between grown ass women who were very aware that they’d see each other, plus the man they’re sleeping with, at the same event.

As a relationship and sex writer, I consciously decided to make an effort to stop watching the poison Mona ‘whatsherface’ Young landed on the TV screens and internet of several young women and men. I felt as if it was a very inappropriate representation of black women in relationships.

Each season has been no different from the last. (Or has it? I wouldn’t know). However, I know it encourages a mindset that some women allow into their love lives. It displays that it’s okay to be disrespected time and time again and still go back, it shows that it’s okay to behave like a psychotic ex. And what about that whole sleeping with your friend’s ex? I thought those were saved for soap television shows.

Some of the most unhealthiest love lives and “relationship goals” have been publicised through shows similar to Love and Hip Hop. I remember when I watched an episode where Kirk cheated with the ‘babysitter’ and went back home to his wife Rasheeda. This obvious story line was so focused on putting on a show, that they weren’t bothered by who was hurt in the process.

I also recall a time where my friend compared her love life to Joe Budden and his ex-Tahiry. Now, I’m a fan of Budden’s music, but everyone and their dog knows that the letter synonymous with his love life is honestly the letter X. Why on earth would you want to compare your situation to his?

The truth is a lot of these shows hardly display the reality of their life and instead feed us the fiction to keep them trending on social platforms such as Twitter, but in that process we’re taking what we see as gospel. It glamorizes the sick and twisted tales no one really wants to be in and has young adults hoping that Scrappy and Erica will hopefully get back together without Mama D interfering for once.