The First Look

Most people who live in london and regularly use public transport, may be familiar with ‘TFL love’ (TFL being transport for london, or as I like to think of it: The First Look). It is the sole reason, at least one total stranger a day is given the power to break my heart.

I have mentioned before, (and if i hadn’t i’m sure you could have guessed) that I am a hopeless romantic. Unfortunately, in today’s society I find myself one of a minority. We are, for the majority, a generation of sceptics. People who often say things like: “don’t throw the word love around too lightly” or “people fall in love too easily”. Well I am, unfortunately for me, a great believer in the power of the heart. There are lots of reasons I believe so avidly that feelings come a lot easier to people than they would like to admit. The fact there is no real definition to love, leaves it open for interpretation. Most people believe that whatever love is, it gets stronger the more you get to know someone. I happen to think the opposite. I think the majority of the time, my feelings are at their strongest before I know someone at all. My feelings are at their strongest at ‘The First Look’.

Put yourself in your imagination for a second, you’re rushed off your feet and have just leapt onto a tube. You sit down, compose yourself and lift your head. In front of you is the most beautiful creature you have ever seen, (we’ll exaggerate for arguments sake). In that very moment, that person could be everything you’ve ever wanted. Their character is open to your interpretation, in that very moment in your mind, they exist only in your world. In simple terms, I mean this: the person opposite you is wearing a suit, in your mind they are driven, hard working, ambitious; in reality they may be on their way back from the small claims court. You see….. you fall in love with an idea.

I am one of the worlds biggest culprits. My closest friends, who are more than mildly aware of my flack attitude to attraction are used to me planning 3 weddings an evening whenever we go out. It’s sad because I think they’ve probably stopped taking me seriously, and who blames them?

Every sexy, motivated looking man I walk past has the potential to be Mr Right. Why shouldn’t he? We need to take down our guards a little more and admit that it’s only human to be attracted to people. I would rather lock eye contact with a guy on the tube, than swipe right on my phone and see ‘It’s a match’, for me the first is sure to evoke more exciting and influential emotions.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with meeting people on the internet, I’ve done it many times before myself! I only think that with the ease that comes in gaining relationships with people we’ve never met, we have gotten so used to using it as a means to a beginning, that we have forgotten what it actually feels like to have that initial rush of attraction when you bump into someone in real life that makes your insides stop a little.

I recently started a new job, and in my first week served a ‘boy’ who was with a small group of friends. We, (so the story goes, not that I remember considerably) struck up a conversation about my 5 week summer gallivant and how bigger fan (or not) I was of the new ’95’s.

At the time, I didn’t pay it much mind and I was busy doing other things. A couple of days later he walked past the store and gave me a wave. I found myself noticing an attraction to him that I hadn’t noticed before, perhaps because my mind had been elsewhere. After walking past once, he then returned and struck up conversation with me again. It had me thinking, how often does this happen nowadays? How often do we see something we like and actually pursue it. Or are we comfortable with this idea, that we can just let them go because; ‘there are plenty of pretty faces in the world’?

The amount of times, I’ve missed opportunities and considered making business cards specifically for the use of passing to strangers on the tube, is uncountable. Granted I’m relatively dramatic, but the theory stands. How different would things be if we’d taken up, or pursued just one missed opportunity, just one passing stranger.

If I could ask one thing for this generation it would be for just a day, to put down our phones, delete our social apps and see how many times we meet people and alarm bells in our heads ring off ‘IT’S A MATCH’