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Hi Oloni, I’m wondering if you can give me some guidance on a situation. So here it is….I thought I found an amazing guy he’s smart, funny, kind, good looking… To say the least I thought I had “won” I lost my virginity to him, it was only last year I was 22. I’ve had boyfriends in the past but no one ever moved me like he did. I wasn’t willing to give it up for just anyone and I thought he was different. I can’t begin to explain how comfortable I was with this person, I really did think we were meant for each other… Then he left me, we were on 2 different paths and distance was an issue… Now it’s over and I found out from a mutual friend that he had been seeing other girls when we were together. I’m broken. I’ve never got to this point with someone where I gave my everything to them and be to hurt this badly. I think it’s important to note how I am as a person: I’m a strong believer in the fact young relationships do not work, I would put my work and dreams ahead of a man and I don’t really believe that relationships last forever. But still I gave my everything to this boy and I really thought it would work, I’m very reserved I don’t particularly let people know about what occurs in my life but I let him in. I told him everything and would have done anything for him. Before him I would pay no attention to guys I was a firm believer in getting yourself all the way together before sharing your life with someone… I don’t know how to deal with heartbreak. I’ve never been hurt like this and it’s affecting everything, I can’t stop crying (something I never do) and I hate the fact that I’m crying over a guy. How do you deal with the fact that you gave your everything to someone and it still wasn’t enough? I haven’t confronted him about the fact I know what he’s done, we don’t speak anymore I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning? I just want to be happy again and there’s a sick part of me that wants to just pretend that I don’t know what’s happened and just let it go… Like I said previously I don’t discuss things that occur in my life with anyone so my friends aren’t even aware… I really don’t have anyone to turn to and believe me I’m really not the type to ask for help especially when it’s from someone I don’t know but here I am asking for your advice haha…please if there’s anything you can say for it to just stop the pain I’d be more than happy to hear it (I would really appreciate it if this stayed off Twitter) x
17. May 2015
Hey love. first of all realise, you are not alone millions of us have experiences such heartbreak. You think someone is your all and love them only to realise.. yes, this person is human, yes, this person is capable of hurting me.
What you shouldn’t do and also learn from this, is to never let your happiness depend on another soul. Right now you’re going through a process or hurt, betrayal and anger, so it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to have a hundred things going through your mind. What I always tell people when they’ve come out of a very emotional break up is to keep yourself busy and to be around those who love you.
You may find this hard to believe now, but you will be okay, after all there was life before you met him.
I wouldn’t suggest you contact him and let him know what you found out, I just want you to heal and get through this process. Nothing positive will come from it.
Hey oloni, I love what you’re doing!. I just wanted to ask, how do I get over my ex? I thought I was over him till I found out he had a new girlfriend, it really upset me because when we were seeing each other I never got the full girlfriend title even tho I got introduced to his family and when with me he also said he couldn’t do the long distance but his new gf is also distant as their unis ain’t as close to each other? Am I being selfish because I feel like this? I mean he seems really happy now I’m just sad I couldn’t be the one. I feel like he’s the real reason I haven’t been able to start something new with anyone else
17. May 2015
Hey love! If you get a copy of 100 Questions all the answers you need are there: https://simplyoloni.com/product/100-questions/
I was seeing someone and had sex with them but they went to prison a week later. He’s now been in prison for nearly a year and always asks me to send him explicit photos of myself. I have visited him a few times but can’t help thinking that he is just keeping me sweet whilst he’s on the inside so he has female attention. Do I wait until he comes out and stay faithful to him (he comes out in 6 months) or am I being deluded in thinking that he means all these things and that we will be in a relationship together once he comes out? Thanks Oloni
15. May 2015
If you were seeing each other, you don’t have to be faithful to anybody. You’re not even married! Be smart about it, yes you can carry on paying him visits but don’t get too wrapped up, by giving your all to someone who can’t/hasn’t given their all back.
Hey Oloni, I need some advice. I recently ended things with an ex who was so mean to me. However, I can’t stop craving the sex. Trust me, I have all types of toys to keep me going but my ex was the best I ever had, and he knew EVERYTHING I liked. lol How can I get over it? I’m hooked. I don’t want to call him up, I know that I need to move on but I’m horny. lol In all seriousness, I am worried that this may lead me back to him. Would you recommend me trying a buddy?
15. May 2015
If you can handle having a sex buddy and not get emotionally attached then try it. I would also say stick to toys or invest in some new ones, yes there’s always going to be that guy who knows how to hit the spot… but lets be real no one knows OUR bodies better than WE do.
I’m 25 I’m having trouble maintaining an erection. My gf thinks I don’t fancy her and has accused of being gay. I find her attracted and I do get erections when I’m alone and when I shower/bathe. I don’t know what’s wrong 🙁
15. May 2015
See a doctor it could be a number of things, but do understand this happens to a LOT of males.
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