Out of anger many couples resort to arguing, name calling and saying things that neither of them mean. Break ups tend to bring out our emotional sides and unfortunately sometimes they can bring out the worst in us. It’s important to remember that you are only human, and so is the person on the other end of the failed relationship. Breaking up may not always be amicable, but it can still be respectful. Your first goal should be to maintain your self respect. Whether your ex is handling things the right way, has hurt you, or is resorting to childish behavior or not you should always keep a leash on your negative thoughts, words and actions. Stooping to lower levels out of heart break can cause us to say and do things we regret. If you feel the need to hurt your ex out of spite in a way to get some sort of revenge, your best bet is to walk away. Always let a break up change you positively by empowering you. It should serve as your stepping tool to move on to better things, not as a back door that allows you to step out of character. Say less, think more, and focus on moving on instead of being angry at events that have already taken place.

The last thing you want when a relationship has reached it’s wits end is to hold on to what tiny strings you still have left. I get it, it is difficult to let go of someone who you may have been attached to for months or even years prior to this moment, however continuing to attach yourself can only cause you damage in the end. Many people continue to speak to their ex-partner after a breakup in the same way they did prior to, and for those who chose to end a relationship due to their partner’s negative behavior this only ENABLES them to continue behaving in the same way. Many ex-couples also continue to have sex after a break-up, which tends to mislead and cause a mix up of emotions. The sex may have been great, but it is not necessary. In order to move on or to see some sort of change or resolution to whatever relationship issues you had, distance may be needed. It’s okay to cut off communication for a while. The distance allows you to see your relationship more clearly and to think logically without becoming clouded by the emotion you still feel toward your ex partner. Don’t babysit the relationship hoping a spark will come again. Get your distance.

Okay so you broke up, now what did you learn? Many people become so clouded in the events that occur post breakup that they never take their lesson from the relationship. We all experience relationships and connections with others for a reason. Each person that comes in to our lives is there for a reason and to teach us something about ourselves. We are all molded and changed by each relationship we experience so that we can apply those lessons to the next. If you leave a relationship having taken nothing from it, odds are you will experience the same types of relationships over and over again. It is important to learn more about yourself and how you interact with others. It is important to shed light on those bad habits, and to take heed of the types of people you should avoid. If you choose not to learn anything, you will fall into the cycle of dating the same people, every time. Allowing yourself to become clouded by your emotions, heartbreak and resentment of a past relationship only stalls you in your journey to find the right person for you. Learn to heal the right way by viewing the break-up as a lesson instead of just a bad experience. Let it mold you, rather than allowing it to break you.