How Do You Know When You’ve Found The One?

So many people I know began this year with the words: ‘It’s time for me to settle down.’ Men and women who have grown tired of dating life, ready to find the one. But is it really that easy? Do you just say you’re ready and your dream partner comes tumbling out the closet (hopefully literally and not metaphorically, unless of course you also have tumbled out the closet in which case; yay dream match).

Unfortunately I think not, in fact I think you’re more likely to find your dream partner when you least expect it. The question is how do you know? How do you know the person you locked eyes with across the street, who followed you and asked for your number isn’t another time waster?

After all, it’s amazing the effort time wasters go to nowadays just to get you as a tally on the chart. You wanna clarify how serious it is from the get go, are they looking for the same things, do they want the same things, but you don’t want to scare them away. But there are signs, clear ones, that maybe you’re both in this for the long run.

The problem is, being ‘independent’ is such a huge thing in our generation, people are neglecting to let themselves feel, people are refusing to be honest about how they actually feel about people, because it goes against what they believe.

Did you know that 39% of men say ‘I love you’ to someone within the first month of seeing them and mean it! It sounds wild but it’s true. When you think about it, this isn’t a totally unrealistic ideal is it. I think nearly everyone I know in successful, happy, long term relationships has told me that when they knew they just knew.

My parents, met and got engaged 6 weeks later, they were married within 6 months, and 25 years, 3 kids later they are still totally in love. I think this is half my problem, this is what I’ve watched growing up, so it’s what I expect. Between me and you, I think I might have cracked it.

You know from the second you see someone if you think they’re attractive or not, I’m reluctant to believe that if this initial attraction isn’t there, they are the one for you. I know ‘looks aren’t everything’, but chemistry accounts for something.

Secondly, perseverance is a big one. It’s difficult to keep a hold of someone once you’ve met, or even find out who they are if your meeting was a fly by, but someone who finds you and pursues you is always one to watch. It takes a lot of effort to chase someone without any guarantee of success. For men, I really think Steve Harvey hit the nail on the head in ‘Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady’, essentially that’s what it is.

Men need to find a woman, with a similar mentality to him, who enjoys some of the same things, who can still be her own woman. Someone who’ll get on with his friends, without needing to be flirty or brassy. ‘Meeting the friends’ is an incredibly important situation, first of all, if you don’t feel comfortable doing this, chuck it. Even if there’s no surface reason, subconsciously something is bugging you and this definitely isn’t the kind of vibe you want.

The people someone chooses to spend their time with, are an extension of who they are. It is so so important that a partner’s friends like you, after all they know them better and they will have an idea of what their friend deserves or wants.

I think though, above all of these facts the most obvious sign is how you feel with them on a one on one basis. Time becomes a none issue, the outside world kind of fades into the background, your phone goes missing somewhere in the duvet and it’s almost always over too soon. (Can you tell I’m totally smitten yet?)
Find the person that makes everything else fade into the background, and I give you the one.
As valentines approaches, don’t let yourself me swept out to sea by time wasters and gallis.