#AskOloni His Ex And Her Family

Your favourite sex and relationship agony aunt

Disclaimer: All dilemmas have been sent from real women and taken from www.simplyoloni.com/ask but answered in this feature in more detail.

His Ex & Her Family

My boyfriend always made out he wasn’t in contact with any of his ex’s. However recently he’s changed his tune and told me he’s very close to one of his ex’s family. He’s always at her house helping out her family and chilling with her siblings, but swears blind he doesn’t see or talk to her. She recently contacted him asking for a favour and they met up. He said it wasn’t a big deal but failed to tell me and I found out through someone else. Am I being paranoid? – Anonymous

You’re not being paranoid, you’re uncomfortable and to be perfectly honest any other person in this position would be too. It’s hard to believe that when he goes there he doesn’t see or speak to her, yet socialises strictly with her family alone. How would he feel if you constantly spent time with someone from a past relationship? The fact he never told you about the favour is quite dodgy and his behaviour is inappropriate. If you have voiced your concerns already it’s now up to you to decide on whether or not you can continue to commit to this relationship.

The Single Woes

It seems like I can never get a guy to take things to the relationship stage, I’ve tried everything from holding out on the sex for a while to giving it up when prompted, yet it seems I can never get to that emotionally intimate stage with a guy. How can I ensure that my next endeavour will result in me being in a worthwhile relationship? – Anonymous

Holding out or giving ‘it’ up early won’t get you a man tomorrow. Relationships aren’t what they used to be like once upon a time so understand this and be patient, try to meet men who are more inclined to building something serious. Not the ‘Let’s just see where this goes’ fellas. Try dating more, meeting new guys from different places, don’t go for the guys you’d usually date. Make sure you’re doing something different to get a different result and REMEMBER, you must work on yourself and become the best version you can be. It’s no good asking for a person to settle down with, if you’re not a person who’s worth settling down with.

The Secret Baby

I am 23 and I have been with my 29-year-old boyfriend for 4 months after only knowing each other for 6 weeks. I have now recently found out the woman he was seeing on and off for 2 years is 7 months pregnant with his child. I’ve been made aware that he has no intentions of playing the father role. Our relationship is amazing and I really like him but he kept this secret from me and now I am worried about the future. – Anonymous

The truth is this isn’t a guy that you should really be investing any more time into. If he can turn his back on his own child, his own flesh and blood. How will he treat you? If he can keep this a secret, what else will he hide? I know you like him but it is still early days and these are all clear red flags, so be wise and move on before it’s too late. He can’t be that amazing if this is what he’s capable of.