Valentine’s Day vs. Validation

I wouldn’t say that I am the typically romantic type. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love romance, and I completely swoon when I am shown loving affection from a man who has access to my heart. What I meant by this is, I am not generally impressed by the usual theatrics one could expect when a particular calendar date pops up mid February.

I had never really fallen into the hysteria that seems to consume us each year on February 14th, even whilst being in a relationship. It just felt like a normal day for me and I wasn’t really sure why I never seemed to have the same excitement for it that other women placed on the day. On reflection, I think the pressure of it looming over us each year seemed to have sucked out the beauty of love for me, and once I feel like something lacks authenticity and sincerity, I’m just not involved.

I don’t believe that love and showing of affection should have such pressure attached to it, but rather, should be allowed to flow naturally via the desires of the lovers involved, and this means romance can and should happen on any day, unrestricted. To me that brings the beauty and romance out of love, and is far more intimate and personal then subscribing to a tradition whose roots are questionable. I feel like Valentines Day has become another gimmick for consumerism to reign supreme whilst it snatches the essence of what it means to love and show gestures of affection.

A lot of people seem to seek validation in their relationship status from this day, but you have to ask yourself, if you need this day to make you feel of worth from your partner, there might just be something wrong.

Those women who are confused about whether their relationship is official or if they are the side chick or not, suddenly feel their position with said man is justified by how they are treated or showcased (on social media or to their friends) that particular day. Your relationship, gestures of love and respect should be showcased at all times, not just for pretense and likes on Instagram. The pressures of Valentines day seems to have many of us scrambling into artificial or disrespectful circumstances of ‘love’, just for show. It should not be about outside validation in the hopes of convincing your friends and those around you that you are in a loving relationship.

You should always be made to feel validated and loved in general, whilst with the person you love. Relationships are no easy feat and maintaining it is a task that you both need to pursue consistently. You should feel validated by what your partner is able to do for you relationship wise prior to this day, and all throughout your time together, if not you may just have to re-evaluate who you are to them and what it is you are really in.

I don’t want to invalidate this day for those who celebrate it sincerely and use it as a gesture to ignite romance into their relationship; I just personally cannot vibe with the superficiality that seems to seep into the occasion. I would urge those who celebrate it but seem to have lost the true value of the day are in constant need for superficial validation should take the time to reconnect with their love and practice true romance, I am sure it would be much more fulfilling.