6 Habits For A Healthy Relationship
I do not know about you, but it has now become my sole intention to avoid a relationship plagued with toxicity, heartache and consistent tears on my pillow.
Whilst conflict is a natural part of every relationship and I am not expecting to never have moments of disagreement (how else will we be able to have that amazing make up sex?), I am more so speaking of those perilous situations that get you questioning why you have chosen to be with this person at all, if all they do is make you feel sad and conflicted more then they make you feel happy and loved, and I mean way more of the former. Constant arguing, distance, forced communication and emotionally draining interaction just does not seem like the kind of love you signed up for does it? Those are just some of the more notable trademarks of an unhealthy relationship.
For those of us familiar with the qualities of such an emotionally debilitating relationship, here at Simply Oloni we have compiled a few pointers to keep in mind to help towards a more healthy, positive and emotionally stable relationship in the future.
1. They make time for each other
This may seem like an obvious point, you adore each other so why would you not make enough time for each other, right? Well you will be surprised, sometimes life can consume most of our time, work being one of the major factors for many of us. But despite such a hectic schedule in the lives that we lead, those in healthy relationships dedicate some of their free time to spending it together. Date nights are not a thing of the past, heart to hearts are had casually and not just in crisis, moments of deep intimacy are not neglected, (a great sex life can have so many benefits, but that’s for another post!) or simply just meeting each other for lunch or even going to the gym together is the kind of quality time you need to build a healthy relationship. Making effort to include your partner into regular activities in your life shows that you value your relationship and strive to maintain that bond between you. Those in destructive relationships may prioritise work and their own personal social lives over that of their relationship. A healthy balance between all is required.
2. They have each others back
Personally for me, this has proved to be an important one. Expression of loyalty in all its forms is key in maintaining a healthy relationship. Not only do you support each others aspirations, fears and passions with unwavering honesty and encouragement, but you also try to be considerate about their feelings even in situations that you may not agree with. Feeling like your partner is making an effort to maintain that bridge of understanding between you is encouraging and the kind of emotional support that isn’t always frequently acknowledged. People in healthy relationships do not try to tear each other down or make each other intentionally insecure , they celebrate and build each other up.
3. They leave past relationships behind them
Carrying pain and baggage over into your new relationships can have devastating effects on the new love you may have blossoming. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you have not dealt with the hurt that you may have experienced in the past, and ultimately you can end up hurting your current partner due to these insecurities manifesting in your new union. Ideally, you should always take each past experience as a learning curve and try to release any pain you may feel before moving forward. We all know that the threat of ‘the ghost of ex-mas past’ may try to rear its ugly head from time to time, just because they had not released themselves emotionally from you. Try not to let that interfere with something good that you may be experiencing now! Let it all go!
4. They have a strong foundation of trust
Trust is one of the most important factors in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. Without trust the foundation can be incredibly fragile and once broken, can be a feat that you may struggle to gain back. People in unhealthy relationships who lack trust can find themselves becoming possessive and jealous, resulting in acts where they may find themselves searching through their partners social media inboxes, phones, text messages, emails, only helping to fuel their own insecurities, destroying the relationship. This is always a dark place for you to fall into, relationship wise. As well as this being a serious violation of their trust, this is an obvious indication of how much of it may be lacking between you. Healthy relationships require complete faith in each other in order to feel safe and content in the growing union, a solid foundation of trust is paramount.
5.They make each other laugh often
I didn’t realise how important this part of the relationship was for me until it was lacking considerably in my past relationship. We had got into such a dark space that we were not even able to have any humor between us and that can be incredibly detrimental. Laughter is an underrated act that helps to solidify your bond, ease stress between you and draws you closer to each other in a comforting and enjoyable way. My current relationship is a testament to the beauty of this,where even a friend of mine noted that “You guys are always laughing!”, humor has become such an important component for me that I no longer want to take it for granted as it is a sign of a healthy kind of happiness between us, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!
6.They give each other space
Reserving some personal space between you is just as important a requirement as spending time together, you need a healthy balance of alone time, something men seem to really relish in (as it gives them a chance to fart and scratch their balls in peace ). But of course, both sexes require their own space to have a breather and explore their own interests and interact with their friends and family as an individual and not just an inseparable twosome. It helps to maintain a healthy balance within your relationship as you won’t feel overwhelmed and suffocated if you take some time for yourself. You will both appreciate it.
