Men Are Not Projects
Too many women fall prey to this mistake, and it only leads us down a road with a dead end.
You meet a guy, he says all the right things and does all the right things but as you take a closer look at his life, personality and character you begin to notice things that bother you. Things that you know long term you will not be able to deal with. However, because he is the best looking guy that has ever approached you or maybe because his ambition and drive in life has attracted you, you begin to compromise in the hopes that one day the things you dislike, will change.
Can I be bold enough and say that this is one of the quickest way to waste your time and love.
Lets face it, we’ve all been there. Staring into the eyes of your man and seeing potential.. But what kind of potential? Is it the kind that fits into your idea of a perfect husband? Or is it the kind that he is also reaching for?
I understand that by nature women are nurturers, but a man is not a project!
Too many times I’ve heard ladies around me say.. “I know he’s no good for me right now, but one day I’m sure he will be, I’m trying to help him change”. But what if he never changes?
Like Maya Angelou said: ‘The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them’
What if the man you were seeing said the same things about you? I once had an interest tell me…. “You have some flaws and are a bit rough around the edges, but I think I can help to mold you” errr excuse me! I do not need molding thank you.
Never enter into a relationship with someone hoping for them to change. If you cannot accept who they are and love them through what you deem a flaw, then its best to get out and allow them a chance to be accepted and loved by another. What you view as a flaw another can view as perfection. He is probably exactly what another woman out there is looking for.
I am not saying you should wait around for the perfect man, if you wait for perfection you will be waiting for the rest of your life. I am also not saying that a woman cannot influence a man, a friend of mine once said ‘A woman can nag a man to success’.
Just do not compromise on the characteristics you feel are essential in the hopes of him one day ‘growing out’ of them.
In essence what I am trying to say is do not allow yourself to fall in love with the ‘idea’ of what they could be in 10 years time, rather than the man who stands before you today. Acceptance is crucial for a healthy relationship. An ex colleagues once said to me ‘Fall in love with the worst of a man, not the best part of him’.
