How To Ease Into The Possibility Of Anal Sex
In most relationships, exploring every sexual leap and bound can be a very exciting prospect. You have both gotten to that safe and trusting space, ready to open up and explore each others desires and fantasies, taking your bond to another level. But not every sexual exploit is welcomed so freely with open legs.. Well in this case, an open ass. Yes that’s right, the mere mention of anal can still make some people cringe, or can be a complete turn off, making you question who this person is anymore and how can they possibly want this ‘obsene’ act from you?! Calm down, take a breather. Yes, anal and many other less vanilla sex acts are not for everyone, and that is okay and it is always fine to say no (never feel pressured to do anything sexual that you are not 100% comfortable with).
But in the case for some more sexually open couples (we all know you are out there ), one of you may (or maybe even both of you but you may both be too coy to say) be harbouring the desire to take your sex lives to another level, and yes, that can include the prospect of anal. Of course it’s not a make or break need for every couple , but for those who may secretly be hopeful but still a little apprehensive at how to approach the topic, here are a few tips to help ease your mind into new heights of pleasure!
Talk about it
Communication is always the first step! Express your desires and talk through the concerns and reservations that may come up. Research on it together if you are particularly apprehensive. This way both of you can be a little more clued up and prepared, if and when you decide to do it.
Set up parameters
Sort of like taking mental baby steps, you don’t want to just jump right in there! Just the thought of that can make you wince in pain. Just like most sexual acts , mental reassurance is just as important as the physical act itself. It is important that he prepares your mind. Like everything you are doing for the first time you are very likely to feel apprehensive and unsure. Setting up parameters that you can communicate with your partner is a comforting and respectable way to start exploring this new sex act in you life. When he takes time to prepare your mind to the idea it is like a mental foreplay, you feel you can trust him more and you are likely to become more comfortable with the possibility. Here are some ways that he can relieve your anxieties as best as possible by understanding…
‘If you feel uncomfortable talk to him about it and explain your concerns’.
‘You need to feel that you can trust that he will stop at any point that you don’t like it or no longer feel comfortable.’
‘Try it once, if you don’t like it, it doesn’t have to be explored again.’
‘It doesn’t have to be a regular act in your sex life, if you don’t want it to be’
Make sure he is clear about your parameters!
These mental reassurances help you know that you can trust him and that this is a two way pleasure exchange that you can both get down with.
Let him walk you through it
Being gentle and taking your time is key in making a hesitant woman feel at ease. Whether you are both new to it or he is a pro, taking it slow the first time and making you understand every step is important in maintaining the trust throughout the whole act, from the convincing you to give it a go all the way up until the orgasm. Once you overcome that first anal trust fall, before you know it, it can be part of your regular sex play.
Don’t force it
“Oops! it went in the wrong hole..” Whilst this may work on some women (apparently) this is generally not funny nor clever and can make you end up shutting up shop on your sex life all together. Whether you are in a serious relationship or a casual hook up, a little consideration should never go a miss, make sure he knows this.
Please be sure to check out our previous blog about Anal Etiquette to make sure you have a safe and enjoyable start to this journey!
Happy anal play!
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