More About Situationships

What do you call it when you’ve been ‘seeing’ a guy for about a year or more? In my quest to answer this question, I had a conversation with my friends, both male and female. Obviously the answers were total opposites, with the ladies telling me it was obviously a relationship and the guys saying it was simply just two friends hanging out. And both had good points for their arguments, ‘If we are simply friends, why does he feel like he can call me at all times of the day and ask where I am or dictate what I can or cannot do?’ Which was counted with ‘ If it is not a relationship why do you answer his questions?’

Getting caught up in a ‘situationship’ is easily done, it is convenient and feels good so who really needs labels? It is usually all fun at the beginning because regular d**k and good conversation is always in high demand but when he sticks around for a while and you are suddenly stocking up on two different types of orange juice because he likes the one with bits and you don’t or when you are turning men away because you are in a relationship then it is time to have a conversation.

Something I have learnt over the past few years from being in relationships is how important the conversation is, we women naturally hate discussing these things because it is hard to hear a man tell you that you are nothing more than good conversation and warm ‘noony’.
Every situation requires some form of conversation, if it is not a relationship that instantly has the boyfriend/girlfriend label then a conversation should take place, simply to save face and confusion. Not a ‘what are we?’ conversation but simply a conversation discussing the boundaries because as a friend told me ‘assumption is dangerous’. Just because he tells you his problems and shows you respect does not automatically mean he is here to stay. It could be that he was just brought up well enough to know that women need to be treated good, we meet so many complete a**holes that when a man treats us good and is actually consistent in life we take it to mean he wants more.

When I planned to write this, my argument was ‘what kind of person sticks around a girl for years simply for the sex and conversation? He must obviously see her as more’ but after speaking to a bunch of different men across a demographic of ages and types, I realised that men are pretty simple and very naive. If it is two years in and he has not brought it up to you that there is more to the relationship, then odds are there isn’t. He is literally too lazy to go find someone else and since you do your job so well and have not questioned the situation, you are obviously happy and therefore nothing needs to change. So when he starts seeing someone else or when something goes wrong, he can turn to you and tell you there was never any definition of the situation therefore he is a free agent.

Are ‘situationships’ relationships? Yes, and like all relationships, there comes time when you talk and set boundaries so emotions and pride are left intact when it is all over.